[sittingatwatersedge]

when at the end of your very first meeting, the new T says, "I appreciate your being so candid.'

My gut reaction was "uh-oh".

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

when at the end of your very first meeting, the new T says, "I appreciate your being so candid.'

My gut reaction was "uh-oh".

hard to know since I don't know what you talked about but Maybe it just means T. isn't used to having patients open up so easily about themselves or maybe you shared what you are looking for in a T. or in your therapy journeyand he found that refreshing...

[ECHOES]

Do you know why your gut reaction was "uh-oh"? Oh, wait you are asking that. :duh:

What comes up for me is that "uh-oh, she's gonna expect this every time" or "uh-oh I wonder what, of all that, she is going to pull out and want me to talk about next week" or it might be something completely different for you, that only you can answer..

[rainbow_rose]

if my therapist said that to me, i'd feel like i'd done something good, something brave.

[sittingatwatersedge]

"thank you for being so candid" , IRL, could mean "gee thanks, most people would have kept that tactfully to themselves, i guess you just had to blurt it out"
or
"you have said something that normal people would never have let escape their lips, but whatever".

I was wondering whether T's saying that might mean any of that.

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

"thank you for being so candid" , IRL, could mean "gee thanks, most people would have kept that tactfully to themselves, i guess you just had to blurt it out"
or
"you have said something that normal people would never have let escape their lips, but whatever".

I was wondering whether T's saying that might mean any of that.

hmm... to me, IRL, someone saying that might be sarcastic or cynical.

but i believe a therapist would be more sincere and I'd take it as a positive comment.

jmho.

Originally Posted by rainbow_rose

hmm... to me, IRL, someone saying that might be sarcastic or cynical.

but i believe a therapist would be more sincere and I'd take it as a positive comment.

jmho.

I agree with this. T's are aware of how much weight their words carry, and usually are very clear in saying what they mean. Those of us who are used to having to "interpret" what people really mean (reading between the lines) have to get used to the fact that we don't need to do that with T. Certainly my T does not attempt to send me coded messages - he says what he thinks, period. I think your T meant what she said - she truly did appreciate the fact that she felt you were speaking honestly.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

"thank you for being so candid" , IRL, could mean "gee thanks, most people would have kept that tactfully to themselves, i guess you just had to blurt it out"
or
"you have said something that normal people would never have let escape their lips, but whatever".

I was wondering whether T's saying that might mean any of that.

Just tonight T and I were talking about "the relationship" and I told her how sometimes I feel so uneasy about it, because it's personal...but it isn't, and it's business...but it's more. And I frequently say that I wish I was one of her patients (the ones who have an appt before, who I dress up like paper dolls with all kinds of talents, skills, virtues...little tabs folded over their shoulders.. ), who I imagine are very talkative and find it easy to say anything and everything in therapy. Which lead us to talk about the 'unevenness' of the therapy relationship and how it is different than a non-therapy relationship. And that makes me think that what your T said means "I am enjoyed talking with you and I really admire how candid you are."

sawe, being candid in therapy is great and useful. And maybe it wasn't appreciated before, so it feels 'not right' to hear it now.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

when at the end of your very first meeting, the new T says, "I appreciate your being so candid.'

Sounds nice to me!