[Mike_J]

My therapist is having surgery this week, I’m not sure what it is (really none of my business) but she is going to be unable to see patients for at least a couple of weeks, possibly longer depending on how her recovery goes. I haven’t even missed an appointment yet but I’m beginning to feel very lost, and my anxiety is beginning to ramp up, just the uncertainty of when is she going to be back, and more importantly is she going to be OK? I know it’s not totally appropriate for me to be worried about her, but that doesn’t stop me from doing so. Just needed to say something to someone about this, so thanks for letting me vent a bit.

[likelife]

I don't think it's at all inappropriate for you to be worried about her. I know I'd feel the same way under similar circumstances.

I'm sorry you're struggling with ramped up anxiety. Have you had a chance to talk with your T about how you will know when she is ready to return? And/or how to cope with her absence?

[Mike_J]

She has promised to call by the end of the month at the latest, that is the only real information I have on when she might be back. And no we really didn't talk about how I'm going to cope without her, I didn't want to appear to be overly needy (but I'm clearly feeling very needy at the moment).

[stopdog]

I was a little off kilter when the one I see got broken. And I am not even all that keen about the therapist. So I think it is sort of usual to have some concern.

[Serotonin]

You have confessed to being a needy person, and from your statements have conveyed the strong impression that you have become heavily dependent upon and attached to your therapist, and you are very far from unique or alone in this.

Many people develop friendships, camaraderies, and even romantic crushes on their T's, and on the unhealthy side; infatuations, obsessions, and over-dependencies. How you categorise and deal with the nature of your dependence is down to you.

Therapists see many different people on a daily basis, and every single one of those people may feel the same way about their T as you do. That's because they have been in long sessions of psychotherapy, and have divulged a lot of personal stuff about themselves, and with emotional release, feel that they have created a personal bond. That's all good and healthy, and is conducive to sustaining the therapist-patient relationship.

You should examine your concerns and ask yourself if they are healthy. If you feel that they are, then you've got nothing to be worried about.

[faith1983]

oh I so understand! The longer time I had without seeing t was when I went for a congress and had to miss one week... Even though I was busy, it was hard on me, and still is when I have to miss an appointment. Maybey it was worth because, just like you, I didn't want my t to think/see I was needy so I didn't talk about it with him at all...

But I think the apprehension is the worst. I always think I won't make it but always managed pretty good with it at the end. Every single time, I came back and find myself having more stuff to talk about and more energy to do it. I cannot really explain why but that's the way it is for me. But knowing that and having experience it, I still worry when I have to miss session.

I know it's know helpful but I'm pretty sure you'll be just fine and discover some stuff about you and about your therapy that you wouln't have discover without this break. If ever the break is longer than anticipated, you can always see someone else just to go through the break; people sometimes do that and it's perfectly fine.

Hope everything goes well for you and for your t surgery also...
Faith

[Butterflies Are Free]

I would have a hard time too and I think it's okay that you will miss your T

I always have a hard time when my T is gone. I hope the time goes by quickly for you.

[carla.cdt]

I felt that way before when a T I was seeing went on a long vacation, too long if you ask me!
Anyway some days I felt like anxiety was going to get the best of me, some days I felt great for handling it without her, and then feeling guilty of not needing her...
Attachment to therapist, isn't it great!
Take care

[mcl6136]

I think you sound incredibly balanced about this. I mean...you say..the surgery is none of your business. A very commendable and good sign. I know that there are people out there (nobody WE know) who would be lurking at the hospitals of their respective cities, trying to learn more.

Hang in there. Some concern is very normal. Lurking behind bushes is not. And I would say that NO concern is also not....!