This Thursday will be an entire month since we last saw our new counselor and we are experiencing some pretty severe anxiety and this isnt normal or usual for us. Wait-better reword that. We have experienced a lot of anxiety in the past with our ex-counselor when we knew we had "been bad" or done something wrong or knew we were going to be possibly punished by her(yes,she did punish us). But this time we cant figure out why the anxiety is so awful. Has this happened to anyone else and if so what helped? Did you know why it happened? We have only seen our new counselor 3 times and we go every 2 weeks for 3-4 hours so it is still really new. Thanks for any input♥

[SpiritRunner]

maybe you are anxious because she is new and you don't know her very well. so you aren't sure what her pattern of behavior toward you will be or how she will be over time. maybe there's some fear about her becoming like the old one, who just sounds like she was a bad T.
but if this new T has done nothing bad and has been only kind so far, remind yourself (should I say, yourselves?) of that.....use what you know to counteract what you feel.
the anxiety is normal, though, and understandable. I have felt it before too.

Therapy induces anxiety in me because we talk about difficult things. Maybe that's part of it?

yes we think fear of her turning on us may be a part of it even though so far she hasnt shown any indication if that. maybe its because its been so long and we have had so many stressful and scary things going on and its all built up?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

....we go every 2 weeks for 3-4 hours .....

TD your sessions are 3-4 HOURS long??

could that be the source of your anxiety??

What goes on for all that time? Do you really talk to the T nonstop for 3-4 hours? how on earth do you manage staying on the hot seat for all tht time?
sorry for all the questions, i am getting anxious just trying to visualize doing that.

[growlycat]

Maybe you are anxious because you don't know yet what her definition of "being bad" is?

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

TD your sessions are 3-4 HOURS long??

could that be the source of your anxiety??

What goes on for all that time? Do you really talk to the T nonstop for 3-4 hours? how on earth do you manage staying on the hot seat for all tht time?
sorry for all the questions, i am getting anxious just trying to visualize doing that.

our sessions are that long for a few reasons-one because of the nature of our problems(SRA,DID) it requires a great deal more time to work with,not that other issues arent as intense,just that there are many different parts to deal with and second is because we are only able-at this time- to see her 2x a month she wants to do as much work as possible. There is most likely periods of silence we are sure but so many fight for time to speak so the time seems to fly by mostly.

growlycat-that is a very good point! "being bad" is something we always are fearful of and since we dont know her that well yet its very possible-thanks!♥

[growlycat]

Yes! With new people, it seems like getting them upset is scary--you never know where the land mines are buried until you learn the terrain!!

[CantExplain]

When you find a new person and you like them, you go into a "honey-moon" phase when everything seems wonderful. Unfortunately, that initial buzz wears off. Maybe that's what it is?

Originally Posted by CantExplain

When you find a new person and you like them, you go into a "honey-moon" phase when everything seems wonderful. Unfortunately, that initial buzz wears off. Maybe that's what it is?

not quite sure that fits as we have only seen her 3 times but it is something to think about,thank you for the input♥

anxiety turned into black depression not doing well can we please have hugs?

[stopdog]

i am sorry it is going so hard for you right now. Can you get out, walk outside, be with others - things like that?

[WikidPissah]

we decided to try and do something to help someone out so we called cores daughter and are going to lend her some money so she can replace her ID today so she can go to the community college and talk to them,shes been approved for financial aid so she has to get the process going. hope this will help but not feeling too hopeful. thank you stopdog and wikkidpissah♥

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

we decided to try and do something to help someone out so we called cores daughter and are going to lend her some money so she can replace her ID today so she can go to the community college and talk to them,shes been approved for financial aid so she has to get the process going. hope this will help but not feeling too hopeful. thank you stopdog and wikkidpissah♥

this is a good idea, trinity. sometimes reaching outside of ourselves helps deal with the storm inside of us. I hope it goes well and is helpful.

[Perna]

I was always anxious when my T and I had been apart for a longer period of time. One doesn't know if they will still be the "same" or if all you/they have done during the time apart will have changed us/them or what.

Im sorry youre feeling bad. My sessions are 3-4 hrs long like yours and i find them helpful. We cover a lot of stuff too. I hope that over time your anxiety will lesson. Does keeping yourself busy help at all?

[CantExplain]

((TrinityDancer))

thank you so so much everyone! we have been emailing back and forth with rita-our counselor-quite a bit today and we are feeling less anxious and depressed and now have quite the list of things to work on tomorrow. still have some anxiety but its tolerable now♥