[Squirrel1983]

So....a little while ago I copied T a letter I was sending to my pdoc (post here http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=222924).

Well, my first appointment since sending that to her is this comint Tuesday and I am nervous/worried/etc. as anything about it. What is she going to say? How small am I going to feel? How am I going to explain myself? There's really nothing she can do to "help" me with it. What is going to happen?

My next appointment with pdoc is the 24th, but I'm not nervous about that one (or at least not yet anyways). I guess because I see him less often than T, so I don't "know" him as well.

Just looking for some advice to get me through Tuesday.

[stopdog]

She may want to discuss it with you. Or she may not bring it up at all and leave it to you as to whether you want to talk about it. Would discussing it "help" you. You sent it to her so there must have been some reason you did so. Perhaps discussing why you sent a copy to her rather than the contents might help?

[ECHOES]

I think it would be so relieving to get right to how uneasy you feel about sending her the letter and her feelings about it, and her response.

My T appreciates any communication, and is happy when we can talk more about it in session. Sometimes when I've revealed things to her, I worry or I think something is too trivial or whatever, and she lets me know that she appreciates anything I tell her because it helps her to know me better.

You're imagining the session as not going well. Just for the heck of it, could you imagine it going well? You say she can't do anything, but listening and accepting are things she can do

[WantingtoHeal]

Squirrel, I just read your letter and I think you did such an excellent job of it. I don't think you have anything to be nervous about. Not to minimize anything, but I could relate a great deal to your letter and thought oh I do that and don't even think about it.

I could really relate to the hygiene thing - I'm down to 2 or 3 showers a week, because I plain don't have the motivation and I no longer care. I don't clean the house at all any more. Can't even remember the last time I did that. I hire someone to come once a month. I honestly don't do much of anything any more. I hire someone to do all of my yard work too. I've never brushed my teeth twice a day. I have a major problem brushing my teeth - just can't stand it, for some reason. I do it once a day and I hate it.

You are so much better off communicating things. I think she can help you with "things." Just continue to try to tell her what you're feeling here. I know it's easier said than done. You expressed yourself so well in your writing. I know how it feels to feel small, but you did a really good job.

Not to put words in your mouth, but you may feel exposed - that is how I tend to feel after writing things. I tend to want the T to comfort me then. When they don't, it sucks. Just showing up is good and the words will come as they can.

WTH

[Squirrel1983]

Just sent an email to T explaining how I am feeling about Tuesday. Just thought it might be helpful for her to know. Not expecting a response, just sending information.

[Butterflies Are Free]

I think it's great that you let your T know you are a bit nervous about your next session. Now she knows that you feel vulnerable and can support you.

[Squirrel1983]

Got a reply from T about the email I sent saying I was nervous. She told me I worry much too much and that I have made good decisions recently and that she isn't going to judge me and doesn't think my pdoc will either. Told me to relax and enjoy the next few days. Now just to wait till Tuesday and see how it goes, I guess.

[stopdog]

I hope her response eased some of your discomfort.

[sittingatwatersedge]

hope your session goes well today.

[taylor43]

Hope you have a good session today!

[likelife]

Thinking of you today, Squirrel.

[Squirrel1983]

Session went well this morning. T and I talked through some of the issues and came up with a plan to help me with some of them. I was worried for nothing.

[stopdog]

I am glad the appointment went well.