[rainbow_rose]

i am currently on a short break from therapy ... 'cause the whole therapy thing is feeling different to me (not bad, just different) and to see what my life is like now without it. so far so good (though it hasn't even been a week yet ).

my therapist said something that I'm trying to understand (and I won't be able to ask her until Jan). she said maybe i am outgrowing parts of the therapy process. i'm not sure what this means.

anyone have any thoughts or have experienced something like this?

thanks for reading and for any responses

[CantExplain]

I haven't outgrown it yet and I've been doing it for a decade.

I feel my T is not so strict with me now, but that could be an illusion. After all, I'm not working so hard to break the rules!

[nicoleb2]

I'm not sure what that would mean. I've been in therapy for 5 years. There are times when I am not in crisis, but still have things to work on, but there are still a lot of times that I am either in or near crisis mode, so I don't think I'll be outgrowin therapy any time soon

I think its when you feel different that you will have your answer.

I just think that you know when your time in therapy is coming to a natural end. I have been seeing my t for several years now, and in the last few months I feel things have changed. I am feeling angry with her in a lot of ways and for the first time ever, I am not dreading the forthcoming 5 week Christmas break. Therapy is meant to end, go with your heart.

[roadtrip]

As we grow we naturally want more or different things. A toddler needs certain things but as you grow your needs change and naturally you want to let go and go out into the world to get it. A toddler my have a hard time imagining living on its own. A teenager may dream of leaving while letting go some and a full grown offspring is likely to go off into there own space. It's just to say T helps us to grow and expanding our lives is a natural result of that.

Also I'd read on here and hear T talk about natural endings of our relationship when we both agree with it. I'd think yeah like NEVER. but very recently I can see how I went to him for certain things and now I've grown a lot and am eyeing giving those things to myself and looking out into my personal life to get more things.Like earthmamma said "when you feel different you will know the answer" for yourself too.

[roads]

Maybe outgrowing in the sense of having "graduated from"? E.g., when we've moved thru transference to more independence. Or maybe you don't need a scheduled T session to build your life around--rather, your life can have its own structure, & you schedule a session when you feel you need one?

Just thinking about the way she phrased it ...

[rainbow_rose]

thank you everyone for taking the time to respond.

the reason i ask this is that therapy (and I) DO feel different .. but I don't have any answers.

i know I am definitely not done with therapy...i know that when that time comes, i will know.

it's just different now.

[jazzy123456]

different usually means GROWTH. pat yourself on the back

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by rainbow_rose

i am currently on a short break from therapy ... 'cause the whole therapy thing is feeling different to me (not bad, just different) and to see what my life is like now without it. so far so good (though it hasn't even been a week yet ).

my therapist said something that I'm trying to understand (and I won't be able to ask her until Jan). she said maybe i am outgrowing parts of the therapy process. i'm not sure what this means.

anyone have any thoughts or have experienced something like this?

thanks for reading and for any responses

here outgrowing some parts of therapy just means you know and use the things a therapist has taught you so you dont need to keep going over the same things over and over again. it also means the problems you went in to therapy with are straightened out for you so that they are no longer problem areas for you.

when this happens with me it means its time to leave the issues that are now non issues and set new goals for my present problems or take a break from therapy until I have more issues to work on.

examples when I was a child the issues at hand were my being raped by someone in the neighborhood, testifying in court against the abuser and PTSD issues.

my abuser was convicted so testifying was turned into a non issue, I eventually stopped having nightmares that the abuser was going to come after me for testifying against him, and I eventually stopped having nightmares about the attacks, and eventually stopped having panic attacks about the abuser.

my therapist and my parents decided I had out grown those therapy issues and to let me stop therapy.

then I grew into being a teen ager and PTSD reared its head again with my dating issues. So it was back to my therapist. At that time I was also diagnosed with depression and other things.

As those issues were taken care of my therapist, parents and I met to discuss whether I stayed in therapy or not and if so what goals I wanted to work on next.

During my adult life the same thing went on and still does. I enter therapy when I have issues to work on. when those are cleared up my therapist and I discuss where to go from there - take a break, or new issues and new goals.

[SoupDragon]

Is it like when we outgrow our dependency on our parents? The relationrhip becomes unsatisfying and we seek something new to fulfil us?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Is it like when we outgrow our dependency on our parents? The relationrhip becomes unsatisfying and we seek something new to fulfil us?

not sure who you are asking that but in my case no it isnt about not being satified in therapy.

when you out grow clothes it is about maturing, aging, height and changing styles.

for me therapy is the same way. I start therapy with one problem, as I grow and heal mentally that problem gets solved and is no longer a problem. my style has changed because I have learned better ways of handling my problem. So I naturally move on to the next problem.when I have grown and healed beyond that problem, I deal with the next one.

to me the term unsatisfying is different than "out growing". to me the term unsatisfying means not happy with it. there were very few times when I was unhappy about therapy, my therapist and what problems we were dealing with. when I was unhappy about the therapist I said good bye and got another one. if I didnt like where therapy was going my therapist and I talked about it and worked it out so that my therapy was going where it was supposed to go.

to me "outgrowing" means I dont need to be working on the same goals over and over again any more, or I dont need therapy anymore. which ever be the case.

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

different usually means GROWTH. pat yourself on the back

Thank you, jazzy. I do need to acknowledge that, don't I? Just feel a bit disconcerted by it right now ... a bit unfamiliar.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

when this happens with me it means its time to leave the issues that are now non issues and set new goals for my present problems or take a break from therapy until I have more issues to work on.

thank you, amandalouise. this may be what I need to do. My overall goals have not changed, nor have we reached them. But something has shifted so maybe it's just time for a 'tune-up' for those goals.

thanks again to all who responded and help me work through this. i do appreciate it.

[jazzy123456]

Originally Posted by rainbow_rose

Thank you, jazzy. I do need to acknowledge that, don't I? Just feel a bit disconcerted by it right now ... a bit unfamiliar.

thanks again to all who responded and help me work through this. i do appreciate it.

Yes! we do need to acknowledge that naturally "out---growing" something means we have grown! We have made progress and we should celebrate that. We should think about where to go next from that point on but, we cannot allow ourselves to over-emphasize our negative perceptions of ourselves and downplay the good... we have to have a balance between giving ourselves constructive criticism and being our own best friend as well. I am in the process of figuring out how to ACT on those words myself.

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by rainbow_rose

Thank you, jazzy. I do need to acknowledge that, don't I? Just feel a bit disconcerted by it right now ... a bit unfamiliar.

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

Yes! we do need to acknowledge that naturally "out---growing" something means we have grown! We have made progress and we should celebrate that. We should think about where to go next from that point on but, we cannot allow ourselves to over-emphasize our negative perceptions of ourselves and downplay the good... we have to have a balance between giving ourselves constructive criticism and being our own best friend as well. I am in the process of figuring out how to ACT on those words myself.

Thanks, jazzy! I can see this so much more clearer now than when I was in the middle of it.