[childofyen]

I can't tell if I'm thinking with my rational mind right now. I got really upset last month when my T suggested that I might be done with therapy soon. This led to a ton of anxiety and a bit of anger. I felt like I was going to be abandoned, but I also felt like she doesn't really get me if she thinks that I'm done. So, I told her that perhaps I wasn't being clear and I tried to be more open about how much anxiety I still have in my life. And the conversation has continued over three weeks or so. Well, today she realizes that it sounds like I have an anxiety disorder.. then realizes that she knew that a year ago when I showed up, but had forgotten about it........

I feel a bit let down here. I'm disappointed that it took all of this struggling with her over the course of a year to get back to something she knew on day one.

Also, when we were discussing something kind of painful today.. she laughed. I'm sure it did sound silly. I know my thoughts are irrational. Maybe she was trying to break the tension. I don't know. But it really hurt my feelings. I was trying to be serious about something that is hugely difficult for me to talk about and she laughed.

I feel like it's time to move on but I don't want to act impulsively or make a decision on pure emotion. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone that my own therapist doesn't seem to know me at all.

[vanessaG]

Hmm my 1st thought here is that she laughed at something that yeas hard for you to talk about. Maybe she WAS trying to break the tension, maybe she wasn't but either way I'd feel like crap too if that happened to me.

I've felt like you pretty often. If I were you I would talk to her about her forgetting how bad your anxiety was and how it took so long for her to remember and then def bring up the laughing issiue. I think if you bring these up to her in next session, you can see her response and maybe that'll help you decide... I would define my bring it up to her before you quit.

[wintergirl]

It sounds like your T had an off day (or an off couple of weeks) to me. I would definitely talk to her about how you felt after the session, but as long as this isn't a constant pattern of behavior for her, I would try to still work with her.

I'm sorry she laughed when you were trying to tell her something serious. I have a terrible habit of laughing/smiling at inappropriate times (especially if I'm nervous, scared or uncomfortable). Or your T may have been trying to break the tension, as you mentioned.

But either way, I understand why you're hurting (and I would feel the same way).

[stopdog]

I would ask what she was doing and give your examples. She may or may not have an explanation - and based upon that explanation then a decision could be made.

[unaluna]

I think this is where it is helpful for us to know a little more about T. It is things like this that would make me think T is "not smart enough" to work with me. My T has done that laughing thing. And I realized yesterday that if he had been able to get through to me on certain issues when I started back with him 5 years ago, I might be in much better financial shape right now. But I couldn't HEAR him 5 years ago - it's only NOW that the tangled web of lies that was my heart and my life has loosened, that I can see what he has known all along. So now comes the work of rebuilding my disaster of a life. You saw the food thread? I told my T what I wrote - what am I waiting for? He had this "aware" look on his face as he repeated that to me, like he's waiting for me to catch up. There is a lot of - what's the expression - narcissistic injury involved in T. It IS humiliating to realize you - I - have effed up and they've just been sitting there watching us do it. But they haven't just been sitting there - they warned us (me, anyway!) - I just couldn't hear them. THIS deafness is definitely inherited!

[Sannah]

I hope you tell your T that her laugh hurt. Your T only knows what you show her or talk about. If you had been less anxious during session and you weren't talking about it, she would not know. Good work for telling her all this a few weeks ago.