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#1
Jan 18, 2012, 01:18 PM
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It's been a month since my last p-doc appointment. I usually go every other week. Between holidays and a host of other things, it's just been that long. Life got in the way.
Much has happened in this relatively short period of time, some good, some bad, some ominous. I don't even know where to begin, don't know how to prioritize, don't know what to say. I'll figure it out, I'll open my mouth and it'll all come out just fine. I'm dreading the part of reporting denial and lapsing into old thinking and behaviors. I feel shame and guilt. I hate for her to know, it's as if I have let her down or I have failed. Often, I "work on my issues" out of a desire to please her. Old behaviors, I know. Part of my chameleon talents *she says with disgust. I wish I could wipe shame and guilt out of my merry little Catholic, Baptist reared, bullied and sexually/physically abused life. The learning disability and my homosexuality hasn't helped my self esteem either. I only have moments of pride in who I am and today isn't the day. 
__________________
 notz |
 Anonymous37917, Perna, roads
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#2
Jan 18, 2012, 01:36 PM
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Quote:
Raised Baptist. Bullied. Emotionally, verbally, and spiritually abused. Bisexual. Shame and guilt. People pleaser. Chameleon traits. More shame and guilt. I empathize, notz. 
__________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau |
 notz
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#3
Jan 18, 2012, 02:25 PM
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Look on the bright side of your shame/guilt background; you don't have a Jewish mother?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| notz
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#4
Jan 18, 2012, 02:29 PM
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Very funny, Perna!!!
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notz |
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#5
Jan 18, 2012, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau |
| notz
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#6
Jan 18, 2012, 07:10 PM
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I hope tomorrow is your day!
  It's hard going back after a longer than usual period of time, no matter what the reason for the long time in between. I think the tension of seeing her again is working on you. I like your plan to just go and talk about what bubbles to the top. That means you can can let go of everything and just let it flow when you see her!
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| notz
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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