Transference

So I was just wondering if someone could explain this a bit for me? I have read about it online and from what I have understood, people usually experience it when some sort of "need" was not met in childhood (usually from a parent). The thing is, my parents have always been supportive so I don't think that is the case with me.

There have been a couple of teachers from high school that I remember being particularly fond of to the point where I considered them "friends" of mine. Obviously they weren't but I from some reason I felt really close to them. They were all female. I have felt the same feelings with my last T and also my current one (both female). Clearly I am not friends with any of these people because I actually know very little about them so what is going on? What are the reasons one would experience transference? Could I just simply like these people a lot or is it more than that?

Everyone experiences transference. Any time you are reminded of someone else, that's transference. With T's (and teachers) and older adults especially, we don't know much about them so our crushes on them cannot be about "them" the feelings are all coming from us and what we would like. Getting full blown angry at someone for a minor reason, that's transference; I got road rage because a coworker had cancer and I was feeling helpless so "took it out" on someone else. I called the manager of my grocery store and yelled at him because I forgot the bag with a couple cans of inexpensive cat food in it; what was he supposed to do about it? I got a clue and looked for the transference because it wasn't "like" me to do that. The term "kick the dog" has to do with transference; the guy gets yelled at by his boss and can't reply for fear he'll get fired, comes home and yells at his wife that dinner's 5 minutes late and she yells at the kid for dropping his ice cream and he kicks the dog for getting the ice cream instead of him. We cannot make our parents love and care for us the way we want to be loved and cared for and, when we are very young, can't even articulate what we want (so are less likely to get it, especially if we have non-emotionally-astute parents; you are hungry and your mother changes your wet diaper, that sort of thing) or understand why we get one thing and not the other.

So Perna, when my T recently said he didn't want to "kick the dog" while it was down? What does THAT mean? Just curious?

Retro_chic, do you think you might be experiencing transference? It's ok. It's very normal in therapy and (like Perna said) everyday life, to have transferential feelings. Often times, when we have positive feelings about someone we rarely know it is because they remind us, fondly, of someone from our past. I try to always be "curious" about the transference and ask T when I have questions. I hope you will consider discussing it with your T.