[become_UNmasked]

you have no idea what kind of can of worms you opened when you called what happened to me molestation! (that would make it real)

you have no idea how I feel terrified of allowing you into my bubble. no one is allowed into my bubble. no one is allowed to see my emotions. you called me out on masking how i feel... told me i am good at it... why not take that as a clue that i don't want you in my bubble.

i know and realize i'm in therapy for a reason and eventually will have to allow you into my bubble but for now.. stay out.

i find you triggering. i find therapy is working... i find i want to give up and quit because this is so painful.

i want to know everything isn't a big deal. i can't tell you these things. what would that mean? that you'd be in my bubble... my bubble is my safe place.

i have so many emotions.. i feel like puking instead of feeling.... you do this to me. you bring up these emotions. i'd rather feel hunger than deal with this.

i feel like i can't do this. tell me i don't have to do this...

[mcl6136]

most people don't find they want to give up because it is so painful.

most people simply give up because they worry it will be painful.

This means you are ahead of the game, in my view.

You can do this. Hang in there. It does get easier.

[become_UNmasked]

should i email this to my thearpist?

[pegasus]

Yes, please share with your therapist.

[FourRedheads]

You did a very good job describing your feelings. Do you like to write? I am impressed. I think you absolutely should email this to your T.

Your post is very meaningful to me right now. I just really get this; feeling very similar in my therapy. I wish I could write these things out so beautifully like you're done here.

[become_UNmasked]

i love to write. thank you for the compliments. i just wrote however it came to my mind.. i'm sure you can write something just the same!!! i'm waiting on a reply from therapist to see if emailing him is crossing some kind of boundry.. we'll see

[WePow]

Bless your heart. It is very difficult to have words put onto those things that wounded us so deeply. It takes great courage to allow someone into your bubble with you. Your T is there to help you find your way through the pain and into a place that is much brighter. So be honest. Be authentic.

[sweepy62]

hi become, i suggest you email this to him it is the way through therapy the therapeutic journey and it can be painful because u really are opening a can of worms a can of worms which has kept you from freeing your soul , i know what you are feeling because i feel the same way and i might write a dear therapist letter myself. He might be going to quickly for u u havent been with him but a short time, tell him to pace himself, he wont know unless u tell him, you are in therapy to feel better and regain yourself not to feel like you have to quit i hope u take this into advice as well as everyone who replyed to you. Love u and hugs become

[become_UNmasked]

"Never Alone"

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

[become_UNmasked]

dear therapist,
you haven't emailed me back yet.. i presume you only check your email on weekdays. i'll see you monday so i think you won't answer my email, but you'll wait to see me then. do you realize how hard it was for me to reach out even that far as to ask if i can email you between sessions? now i'm faced with most likely having to read my entry to you out loud. i think i might puke. vulnerability is not my strong suit... i couldn't sleep last night nor will i be able to the next two nights... why....

why do i have all this anxiety? all these emotions pop up? did you know it would happen after emdr? did you know i'd have this reaction? was it because of emdr, or because of the m word? GIVE ME RELIEF