My T has been back for 3 weeks and she has to keep rescheduling our session she just texted me& said we cant meet today after all cuz some big problems. Going on at her house. Didnt say what. Every time she does this i panic because what if we never see her again? She may at some point have to go back to where she was for 6 months to take care of family again. Since she got back i keep having panic attacks that shes leaving us again (she knows). And last week we had such a huge breakthrough in a session, talked about something huge and scary. So naturally now weve been trying to hang on til today ... And of course it gets cancelled.

I hate all this.

Wish i hadnt trusted my T on thursday. i feel so dumb. Too vulnerable. And i had a really bad weekend... Eas counting the hoyrs to get to todays session. I feel so stupid.

She has to leave again

[anilam]

Michelle, I'm so sorry. I know your hurting and I don't even know what to say to make it better ( or at least not make it worse)

However, I really think you need to find a new T. Yes, I've read your posts about not wanting to. She is not the only one who can help you though it may feel that way. It seems to me that she is going through some personal crises and doesn't have the time and energy to offer you the support you need and deserve. I love my T, but honestly, if I were in your situation I would find a new one or probably quit therapy cause I don't need it that badly anymore (after 5 years of twice a week therapy). Please consider that.

[karebear1]

(((((sarahmichelle))))) I'm sorry she has to go again. I'm telling you this is one horrific time you'er going through. Is there really no way she can stay?

[InTherapy]

SarahMichelle,

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It hurts so bad when we are looking forward to the support our T's give us, and then something happens.

I know it's hard when you just had a breakthrough and now you are feeling so alone.

You are not alone; we are here for you.

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

[granite1]

Originally Posted by SarahMichelle

She has to leave again

wow i hope it isn't for as long this time.wow i feel horrible for you.i know you tried to see another T and it didn't work out do you think you could try again with another

[FourRedheads]

I really feel for you.

[confuseduk]

Sarah Michelle I'm so sorry this has happened. Do you know when and how long for? So unfair we're here for you

[Wren_]

i was so glad she was back home again and now to leave; i'm so sorry

Oh Sarah, I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry

[healed84]

Oh no... So sorry to hear this.

Originally Posted by anilam

However, I really think you need to find a new T. Yes, I've read your posts about not wanting to. She is not the only one who can help you though it may feel that way. It seems to me that she is going through some personal crises and doesn't have the time and energy to offer you the support you need and deserve.

As hard as it is to fathom or hear this suggestion, I really agree with anilam. You'd written a few weeks ago that some of the inside kids had really regressed over the 6 months and you on the whole had as well. It's not fair to you what's happening. It's not worth having panic attacks or being scarred fearing that she will leave you again. Now your T ethically needs to provide you with names of other therapists.

I was in a similar situation to you 5 years ago. I finally found an AMAZING T whom I absolutely adored--she was my first therapy connection after about 8 therapists and I thought she would be the only one it could ever happen with. Then, her husband became gravely ill - advanced lung cancer. At that time we were seeing each other twice per week and into some pretty deep stuff. She'd been missing appointments, out of town at one point for two weeks while he had surgery at a top hospital several states away. I needed more than she could give me, even if she and I had an amazing connection. She said that it was the hardest decision that she ever had to make as a therapist, but she told me that she wouldn't be able to work with me anymore because she wasn't able to give me what I needed. It was awful, terrible - I cried straight for 24 hours, hyperventilating, everything. This was in August and her husband died the following July after rounds of chemo and withering away. As mad as I was at her for this decision, I quickly realized that it was the right one and I appreciated her putting my needs first - she knew that she simply couldn't be the therapist I needed and it caused her pain to make this decision because she deeply cared for and loved me and she was pained that it would cause me great anxiety and sadness. It took a while - I cried everyday, missed her terribly, had to repeat to myself over and over "T loves me." But then when I could let go of her, I found another amazing T - different, but also amazing. I thought I'd NEVER have another therapy connection, I thought of giving up therapy, everything, but my life went on and I got better. As much as I wish that we could have continued together, I thank her profusely for having made such a tough decision that served me best. As my new T made me repeat to her 20 times in one session "Letting go is not losing." Good luck. You will get through this.

She called.
Shes on a flight out tonight.
I cant write right now

[peridot28]

Originally Posted by SarahMichelle

She called.
Shes on a flight out tonight.
I cant write right now

I am so, so, sorry, SarahMichelle. I know you are in complete pain, right now. I would be. I wish I could just come and hug you. I hate that you have to go through this, yet again. Do you have any idea how long she will be gone this time?

I wonder if her relative took a turn for the worse and they are now counting down the days until the end. I know that doesn't bring you comfort, but maybe that means this time she won't have to be gone as long, hopefully not 6 months.

Are you taking care of her dog again while she's gone? Please feel free to PM me anytime you need someone to listen. I can't imagine at all how you're feeling, because the farthest my therapist has gone was to Mexico on a missions trip, but it was still terrifying for me to have her that far away. I hope you hear from her soon.

Again, I'm sorry you have to experience this again.

[Luce]

SarahMichelle, I am so very, very sorry. I know nothing we say can ease your heartbreak and fear right now. Lean on those closest to you.

[roads]

Cancelled?

Leave????!


??!

Leave??!?!?!?!

She can't do that to you.
How can she do that to you?

Where are you?

How are you?

Roadie

[sweepy62]

im sorry but as much as it hurts she is not helping u not intentionally therapists need to focus on clients and she has too much going on u need to find a new t and process with the new t everything that happened with the old t

yes her family has taken a turn for the worse and she needs to get there quickly so she's already on her way there.
shouldd be back end of march, but... you know how much i'm believing that.

any discussions about finding a new T may as well end though, because its not going to happen. thanks though, because i do understand those comments come out of concern for me and all. i appreciate it, but i am sticking with this T. i tried 10 therapists before i finally found her. we had a huge breakthrough on thursday (emotional blow out as well) and... i guess you have to just know our relationship and how much she helps (in session, when she's HERE)... it makes the hard times worth it...does that make sense?
anyway, even if it doesn't, i can't debate it right now

right now i am numb...dissociated... listening to the inside voices

did i already write that she called? we talked about 30 minutes. i know she's trying hard. she can't help what happens...

anyway, please just pray for her relative...this long struggle really needs to end, its time for her to be done with the fight and just go to heaven where she can be with God

oh and i still have her dog, didn't give him back from last time yet-- she's only been home 2 or 3 weeks

cant wont try another T again
it was too hard alst time
not worth it
i'll just wait for her to come home
stupid or not.

Waiting is not stupid. People just want what is best for you. Hugs. Stay safe. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My heart just hurts... It was a bad weekend. I felt like a freak. I had to leave a retreat early b/c i couldnt stand it with all the flashbacks& memories coming up. We were counting down the hours til we could go see T today.
Hard.

[Bill3]

Sarah Michelle, I am sorry. What are your thoughts about getting a new T, as many have suggested?

[Chopin99]

I'm so sorry SarahMichelle. I know you are heartbroken. If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me. I'll be praying for your T, her relative, and most importantly, YOU!