An odd sense of calm

I'm sure most of you have read my posts about my issues with my T. I've been ruminating ever since my last session a week ago. I am completely over the fact that there will never be a post-therapy friendship. The imagery exercise of letting go of the rope with that hope (represented by T herself) on the end of it really seems to have taken care of it.

My ruminations since then have been on the current therapeutic relationship. I want her to remain my T and I don't want to have to fear referral to someone else. I want to be able to speak freely and for her to accept me as I am. That is what I am going to talk about in my session today. I know there is a risk I will lose her, but I must advocate for myself.

Tonight I realized something. For most of yesterday, I have not been ruminating. I worked, went to the chiropractor, came home, went out to eat with friends, returned home, called my parents, then worked on a painting. No ruminations. Just a few passing thoughts...and when the thoughts enter my head, I have an eerie sense of calm and assurance that everything will be okay. That I will be okay, no matter what. I'm not used to this, but it is bliss!

I hope this sense of calm continues. If I am confident when I read her my letter and tell her the progress I've made this week, I am certain that she will soften. She obviously has a soft spot for me and I know she loves me. Looking back at last week's session with a bit more clarity, I realize she was actually nervous as hell when she was talking to me but trying really hard to hide it. I think that's why she talked most of the session; she really didn't want to say what she felt she had to say. She rambles when she's nervous.

I may be wrong, but I think everything will work out the way I hope. This is also unusual for me; I usually catastrophize.

Feel free to ride along with me today. I need all the support I can get!

You can count me in. I might learn something! It all sounds really positive for you.

I will come with you Chopin

I'll come.

Go Chopin.....I'll b thinking about you.

Thanks everyone. This morning, I have a general nervousness usual for my personality, but I will persevere on this blah, rainy day!

Hope I wasn't too late to jump aboard - Soup

Never too late, Soup...plus I've got five hours to go.

Haven't had much time to think about it since I've been at work. One of my MR/DD clients had a behavioral episode. He caught me unawares by throwing a tissue box at me, hitting me square in the face. He then slapped a coworker in the face and threw a chair at me (I deflected the chair). I normally don't work directly with clients on a day to day basis, but I'm working with him to figure out what methods to use with him so that I can teach my staff effective ways to manage his behaviors and increase his attention span!

I am pulling for you! You sounded so much more centered and then WTF at work????

Like you needed that???

We all need a chair thrown at us every so often...puts things in perspective!

It's part of my normal, everyday life. The coworker who was slapped and I are the people who teach protective interventions to our staff (how to handle aggressive individuals). I actually think it's good for staff to see that we can try our best to handle situations the way we teach and that sometimes those interventions fail. When we accepted this client into our facility, we knew we were taking on a huge challenge. He's 5'6" and about 145 lbs. and he managed to kick our executive director, who's 6'6", 250 lbs., and has worked in the field over 25 years!

My job is never boring...and I love it!

I'll come with you Chopin you'll be in my thoughts. Hope it goes well

I'm here...whee whee wheeeeeeeee!!!

Have a good time, we're "here" with you

I LOVE that little geico piggy!!!

Sorry I am too late to go with you, but I'm hoping your session went well and waiting to hear about it!