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#1
Jan 16, 2012, 09:46 PM
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I mean, if I go in there and tell T that I realize I need to stop pushing him away, he can actually help me with that? Because I have no idea how to do it. I can barely keep a hold on the fact that I need/want to do so.
There's an annoying paradox here. I need help. How can he help me if every 5 mins I go all whacko and convince myself that I don't need his help? UGH.   
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 Anonymous33425, bluemountains, lostmyway21, purple_fins
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 roads, yang0868
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#2
Jan 16, 2012, 09:52 PM
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Maybe in that 5 minutes something, even small, will stick and build on the next 5 minutes and so forth. Or at least that is what I tell myself. If it all came at once, I would be washed away so I can only handle the little bits. And, or so I tell myself, it gives the t a good balance between those like me who push away and others who pull towards. We keep their work interesting.
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| pbutton
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#3
Jan 16, 2012, 09:54 PM
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pbutton, maybe the sheer act of forcing yourself to continue going in the face of an almost overwhelming desire to push the T away is, in and of itself, healing.
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| pbutton, sittingatwatersedge
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#4
Jan 16, 2012, 10:06 PM
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my longtime T used to say that the longer you can stand to live with paradoxes like this, that's what it takes to change. I am just buzzed that you ARE going in there with this, I have been thinking about it all weekend. it's such a huge step. One so CANNOT change without this acceptance. It's the confucius saying of a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
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| pbutton, roads
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#5
Jan 16, 2012, 10:41 PM
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If he falls out of his chair with shock I'll be sure to take a photo to post here.
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| CantExplain
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#6
Jan 16, 2012, 10:49 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
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| pbutton
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#7
Jan 16, 2012, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
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| pbutton
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#8
Jan 16, 2012, 11:19 PM
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Quote:
__________________
roads & Charlie |
| pbutton
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#9
Jan 16, 2012, 11:33 PM
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Quote:
 i don't think ive ever even tried to crack a joke in there. i'm always so serious. LAME. 
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| pbutton
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#10
Jan 16, 2012, 11:43 PM
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Quote:
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#11
Jan 16, 2012, 11:45 PM
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Quote:
 Pbutton...I think you T can help you with this problem if you just tell him. Regarding the thread title...no...T's are human and their knowledge is finite. For example, I would never take fashion advice from my T. She can match her clothing and has a few outfits I like; but some of the things she wears makes me cringe. I'd love to take her shopping and give her a makeover! She took her wig off recently to show me how her hair was growing back. She's naturally blonde and her wig is a blonde bob with some fringe bangs. She normally has it combed down in "perfect bob formation". When she put the wig back on, it was fluffed out. I tousled it a bit and told her she should wear it that way because it looked more natural. I've had 4 sessions since then and she's worn it the way I showed her for 3 out of the 4. Sorry...totally off topic really, but my meds are kicking in and I should go to bed! 
__________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau |
| pbutton
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#12
Jan 16, 2012, 11:49 PM
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Yay for you pbutton!!!
 It is so cool reading threads where people are changing themselves the way they want to like this. I think that just telling your t that this is what you're thinking will let him help you. It will let him understand how well you understand what you need to do. So he can better understand how to encourage and guide you to keep doing it. |
| pbutton
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#13
Jan 17, 2012, 06:38 AM
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Hi Pbutton,
I don't really have any advice. I am just enjoying this thread because of all of the philosophy and humor it is supplying! Good luck in getting your t to treat your needs and lack of needs! Maybe if you only feel you need him half the time, he can reduce his fee by half???? Bluemountains
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| pbutton, rainbow_rose
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#14
Jan 17, 2012, 09:06 AM
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I think people naturally oscillate, like fans, back and forth, back and forth. Yet the air gets moved around and we feel better.
Go figure. Anne |
| pbutton
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#15
Jan 17, 2012, 09:09 AM
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Quote:
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#16
Jan 17, 2012, 10:50 AM
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I want to do this. Mostly. lol Then I start thinking that T will somehow be pleased by my decision and I get grossed out.
 I'm back to not wanting him to be pleased. UGH. I don't go until next Monday afternoon so I guess I have some time to get accustomed to it.
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#17
Jan 17, 2012, 04:27 PM
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AAAAAaaaand... feeling better again. If nothing else, I can monitor the cycle of back and forth. Guess we'll see which category I fall into next time I'm sitting in the room w/T.
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#18
Jan 17, 2012, 04:37 PM
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But you didn't use to realize this! That's progress. You can't just suddenly stop pushing him away, you first have to see the problem then he and you start to catch you in instances where you are doing it and "fix" that and eventually the time between the doing and catch gets shorter and shorter until you think of it but don't do it and, finally, you don't even think of doing it!
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| pbutton
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#19
Jan 17, 2012, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#20
Jan 18, 2012, 12:22 AM
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The answer to the OP is a resounding "NO". They can't help you with anything. You have to know the answers yourself. The therapist is not allowed to teach you anything.. they just use their little tricks to coax you into teaching yourself. And that is great if you know the answers. But if you don't .... you're stuffed. The T isn't allowed to give you any advice whatsoever unless you are a risk to yourself or others (in which case they will schedule you). But its all on our shoulders, basically. That's what I have learnt in my 4 years of therapy and 4 years of university.
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#21
Jan 18, 2012, 12:43 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
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| pbutton
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#22
Jan 18, 2012, 06:27 PM
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Quote:
It is plausible that T can't tell you anything new about yourself. But they can and do teach skills and new ways of thinking.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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