Showing T personal records

I often have problems remembering, or believing abuse in my past was true...sometimes I get very deeply confused...

and..Today I was rumaging through my mother's file cabinet and found ...probably a treasury of reportcards and records all on me..

Every reportcard from Kindergarten to 12th grade says I was 2 years below my grade and that I was struggling, doing badly, didnt follor directions..daydreamed often, couldnt concentrate.

I had no idea I took Seroquel... my mother would always say "come, take your crazy pill you crazy lunatic" and she would shake the pill in my face..usually when I was screaming because she had beaten me senseless and all I could do was scream in despair for what seemed like forever....she told people that I was crazy ....
I read what Seroquel was used for on my file and it says *treatement for psychotic disorders* Im psychotic???? what????

...I was thinking debating on whether I should show my T my personal records...from kindergarten up until senior year high school...all the bad comments and the therapists my mother made me see...I even had a psychological evaluation that used the word "disturbing" over and over again...

Do u think I should show all this to my T
do u think shed lock me up for being prescribed something for psychotic disorders? (shes a college T..will I get kicked out of college?)

No, I do not think she will kick you out of college. And yes, I do think you should show it to her, especially if it will make you feel more validated. I can relate to you because of things that happened to me with my dad and I have just now started talking about them and I get very confused and feel like I am lying and not telling T the truth. If I had records it would feel like I had something concrete (ie not doing well in school, etc.) that would validate me and my memories. Plus I do think it would be helpful for her to see your background.

I agree with frank, your therapist can't kick you out of school, an it will help your therapist understand what has happend in your life

I dont know if Ide actually have the guts to do it. but I really want to deep down inside, it makes me feel validated.....

I found that in the file there are 3 different cases against my father and mother for child maltreatement...that were later labeled as *unfounded*. I mean they are old ,closed cases now..from 2000, 2001, and 2005

If I show her those and she nkows im living at home with my mother? do u think shell take legal action? even if the cases are closed? and I told her my mom isnt hurting me anymore?

I can understand your reluctance.

I suggest you take this a step at a time. See how your T responds.

Maybe start with the school reports.
If that's OK, move on to the pills.
Only show the abuse files when your T has won your trust.

I think that is GREAT advice.

If you are over 18, there aren't any legal actions your T could take against your parents. If the reports were closed, then there is nothing else that can be done with those incidents. Your T wont kick you out of school because of something in your past.

I think Cantexplain is right; you should take this step by step for your own comfort. My only input (as a medical provider) would be that you should start with talking about the pills. I think this would be a good start for you, since it isn't really about you directly- think of it as just some medication someone prescribed you- and also b/c I think it would help her.

I second what everyone else has said. A school therapist has no power to kick you out of school or your home. All she's gonna want is to do what's best for you. And you have A LOT of say in that!

My only concern would be the fact that you still live with you mother. When i addressed the issue of abuse I had to take it very slowly. I had to be super careful because i still lived with my abuser, and I had to make sure it was VERY clear that I was no longer in any kind of danger. (the abuse had already ended) I think if I ever hinted that there was any kind of present risk he would immediately take action. He really needed to clearly know this before I could come out with all the details.

thnk u everybody. This really helped me.