[Elli-Beth]

Ok, so I've reached the point where I may be ready to talk about the worst of it, but my speech still gets in the way when it comes to a few words and phrases. Surely I'm not the only one. How have others here managed this?

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by Elli-Beth

Ok, so I've reached the point where I may be ready to talk about the worst of it, but my speech still gets in the way when it comes to a few words and phrases. Surely I'm not the only one. How have others here managed this?

I journal what I need to say.
Bluemountains

[sconnie892]

I was just having the same thought! I was thinking through my last few sessions and realized I have difficulty verbalizing my thoughts and emotions for t. It is very frustrating for me and I am guessing it frustrates t too, although she doesn't show it. Thanks for posting this. I will be interested in reading what others write.

[rainbow8]

My hard words are probably not your hard words, but the way I did it with my "anatomy" words was by reading them. Once before that I started a sentence many times, stopped when I got to "those hard words", and finally got it out. I think before any of those ways I told her what I wanted to say, without saying the words. I asked her if it was okay to say anything, and she reassured me that it was. I didn't look at her. Those are some of my ways; I'm sure others will give you more ideas.

[Elli-Beth]

I can write them down, it's verbalizing that's the issue. I guess I know what Monday's first question is going to be...

[critterlady]

That's an excellent question. I'm having the same trouble. I've been rehearsing the hard words, but I still can't picture myself saying them to my T. He's been awesome about not pushing me, though.

I think at some point, I'm just going to have to say it. I think the best way for me will be to start easy and work my way to the hard part.

[rainbow8]

Well, I would start to talk about something and get to one of those words and tell my T that I didn't know what word to use. She sometimes filled in the blanks, or I used a general word instead of being specific. It's been kind of gradual that I've been able to say certain words without feeling like I want to die. Reading what I wrote was a different experience altogether. Talking to her directly was and still is much harder.

We draw pictures, make collages,& attempt to write.

I wrote a story about it, as if it happened to someone else, and then e-mailed to him just this weekend.

[WantingtoHeal]

I can't say the words either. I have written some of them. I can't even write most of them. I use *** in many of them. I don't want her to say them either. I shut down with the very mention of certain words. I just tend to avoid talking about those specific areas/events.

I'm not exactly sure how this is to be dealt with. I know I'll have to work on it.

For me, I'll probably have to cover my face and put it down in my lap, close my ears, and say it very quietly.

I've been so amazed at the people here who write some of the words so freely. It really helps me to see such openness and ease of discussion. I'd like to be able to post the scary words.

I guess it just comes down to courage and just doing it, just going right ahead through it. Could you turn your chair around?? that's another thing I'd like to do..or crawl under the desk.

Sorry I'm not much help. Please keep us posted.

In our family law class, one of the professor's absolute requirements was that we use the correct words for things. We all knew the legal definitions of various words and expressions and were required to use them. One class period consisted of the class repeating anatomical words for the sexual body parts and the correct expressions for the various types of sexual acts until the last person stopped blushing. At some point, I desperately wanted to say, "Look, just tutor that guy in private because he is NEVER going to stop blushing and I NEVER thought I would be this bored thinking about sex." However, I thought that cause the guy in question undue embarrassment.

I can use the words until I am trying to use them in connection with what happened to me. Then, when I finally can articulate what happened, I find myself lapsing into attorney mode and using the correct words, but with no emotion, no connection between the words and the emotions behind them. The emotions come boiling out while I sleep.

[unaluna]

Oh, interesting. I'm always in attorney mode with my family, that's a good way to describe it. Always on the defensive, disconnecting feelings from words. Trying to REconnect them in therapy has been "trying" (sorry!).

[Perna]

Keep saying them to yourself, draw/paint them, find talismans that remind you of them and carry them around, "make friends" with them and let them get closer to you (as they actually are, you have just been psychologically pushing them away all this time, not wanting them but that hasn't worked/helped), imagine them as they are, just words and old memories of the past.