Things you wish your T would NOT do:

I just have to tell about a therapist I had years ago. She was most kind although rather passive, so it was nice when she finally said stuff. Some of it was good, some was... IDK...

It was when I still was so depressed I could barely drag myself out of home. It was really bad. So I was quite happy with having access to the Internet where I could spend time in a now gone chat room, and live through the days, stay alive. Since I was between meds or trial and error with meds with all "errors", I could really not have a real life even if I tried my hardest.

But my therapist thought I spent too much time online (what was keeping me alive). I asked her how much time was accurate. She said maybe 30 minutes as an absolute tops. A day. Everything else was unhealthy. She didn't get getting offline would just put me on a chair staring at a wall instead or do something bad.

Finally I asked her if she had ever been online. Because I thought her online experiences must sort of be weighed in with mine. She told me she had NEVER been online............

So she was judging this "destructive behavior" from something she was completely clueless about.

Finally she asked... When I go online to chat, does it EVER happen I meet the same person twice?

Argh!

I guess she figured everyone logged onto a gigantic chat room with no topic and spoke to whomever just to talk to someone else the day after.

You are welcome! That's a tough one. Would putting a sweater on the monitor muffle the tone? I would keep asking. And after three times ask if you can meet in another room. It's a simple matter of respect between two human beings. If he continues to discount your feelings, he's not the T for you~
Good Luck!
Velvet

Letting silence go on forever... I feel like throwing up everything he does it (meaning many time every session!). I know silence are suppose to be great to allow me to think about what's going on but the only thing I'm thinking about while in silence is: gosh, are you going to say something please!

I believe you're supposed to think and then say something. He's waiting for you to speak. You can end that silence whenever you choose. Sometimes I just say, "I don't have anything more to say on that," so that they know the topic is done.

I've learned to say "I need help talking." He'll usually ask me a new question or rephrase whatever he just asked me.

thank you sunrise and pbutton!!! It's worth trying! I love the "I need help talking"... Could save me minutes and minutes of the ackward silence I sometime feel!

wow that never occurred to me!!! Thanks Sunny!!

I dont like it when shes stern with me when im in crisis mode..when im crying...frantic..
I dont like it when she has that "MOM" voice like shes gonna punish me.
I dont want her to be scary and mean...

I go to therapy to yell at my mother, who has been dead for fifteen years.

Yelling at people who are not there is legitimate, in my opinion.

I tried one who did this to me. I quit after three times of this. Now one of the first questions I ask a prospective therapist is what they do in that sort of situation because I will never pay another to be like that again.

I hate it when I feel like my T is sending me mixed signals...