[lostmyway21]

I was thinking to myself the other day, and sometimes when it's really hard to get grounded, just a simple response from my T usually calms me down enough to refocus. I am working on not impulsively emailing my T, even though he's awesome about it, I did say I would TRY harder...and I am committed to working on it.

Here's my question. I sometimes wish I had something from him that I could just read over and over when I am triggered. I don't have the courage to ask him to write me something, because I don't really know what I want him to write.

Is it strange that I want that? Or does anyone else have something from there T that they use when they can't get grounded?

[pbutton]

I don't think that is strange at all. I re-read my emails from T quite a bit.

I had trouble remembering some things my T told me that were really helpful, but so foreign to me that I just couldn't hold on to them in my head. He wrote them down on a legal pad. I carried this piece of paper around with me constantly for a year and a half. A friend of mine started therapy with my T recently and was having the same problem, and was having a huge issue, so I loaned her my piece of paper this last weekend.

[pbutton]

My T has offered to write things down for me if I say I'm having trouble focusing. You might be able to try asking your T like that.

[stopdog]

I do not think it is odd at all to want something like that.

I have lots of stuff from my T. He used to write me little post-it notes to take home I still have them and I run across them sometimes. Now we leave each other voice mails after session, which I love, because I can get out any last minute thoughts/insights/worries and he can remind me of the things I really want to hang onto from session.

It's always okay to ask

[lostmyway21]

Thanks for your input guys. It helped me figure out how to ask for it. I asked him last night and he said he could do that.

[granite1]

i don't think it is unreasonable to want that at all and i bet if you are able to ask for it your T will be willing to do that for you.first i would decide what you need to herar from him durring these times you are triggered and then take a huge big breath and as hard and as uncomfortable it may be,ask him if he would be willing to do this.i bet he will

[lostmyway21]

I asked and he said he would do that. I just dont know exactly what I need him to write. Hmm ...I hope he doesnt ask me, because I dont know.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

I asked and he said he would do that. I just dont know exactly what I need him to write. Hmm ...I hope he doesnt ask me, because I dont know.

If he does ask, you could give him a little creative challenge. Tell him you'd like something to use to comfort yourself when the two of you are not together. This is the kind of stuff T's are good at.

[mixedup_emotions]

That's great that you asked your T!!! One time, before I was having a procedure done, I asked if he would leave me a voicemail that I could listen to in case I was getting anxious and needed his reassurance. Perhaps you can share with T your idea of when you might need to refer to his note....like, when you're anxious, or having a meltdown, or feel helpless or hopeless....and that may help him understand just what you might need to read during that time.....

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by pbutton

If he does ask, you could give him a little creative challenge. Tell him you'd like something to use to comfort yourself when the two of you are not together. This is the kind of stuff T's are good at.

Thats an awesome idea.

[skysblue]

I have a few saved voice messages from T to access if I need to. Although not needed much at all, just knowing they're there is helpful.

I don't think it is strange at ALL. I think its pobably pretty normal! I have a couple notes from my T that I read for comfort. She's even given me a couple stuffed animals from her office to sleep with. And, we also made 2 of those recordable story books together with both our voices, so I can hear her voice any time I want. I've even got her voice on a recording on my iPod, reading a story, so I can listen to her all the time if I like. Its not the same as her being here in person, but at least its SOMETHING.

[Joanna_says]

I don't think this is strange either. And I am glad that you did ask for it.

My T once had said just the right and perfect words to me when I needed them. But soon afterwards I had forgotten most of it. Especially the precise wording he used was simply so beautiful. I wished for a long time after I could have had that in writing or on a tape to listen to it...
So I do think this is quite normal to feel that way!

[Chopin99]

I have a "note" on my iPad that I call "T-isms"; when she says something I want to remember, I try to type it out as soon as I can after session. Then I can refer back to it when I need to.

Good for you for asking!! Even better that he is willing to do so!

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I have a "note" on my iPad that I call "T-isms"; when she says something I want to remember, I try to type it out as soon as I can after session. Then I can refer back to it when I need to.

Good for you for asking!! Even better that he is willing to do so!

And EVEN better...he told me it was a good idea yesterday.

[lostmyway21]

LOL. I totally frustrated him today. He thought I meant about me writing it, and I was like ughhh no, YOU. Then we went back and forth for a minute...I won. He ended up writing out a breathing exercise for me to use when im triggered. Its a start.

[skeksi]

When T says something that is particularly revolutionary to how I view something, I ask to pause for a moment so I can write it down. I keep these in various places (especially my journal) that I can access when I am in a panic.

lostmyway, good for you for asking for something you needed.

[Starlightembers]

lostmyway, just wanted to say that sounds like an awesome idea and I'm glad you were able to ask your T. Now that I am about to terminate with my own, I think I may ask him for something similar next session. Thanks for the idea.

As for things I have from T, I tend to keep his business card with me and I also have this...uh, curtain clip that he used to keep his curtain up. I always used to fidget with them in session and he eventually said I could just keep one.

[ECHOES]

I have one of my first appointment cards. It is her very light rose colored business card that she wrote the day, date, and time on

Good for you for asking! I find my T's emails to be really comforting and helpful too. I also keep his business card in my wallet and I hang onto a couple of magazine clippings he gave me...those are meaningful because I know he was thinking of me when he was reading and cutting them out for me

[PurplePaisley]

I have a really uplifting voicemail with a lot of gentle reminders. My t's voice is like klonopin x1000 and I immediately chill when I hear her voice.