[lostmyway21]

So today's session went...okay. We spent most of it talking about abuse, and my current situation. He offered a bunch of advice (which is something I need) but I ended up telling him NO to everything. The session starting winding down and I got quiet. He asked how I felt and I said depressed. Then he talked for a few minutes, and he stopped mid sentence and said that he lost me. I guess I was dissociating a lot. He tried to bring me back but I couldn't come back. He told me that I was was scaring him. We brought the session to an end after I reassured him I was okay, and I left.

Now I am wondering has anyone else's T ever said that you were scaring them? I feel bad for worrying him, but at the same time I feel comforted that he did. He finally seems in tune with me, and I finally feel safe. Idk. I am just rambling I guess...

[JustWannaDisappear]

She hasn't used the word scaring but has said she is very concerned and worried. I never know what to say to that, so I just sit there.

I definitely scared my 2nd T. Pretty much the same kind of situation. I dissociated so badly that he was not able to bring me back for quite a long time. He told me a few years later that that was the scariest moment he had encountered as a therapist.

My current T doesn't use the word "scared"; I actually doubt that he gets scared on the job -- he's such a rock. But he does talk of being worried when I go through a depressive episode.

My first therapist told me YEARS after I stopped therapy that I scared the snot of him while we involved in doing therapy. and at the same time! For some reason, that struck me as really funny. He was a grad student at the time and he said he spent a lot of time in our sessions thinking, "Holy *****!! What do I even say to that?"

[pbutton]

No, he hasn't ever said that. One time he said "My fear for you is..." and I did NOT like that at all.

[stopdog]

The one I see has said she had been getting very concerned after the concerned thing had ended. I don't think she would say it while it was happening for fear of freaking me out.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by stopdog

The one I see has said she had been getting very concerned after the concerned thing had ended. I don't think she would say it while it was happening for fear of freaking me out.

It wasn't so much that comment that freaked me out, it was something he said about possibly calling ems that did. I was to dissociated to realize what he had said or I would have freaked out BIG time.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

It wasn't so much that comment that freaked me out, it was something he said about possibly calling ems that did. I was to dissociated to realize what he had said or I would have freaked out BIG time.

Oh my goodness. A t saying he was calling ems would seriously freak me out.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Oh my goodness. A t saying he was calling ems would seriously freak me out.

I think he said something more along the lines that I was scaring him and he was unsure if he would need to call ems or not. Thank god I wasn't really present at the time, and didn't realize what he had said until after I left.

I understand why he said it and I know he was just being responsible by making sure I am cared for, but talk about feeling --->

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

Now I am wondering has anyone else's T ever said that you were scaring them?

Not mine. At least, not like that.

Nope, and I would be in flashback many times in therapy. If a therapist is scared they perhaps need more training. They are supposed to show us no matter what state we present to them that is ok. All part of therapy.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

Nope, and I would be in flashback many times in therapy. If a therapist is scared they perhaps need more training. They are supposed to show us no matter what state we present to them that is ok. All part of therapy.

I think he was scared at if I would be okay once I left, because of things I said in session...and THEN the fact I slipped into silent depressed dissociative spell. He wasn't scared that I wasn't present, or disociating. (I do that a lot) He just was unsure if I was safe to go home.

I have scared my old therapist a number of times and she used to tell me the session afterwards.

I get the whole 'I'm really worried about you' all the time though. it can be good cuz it means they are listening and understand how bad I'm feeling but at the same time I know that sentence usually means hospital or high care from the crisis team.

I had nurses say that I'm scaring them when I've been really bad with psychosis and really suicidal at the same time.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

My first therapist told me YEARS after I stopped therapy that I scared the snot of him while we involved in doing therapy. and at the same time!"

Mine too! We were both kids back then and mine was terrified of me. She hung in there for 4 years and then took me back 5 years later...but she told me how scared she'd been.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by bubsmiley

Mine too! We were both kids back then and mine was terrified of me. She hung in there for 4 years and then took me back 5 years later...but she told me how scared she'd been.

In what way did she think you were going to hurt her?

[retro_chic]

I hate it when my T makes a comment on how upset I look. I always try and put up this facade that I'm fine and if someone sees through that I tend to get very uncomfortable. My T once said that she had "Never seen me at this level of hopelessness and she could 'feel' my anxiety". I don't know why but comments like that freak me out

[SoupDragon]

He's said he has been concerned about me leaving and made me make eye contact with him before I leave and asked me if I would be able to contact him if I needed to. I think saying he was scared would make me feel more unsafe, like shxt there really is something to worry about here.

I hope you are able to keep safe - Soup

At the end of this week's session, we were talking about a lot of stuff and I got real quiet and sort of all in my head and not really engaging with him but time was up and for the first time in a year... he like moved closer to me to really force me to look at him and make sure I was "there" and asked how I was and if I was okay to leave....

If he had used the word "scared" it might have freaked me out,..

[Perna]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

I feel bad for worrying him, but at the same time I feel comforted that he did. He finally seems in tune with me, and I finally feel safe.

Yes, I understand this. I was only partly consciously wandering down a bad pathway early in therapy when my T suddenly said, very firmly, "Stop that!". I had to stop just to figure out what I had been doing; it was like I saw my T in front of me, daggers out, barring my path further down She got me! From then on (the next 25 years :-) I used that incident to help me work with her, knowing she could get it if I'd help and work with her.

Can'tExplain, my T was not scared that I was going to hurt him, he was scared I was going to hurt me, OR that he would do or say something wrong during our time in therapy together that would make me worse. He was a grad student at the time, and I was assigned to work with him through the university.

[crazycanbegood]

i've scared my T a few times when she thought that i would sui or SI to the extreme

I vaguely remembering once when I was in a REALLY bad place a few years ago and I asked T "what am I supposed to do?" and he said "I'm trying to figure that out" and it scared the hell out of me.

I know T worries about me sometimes, but I know that he almost always believes that I can get through what I need to get through...and the fact that he believes that makes me feel safer.

I think T mainly feels sad when I am having a hard time, not scared. Sad is okay. Scared would scare me.

[lostmyway21]

Thinking back on the session, he was was probably scared about letting me leave. He was right on them money though, I didn't realize how bad off I was until I looked back on this thread. I think the only reasons he let me go is because I have a running promise that I would call him before I ever acted on any sui thoughts.

[BlessedRhiannon]

My T has occasionally said that she's concerned for me, and there have been sessions where she's asked me if I'm okay to leave. If I tell her I'm fine, she stops me and asks if I'm really fine or just saying that. I appreciated that my T is in touch enough with me to realize when I'm not okay.

[bluemountains]

I believe I only scared my T once (so far) when I must have presented myself as sui., I really wasn't then, but she still checked up on me to see how I was after the session. That was only about a month into therapy, and now she can read me a bit better. Also, I will make and have made contact if I am too off center.
Bluemountains