A T's own history

I've thought about this comparison between my first T and yours pretty often, CantExplain, when you were discussing your fairly blank slate T. I think the difference may be that I really was DONE with therapy and I wasn't going back at the point I told him it wasn't working for me. It was a situation where I was done and not coming back, but telling him before I left what an a**H*** I thought he was, and how I felt like he had ruined my life. Maybe your T knew you weren't really leaving despite her lack of disclosure, and my T knew I was really and truly done and walking away from therapy, probably for good.

My T has shared over the years and it always makes me feel like I am not alone. I also know that she understands and that feels really good.

I hear you on this and understand why it feels this way. When I was between therapists (after 1st T left I tried searching thru 9 people for a new T) I saw several for short periods who would reveal nothing of themselves. It made it VERY hard to open up to them. I felt like they were total strangers, and didn't want to talk to them. I don't do well with the whole "blank slate" thing.
My new T however has told me a lot about herself and I've seen her go through some really hard struggles the past year. And since she's been open with me about it, that has made it lots easier for me to open up to her.

And no...it isn't anything YOU'RE doing wrong at all--its probably just your particular T's policy to not share anything.

I had to remind T that it was my reaction to an event that mattered not his after he misunderstood something and went mildly ballistic. I am begining to see much fragiliy in him-perhaps too much to be of help to me.