My T surprised me today by emptying out what I had thought was a merely decorative wicker box onto the floor. Toys! Lots of little characters and animals and figurines... I eyed them warily as I wondered what she was going to have me do, but it's okay, it turned out to be non terrifying.

She asked me to select one that represented me. I was drawn to a My Little Pony toy, pink, with a sunshine on its hiney. I chose it because it reminded me of my childhood - I had lots of those colourful little ponies, and would spend hours and hours playing with them. She asked me what the characteristics of the pony were, and I said it was a nice happy pony. Then I figured the pony was actually supposed to BE me. Oh, wait.. nice maybe, happy not so much.. I said I changed my mind - I WANTED to be the pony. I found a little grey donkey figure and said maybe that was more 'me' right now... (think the donkey in Shrek and how he turns into the beautiful white stallion! ) She actually asked if it was a donkey or a mule... Yeah, I am stubborn!

I also had to pick toys to represent other people in my life and explain why they represented those people. Then toys that represented who I wanted them to be. Then I was to tell her what I wanted to change about each of the toys and why. I wanted to turn the pony purple - because it's 'edgier' and more 'grown up' than pink. Then she did hypnosis with me based on all of this. It was really kinda cool, a good session

This all got me thinking, and of course I had to pick just based on the selection of toys she had. I think if I were to choose any toy to represent me as I am now I might select a little wooden doll or puppet.. and one day I'll become a 'real' girl..! Or perhaps I'm a russian doll, with the 'real me' in the middle? But I still want to become the beautiful, nice, happy little purple pony with the sunshine motif

What toy represents you and why? And what toy do you WANT to be and why? Anyone else ever do an exercise like this in therapy? (Or maybe T reminds you of a particular toy? I know we had the 'which animal would your T be' thread a while ago!) Just for fun

[sittingatwatersedge]

Now: A marionette, a sad ballerina.

Some day: Same ballerina, with strings cut, dancing and whirling with breathtaking freedom.

[WikidPissah]

hmmm...I'll play.
Right now I am an old rag doll, with dirty face and lifeless eyes. Something that just gets tossed around and nobody cares about. I want to be play dough...red. Pliable, soft and artsy, besides everybody loves playdough.

[sconnie892]

That sounds like a really interesting therapy activity.

I am a child of the 80s and had a Popple. They would transform from a ball into some sort of friendly creature. Sometimes, I like to be able to curl into a safe little ball and be hidden from the world and other times I don't mind being exposed and interacting with people. This is the one I had as a child.

[Trippin2.0]

Now: a starcastle. Pretty and sparkley on the outside, with lots of hidden compartments and suprizes inside.
In future: the same, minus the hidden compartments.

[stopdog]

I am finding it difficult say what toy I am. I did like slinkies and lawn darts as a kid. But I don't think that is what is being asked.

What an interesting activity, just_some_girl! Schema therapy has different 'modes' (vulnerable child, punitive parent, detached protector etc) and I have sometimes wanted to find ways to represent them but T has always seemed very unkeen- something about them all being *me* I think?

T gave me a lovely rag doll with blonde hair and pigtails for my birthday (thanks again for the idea, Hankster!) and I've been using that as an externalized representation of the 'little one' in me. I've found it really helpful actually- it's a bit like mindfulness, in that it gives me a bit of distance from my feelings- I can recognise that those completely overwhelming feelings belong to the little one, so they don't overpower *all* of me. And actually seeing this sweet dolly sort of activates my healthy adult mode- I see her and know how she's feeling and realise that she's got me or nothing, so I'm more likely to take charge- and also more likely to be kind to her rather than impatient or downright punitive.

[Snuffleupagus]

I think I'm a Bag O'Glass. All the colors of the rainbow.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...ainway/1185611

[newtus]

sometimes id say id be a windup bunny with an extremely short life or something. if you dont wind me up i just sit there unused. which is usually what i do.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Improving

T gave me a lovely rag doll with blonde hair and pigtails for my birthday (thanks again for the idea, Hankster!) and I've been using that as an externalized representation of the 'little one' in me. I've found it really helpful actually- it's a bit like mindfulness, in that it gives me a bit of distance from my feelings- I can recognise that those completely overwhelming feelings belong to the little one, so they don't overpower *all* of me. And actually seeing this sweet dolly sort of activates my healthy adult mode- I see her and know how she's feeling and realise that she's got me or nothing, so I'm more likely to take charge- and also more likely to be kind to her rather than impatient or downright punitive.

