[just2b]

My therapy isnt DID trained. I have been coming to this site to learn things and understand from those that have DID and been in therapy. I see my t every 2 weeks starting today. I had my session today and told her that i come here, read the book the Flock, and been trying suggestions that have been given to me on how to communicate with my alters. I feel that I am in this therapy all by myself,and feel alone. What is her role in my treatment right now?? I dont understand. I flirt with the idea of quitting therapy all together, but in the end I am going to give this every two week therapy a try.

What would a DID therapist be doing? What type of therapy do they (DID specialists) do different than another therapists? Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by just2b

My therapy isnt DID trained. I have been coming to this site to learn things and understand from those that have DID and been in therapy. I see my t every 2 weeks starting today. I had my session today and told her that i come here, read the book the Flock, and been trying suggestions that have been given to me on how to communicate with my alters. I feel that I am in this therapy all by myself,and feel alone. What is her role in my treatment right now?? I dont understand. I flirt with the idea of quitting therapy all together, but in the end I am going to give this every two week therapy a try.

What would a DID therapist be doing? What type of therapy do they (DID specialists) do different than another therapists? Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated.

they do the same things that a not DID specialty therapist does. they ask you questions to find out what your problems are and what you want to work on. they cant force you to do anything you don't want to do and they cant tell you what to say and do. All therapists can do is be there to listen when you want to talk. they are there to ask you questions to get get you thinking about how you can fix your problems. they cant say your problem is this so go do that. they have to let you lead the way so that someday you don't come back trying to sue them for making you believe you have problems that you don't really have. what you do with your therapist is what ever you want to do. yesterday my therapist and I went for a walk while we talked because I didn't want to sit in a small room. I wanted to be out walking in the snow. sometimes I take my journal in and show her an entry and we talk about it. when I switched into an alter she just ran the session by what I needed to do with her when I was that alter, sometimes writing, coloring or just talking.

what you do in therapy is what ever you need to spend the time on. if you want to talk you talk, if you want to color you color, if you want to yell you yell, if you want to play with the toys in the room you play with the toys. if you need your therapist to tell you that you are safe now thats what will happen, if you need to cry then its ok to cry too. its your time to do what you want to do. sometimes they give you homework. after walking in the snow yesterday my therapist asked me to make a snow angle at least once this week and next week tell her how I felt lying there flapping my arms and legs making the snow angel. my therapist is always coming up with mindfulness/awareness type homework assignments LOL

[writingwithink]

Let me start by saying that I was in your place this past year, and I hope that you will find a direction.

A little background:
Eight years ago my then-T said I was DID but I never believed her. After leaving therapy then (she retired and the T after her left for personal reasons), things went silent inside and my life seemed to get better.

This year:
I decided to return to therapy because my eating disorder had never ceased. Enter the eating disorder T (a social worker). After working with her, weird things started happening (mainly voices inside, new ones showing up, and some parts taking complete control of me; additionally, new scenes started popping into my head and physical feelings would just stop me in my tracks), and I began to reflect back on the former T telling me she thought I had DID.

It took a while for me to tell the ED T, and I basically begged her to not kick me out. She didn’t and promised to learn as much as possible and to work with me through it. I even searched everywhere to get advice on the necessity of a T who specializes in DD. I was determined to stay with the ED T; however, it became apparent that she would not be able to help, and that asking her to do so would potentially take her efforts away from her other clients.

In hind-sight, here’s what really indicated that she would not have been able to help:
1. She bought a book but never finished reading it.
2. She said she planned to seek supervision (or something), but she never did that.
3. I was very focused on process, and there seemed to be no process in session. She told me not to worry about the process and just go with it. (I’ll come back to this in a moment)
4. I started to tell her about one of the scenes that had appeared, and I ended up leaving the room (went into a trance/hypnotic/weird state) and it freaked her out.
5. She never talked about the parts or asked questions about them or of them. The internal world was not a topic. Every session was basically her waiting for me to lead the discussion.
6. The frenzy inside didn’t stop, and my head felt like it was in turmoil.

These were some of the indications (there were others, but these were the ones important to your question). At this point, a part inside took over and started making appointments with other Ts. This same part ended therapy with the ED T. I would have stayed with that T forever, but now I’m glad there was an administrator-like part inside that took control.
(I just want to say that I've never liked saying negative things about any of my Ts, so I feel a little awkward writing these things. I will say that I was very impressed with her ED abilities. She was very dedicated to helping folks with this problem, but dissociation was not a strength, as it isn't with so many Ts.)

The administrator-like part decided on the DID specialist after interviewing about four or five.

So here’s the difference after 2ish months with the DID person.

1. She has been completely calm from day one. She’s very familiar with dissociation. I’ve nearly stopped researching stuff about dissociative disorders and just show up every week knowing she’s in control.
2. Referring back to #2 above, I recently asked her about the process and she said, “What we’ve been doing is the process.” In retrospect, it was basically the same response as the eating disorder T, but hearing it from this person and the assured way in which she said it calmed my fear, and I haven’t thought about process since.
3. A lot of the discussion in session (at least what I can remember) is about the parts and my internal world. She has asked me a lot to “ask inside.” That’s been difficult because I want to ignore the parts, so I don’t usually do that.
4. She is helping me to notice. For example, there have been times when she’s focused my attention on what I’m feeling inside as I seem to be moving in and out of the present.

When all this stuff started earlier this year, I wanted so desperately to stay with the ED T, but I’m just so glad that something internally moved me on. I wouldn’t trade this new T and her experience for the world.

I wish you well, and if you’d like to ask questions, feel free to PM me.

Peace,
writing