Coffee? Tea? Or therapy?

Ew, you guys! My T uses disposable cups. Dang.

I think it's just what you are used to, SAWE. You'll get used to the new T's way of doing things. There might be some things you like that she does differently. And if it makes you uncomfortable to accept food or beverages from her, you can decline. You used the word "relax". Maybe when you are more relaxed with her, you will feel OK about having coffee together. I think it's possible to do coffee, tea, and therapy.

I always bring my own water bottle to therapy--I am a water addict! My T has offered me tea before several times. He has the tea bags, sugar, and paper cups, and he boils water in a plug-in pot. Once he bought me tea at the cafe elsewhere in the building and brought it to his office for me (nice surprise!). To me, it has felt good when he offers me tea. Like a warm expression of caring. Once, I had had a really hard thing happen in my life and he knew about it before I arrived. I had not eaten or slept in over a day, but I made it to therapy. He gave me a large slice of carrot cake from his lunch and made me tea. It tasted so good--I was ravenous. Best carrot cake ever! My T also eats his lunch during our session sometimes. I don't mind. He asks me if it's OK and sometimes offers me something from his lunch, but I usually decline. I'm glad he feels comfortable enough with me to do that. I think with a brand new client, he might not.

When I am paying him the huge amount I do and have been for several years (100% out of pocket), I do not feel obligated at all. He gets a ton of money from me. Accepting tea from him occasionally is in no way obligating for me. Maybe it's just part of what I am paying for! Really, how I look at it is that my T is a nice guy and cares for me and so he offers me tea on occasion. I think what would make me feel obligated to him is if he suddenly decided to not charge me for our sessions. That would feel very uncomfortable.

Yeah, who knows? Maybe it's whiskey! Make no assumptions.

My T and I always have a snack together. One of us brings something to share, like homemafe cookies, cake, pudding, etc or we might go down the street for a burger or ice cream. T usually pays when we go out.

Here's a weird thing in my life, my best friend sees the same T and he has offered her snacks before, but has never offered me. I think it has something to do with how tiny her ***** is compared to my giant one, but I try not to fixate on it.

WELL maybe he likes a little junk in the trunk and he's trying to fatten her up. I'm just saying, silver lining.

But in seriousness maybe it has something to do with the time of day that people are seen?

My T doesn't do coffee/tea/snacks, but he has given me bottled water during a coughing fit, and lets me bring coffee or tea (and drink it). I know other morning patients bring coffee as well. My T is aware of what I will be like without coffee, and is thus wise to allow it.

I never even thought they might try to tell a client that the client could not bring in their own beverage. Now I kind of want to take in a beverage I don't really want to drink just to show I can.

Haha! This sounds exactly like something I would do.

As for whether it's disallowed by some, I really don't know, but given the huge spectrum of styles even just represented on this board, I wouldn't be surprised if some therapists frowned on bringing beverages. There seem to be all sorts of frowned-upon things that make no sense in normal life.