Where did you go?

My T asked me this today after I told her I partially missed what she was saying. I had heard a part of what she was asking me, but then spaced out on other parts.

When I attempted to respond, I profusely apologized for spacing out and asked her to repeat it (it's the first time I admitted to it...normally I act like I heard everything and a respond with a general comment), which she did AFTER asking "where did you go?"

I honestly have no clue what happened or where I went. I quickly answered her question with an "I don't know" and proceeded to ask her to repeat her question. I honestly had no clue where my mind wandered off to. The only thing I knew was that I missed part of what she was saying.

How do you answer that question "where did you go?"? I have no clue what happened or where my mind wandered to. What am I supposed to say?

I get that sometimes.
I don't think T ever really expects an answer.

It's just a polite way of saying, "you don't feel present right now."

That was my T's favorite phrase for a while with me. It is the T's way of acknowledging that they saw you were not with them mentally. If a client was just thinking something over, they will say "Oh I was just thinking about what you said. Blah blah blah." But if the client has dissociated, there will be a response like what you said. That question is the best way to get to the bottom line.

Sometimes I just say I got lost inside my head which seems enough of an answer

I get asked that question. Sometimes I am just thinking. Sometimes I am disassociating. When it is disassociating I do not know.

My T asks this a lot, and I never know how to respond. Sometimes I do legitimately space out and am embarrassed by that, and other times I've just gotten quiet for whatever reason and she thinks she's lost me, but I'm really just thinking but hate the "what are you thinking right now?" thing too. I think some Ts need to work on being more comfortable with a little silence in sessions...

When my T notices me doing that he always says, I'm losing you aren't I? A lack of response always indicated I've begun to dissociate.

Happens to me regularly. For me it is dissociation. My T asks me if I know where I went. I never know, it is time that is lost. It's important to be honest about this happening as it can be a huge barrier to progress. However, my T knows when I'm dissociating, asking me about it just brings it into my awareness.

That happens to me quite often, especially when I'm instinctively avoiding something uncomfortable. My T knows I'm "gone" even before I realize it, although I'm getting much better at recognizing it and letting him know he's starting to lose me before I'm actually gone.
I always tell him the truth as I remember it. Sometimes my mind just goes blank, sometimes I realize I'm staring at something and thinking about that object, sometimes I'll suddenly start to think about a song and I'll hear it in my head, sometimes I'm fantasizing about someone or something... the possibilities are endless because I'm an expert at psychologically "checking out." It's helpful for him to know where I went because sometimes there's a connection between what we were talking about and where my mind went, and I don't know it until we explore it together.
Just tell her the truth as you remember it. If you have no idea, tell her. In time you will be able to recognize it even before you're actually gone.

I have always responded "out there, somewhere" because that what it seems, to some void. T always tells me that it looks like i am in a peaceful place. i dont know why but this response makes me angry. i never tell him that. how can i be peaceful, when i had to escape what he was talking to me about?

i don't think my T has ever asked me where i went.she has said don't go into your own world yet.sometimes that works.it seems like most of the time she understands that i need that space not to be there at that time. i think when i ask her to repeat what she said she is just happy i spoke and just repeats it.i think she asked once if i heard anything that she just said and i shrugged my shoulders. most times i just let it go if i don't hear something she has said. i just think she knows that sometimes it is just to much and i kind of need to experience it through a kind of filter and for the most part lets it happen.sometimes she feels i need to be there and then she pushes a little by saying my name loudly or something like come on granite do go hiding in your own world stuff like that

Dissociating doesn't always mean reliving something. There is a spectrum of dissociation ranging from things like normal daydreaming and "highway hypnosis" to extreme forms of "out of body" experiences and alternate identities.

I'd be compelled to answer: Somewhere over the rainbow?

But my T has never asked me this. In fact, I brought this very topic up this week because it happens to me all the time. I hate it. I never realize it's happening; it's so embarrassing. He didn't say it was anything to be concerned about (for me) and that it happens to almost everyone. When "stuff" gets to be too much, or too heavy, our mind needs a little break.

My T asks me this-a lot more so in the beginning than now I think he tries to get me to stay with him...I think sometimes he will notice and say "don't go away" or something like that...I remember the first time he asked me that I was embarrassed-but now I feel good in his asking