Ts breating.

I was in a very strange mood in therapy yesterday. Totally disconnect from it. There was silences and during one silence I could hear T breathing and it was really annoying me. Have no eye dear wat was going there!

hmmm....well T's need to breathe too ya know! Maybe you were just at the point of frustration in trying to get connected and every little thing was irritating you.

I've never noticed T's breathing sounds before. It felt somehow wrong. But then that's proberbly because I felt so disjointed inside, her rhyme wasn't matching mine.

Sometimes my PTSD just makes me hypersensitive to sound. Maybe you just became hypersensitive to sound and keyed into his breathing. I did that to his clock a few times.

I think you might be onto something here!

Yes. This. I'm very aware of any sounds T makes: breathing, shifting in her chair, the sound of her clock ticking, doors closing, etc. I need to be aware of all going on around me to be safe.

I think it's comforting and can be unsettling if I'm not feeling worthy of comfort.
Other times it can feel like the ticking clock... tick..tick..tick..talk..talk..talk.
(btw, the clock in T's room was not there last time because someone else asked for it to be removed. I had no idea what time it was. She went to put it back up for me, but it doesn't work. )
And then still other times, it's just comforting and connecting.

I would be unsettled or possibly freaked out if I heard the therapist breathing. It would mean they were way too close to me.

What Lostmyway said makes a lot of sense. Sometimes, depending on my mood-T can't win! Her breathing, the way she walks into the room, the look in her eyes, every little thing makes me wanna just go ape s**t. You could always just look at what was going on for you, during your next session.

Yeah, ditto. We were on the little chairs once, and he started breathing in my ear, and I was like, "you're breathing in my ear" and it was making me feel bad because it was reminding me of creepy dentist and eye doctor appointments and other things, and he was immediately on it, trying to guide me through it, but I wasn't ready.

This is actually easier for me with the therapist than in real life. With the therapist I can just tell her she is irritating or I am looking for a reason to go off and it seems to help or I can just go off on her. I really do not think it matters to the t. When in real life, if everyone is just pissing me off, I have to be very careful. It is much more exhausting in real life.