So I called T on Tuesday , I was debating on flying home my brother was diagnosed with cancer. I have 7 siblings and had not really talked about this one and her response was , are you close you havent mentioned him. She told me to tell her if I go. I called on Wednesday and cancelled my appts for Thursday and Monday as i went home. I called her on Sunday to get an appt for Tuesday if possible, as I was going out of town on Tuesday for work and would-be gone all week. T said I thought you went home, I did I said. All I have is Tuesday at 3... Ok ill take it. Are you sure, was the response, what about work? I said no worries and explained I was leaving to go out of town. Fast forward.... Session,what can I help you with. I give the run down of the week etc.... I ask do I need therapy? I feel like I am getting nowhere. We talk about that and it gets into my need for structure a plan a road map. She tells me that I push people away intentionally ,I already knew I pushed people away i told her that, I disagree its intentional,I think it just happens. She tells me of clients she has seen for years and they are just now opening up.i thought I did I told T everything.. T said I don't cry a bunch and I brush things off.. No ****, I think. I tell T she has seen me cry more then anyone has. I tell her I hate the whole , what do you want to talk about... She tells me to relax. Times up... Wanna set up another session? Yes i respond, we need to talk about this again. T says no we are not, I am not talking about the process anymore with you. maybe therapy isnt for you but hey you gave it a shot. I said ok maybe I don't need an appointment. Driving to my hotel I call and leave a message " of course I need therapy , it's painfully obvious... Maybe we aren't a good match and don't work well together.. If you think i am using this as an excuse to push you away then tell me... Otherwise I need a referral. I was hoping she would call me. But nope, when I asked her today to tell me I need therapy she said, I'm not an ambulance chaser. WTF? I am expecting a letter in the mail in the next few days. I hate her right now, I was infuriated when I left. I have told that woman more then anyone ever! She mentions something about having certain clients she " holds back on" they are to fragile to hear truths... I said you have been pretty direct with me.. She makes a face that leads me to think she disagrees. I can't email or call, we can't talk about transference or the process ... I can't ask if she likes me or if she's mad at me... Will I have this issue with the next T? It's like she thinks I'm holding out or playing a game or trying to manipulate her. I am trying , I am so trying but apparently I am not doing it right. I just want to be helped and a little sympathy wouldn't hurt sometimes. She seems so mean to me all the time... I know feelings aren't facts but how am I supposed to know the truth if she won't tell me? Will I run into This issue again? I am going to interview new T's and be upfront about my need for reassurance and apparent inability to trust. I asked T once if I was a difficult client she said no, I make it difficult. She told me today it would dome good to tell my parents off, I wonder if that applies to her too? Ugggg I hate that I trusted her to help me and it's caused me more misery then help. She said it wasn't me personality that makes people leave... But then what is it? She tells me she sees things in my behavior but then won't tell me what it is... It's like a game she has the answers and I have to guess them! Why can't she just tellme what's wrong? It's infuriating! By the way she charged me for both missed sessions Even though I cancelled at least one 24 hours in advance. Thank you for letting me rant... Happy Valentines day to all.

[growlycat]

I really really really think the issue is on her end. You are in the middle of a family crisis and she pulls this??? Not the time to talk about "maybe therapy isn't for you" bs.

From your previous posts she sounds VERY uncomfortable with transference and the "process". I have never heard of a T saying "no more talk about the process".

I know your region is a tough one to find the right T but I hope you can start looking.
I'm really sorry to read about your brother.

[growlycat]

BTW when someone says they have a very sick family member, I think it would be rude for anyone to say "are you close, you never mentioned him?"

Someone said something similar to me when a family member died, like it was somehow OK that we weren't close!!!!

Growly doesn't like your T at all!!!

[growlycat]

Arrrghhhhh!! Sorry one more thing

"I'm not an ambulance chaser" ?????????
What is that even supposed to mean????????

Wishing you hugs, wishing her hemorrhoids!!! Lots.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by growlycat

BTW when someone says they have a very sick family member, I think it would be rude for anyone to say "are you close, you never mentioned him?"

Someone said something similar to me when a family member died, like it was somehow OK that we weren't close!!!!

Growly doesn't like your T at all!!!

I don't know the whole story, of course, but it is a legitimate therapeutic observation. T points out that I hardly ever mention my father.

Not the best time to raise it perhaps.

[likelife]

Yeah, I give this whole thing a giant WTF? Who charges for appointments missed due to a family emergency? Especially when one was cancelled more than 24 hours in advance.

[capecodfish]

An "ambulance chaser" is a term that is used to describe a professional desperate for clients. You usually see it pertaining to lawyers persuading clients to sue even if the case isn't strong. So basically she's saying she doesn't want you to stay in therapy for HER benefit.

I say it's time to find a new therapist. Don't blame yourself or get roped into the "client is pushing the therapist away" excuse. Sometimes you have to put the responsibility where it belongs - on the professional.