Oh nice!!! yes mine has the soft body too! and the fact that her hair is chopped off like mine was is very important to me - actually mine is a boy doll, which I didn't even realize. anyway, I like what you said here. I have no language for feelings. but I do look across at her sitting on T's lap and SEE her listening to me, i see HER feeling. the little weirdling! she knows she's smarter than me, better than I am at emotions, that's what gets to me!

[Purple Mist]

now: a Rubik's Cube since im impossible to figure out
someday: a purple unicorn doll because i want to be loved by someone

[Nightlight]

Before I'd even opened up the thread I thought "My Little Pony"! I thought it might work because I'm very happy on the outside...I don't think I'd suit being a squishy cuddly toy (might wish I was one though). Actually, when I was little I had a Sad Sam. I'd be a My Little Pony on the outside and a Sad Sam on the inside.

[CantExplain]

Easy. I'm a teddy bear.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am finding it difficult say what toy I am. I did like slinkies and lawn darts as a kid. But I don't think that is what is being asked.

I'm with you. My first gut answer was wooden blocks. Always my favorite as a kid. Like you though, I doubt that is what is being asked. Lawn Darts were great!

Happy Fun Ball.

"Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball".

[growlycat]

I always had stuffed lions and tigers....but I think I am like Lite Brite....sometimes fun and shiny, sometimes the bulb won't work and all you have are black sheets with holes in them

[mortimer]

I would be a Kirsten Larson American Girl doll.

Before I got irrationally destructive against all of my toys, dolls were my favorites. I always wanted an American Girl doll, but I never ended up with one.

So when I was 22 I took matters into my own hands and bought my own doll. Totally worth it.

[likelife]

A Pound Puppy.

Either a teddy bear, or a nice soft toy bunny, with a cute face. The kind that you just like to pet because they're so cuddly and lovable. Something that would be dearly loved by its owner ....

[rainbow8]

Corduroy, the bear in the children's story by Don Freeman. He has a missing button on his strap and no one wants him until a little girl decides that's the only bear she wants, and her mother buys him for her. She sews on the button and takes good care of him--really loves him. It's such a cute story! I guess he's not a real toy but I'm sure they have "Corduroy" stuffed bears.

Right now I feel like the ugly, broken toy that no one wants to play with or even try to fix because I look so impossibly messed up.

Sorry, that's a very dramatic emo response. I am not having a good night. I do like the exercise you and your T did, when I am feeling better I'll have to think about my answers to this.

[mortimer]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Corduroy, the bear in the children's story by Don Freeman. He has a missing button on his strap and no one wants him until a little girl decides that's the only bear she wants, and her mother buys him for her. She sews on the button and takes good care of him--really loves him. It's such a cute story! I guess he's not a real toy but I'm sure they have "Corduroy" stuffed bears.

This past summer they had Corduroy toys at Target. And like a month ago I saw them in the children's section at Barnes and Noble. They're making a lot of children's book characters in toy form now.

I liked that book and bought the stuffed toy and book for my niece. She isn't really into the book, and the first thing she did was rip his clothes off.

[scorpiosis37]

I would be Professor Barbie. Cute little blonde with a smile on her face and glasses appropriately over her hair rather than her eyes Clothes, make-up, and hair done, briefcase over the shoulder; perfect outer appearance which is sometimes reflected on the inside, and sometimes not. Even if she's having a bad day, she has a smile on her face and a sense of humor about whatever the situation may be. And, of course, at least one pink accessory! Yup, that sounds like me!

Although, there have been other moments in therapy when I've felt like a little Kelly doll (Barbie's baby sister). In those moments, I just feel like throwing my hands up, shrugging, and making a confused face and hoping T will jump in and be the "mommy" to my little kid self.



http://cdn103.iofferphoto.com/img/it.../26/8766_1.JPG " />

[scorpiosis37]

http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl...:13,s:36,i:216

Why aren't my pictures showing up? I'm clicking "insert image" and typing in the URL... *merp*

[and_im_still_here]

Now: im a stuffed fluffy bear but with half its head ripped , stinky, dirty and with a frown on its face since im struggling constantly with my life.
Id love to be that same stuffed bear but beautiful good smelling and fixed yay! I know one day ill be fixed and clean and smiling happy.