Even more than that, .

?? Can you elaborate a bit?

Originally Posted by farmergirl

?? Can you elaborate a bit?

I was honest with my T today about his emails. How he signed one with his REAL name and then the next time Dr. T. T is BIG on boundaries and has always referred to himself, from the very beginning, as Dr. T.

He was not aware so it caught him off guard.

We talked about it for awhile.

Then, almost as a reminder to himself, he said he needed to put a disclaimer at the bottom of his emails. At first, I thought he was joking but then I realized, he wasn't.

I asked him, why?

I said it felt very personal. He assured me it was not but something he has been needing to do for a long time (prior to me).

I regret telling him.

The disclaimer probably has nothing to do with this issue with you at all. Many professionals have disclaimers on their emails, often about how they cannot be assured to be completely confidential due to email security issues, yadda, yadda. Talking about emails probably just reminded him to do that. Sounds like he was just thinking out loud.

Yep. Long disclaimer on all my emails. It's a requirement of the job, not meant to offend.

Originally Posted by farmergirl

The disclaimer probably has nothing to do with this issue with you at all. Many professionals have disclaimers on their emails, often about how they cannot be assured to be completely confidential due to email security issues, yadda, yadda. Talking about emails probably just reminded him to do that. Sounds like he was just thinking out loud.

Chris, he was thinking aloud. No doubt.

One of the reasons he wants a disclaimer is because he thought I might be angry that he responded a few days after I sent my email. He said it has happened with other clients. I wasn't angry. Contrary, in my email I specifically asked him NOT to respond because I feared he would sign his name differently again and I would think I did something wrong and be stuck with all those feelings for the three week break. He did.

I was just thinking how many T's, in an effort to reduce their own liability (sometimes as a result of their own creation), make decisions which are not always in the best interest of the client.

Originally Posted by stormyangels

Yep. Long disclaimer on all my emails. It's a requirement of the job, not meant to offend.

What if it does? Maybe, it's just me?

Why should I trust him, when he doesn't trust me?

I didn't create his dilemma. HE DID.

He asked me who I wanted him to be? I told him I didn't know who I wanted him to be other than just HIM?

I told him Dr. T was fine with me.

Ugh.

[WikidPissah]

my T - no disclaimer. But everything I have read on this forum in the past few years makes me think it should be standard. Something like "my text doesn't reflect my vocal inflections and was not intended to harm you, worry you or cause more pain. Please call asap for clarification if you are triggered by something I wrote, and refrain from sending a heated message back. Email complications are much better when handled verbally."

Sorry his text caused you pain lost. I probably would have harped on that as well.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

my T - no disclaimer. But everything I have read on this forum in the past few years makes me think it should be standard. Something like "my text doesn't reflect my vocal inflections and was not intended to harm you, worry you or cause more pain. Please call asap for clarification if you are triggered by something I wrote, and refrain from sending a heated message back. Email complications are much better when handled verbally."

Sorry his text caused you pain lost. I probably would have harped on that as well.

Haha that's awesome.

As an attorney, there is a disclaimer about confidentiality that HAS to go at the bottom of every email. The disciplinary administrator requires it.

[stopdog]

Yes. My state has that requirement too.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by lost in termination

Then, almost as a reminder to himself, he said he needed to put a disclaimer at the bottom of his emails. At first, I thought he was joking but then I realized, he wasn't.

What do you think he would say in his disclaimer and what about that would offend you? Is it because it would be a reminder that the communication was professional and not personal?

My T's disclaimer reads: This is a private message. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender and then delete this message.

I am not offended by it. It just reminds me that email communications can sometimes go astray and nothing by email is ever really private. It's a risk we take for the convenience of communicating this way. I appreciate having that convenience! If I don't want to take this risk, I can insist all of our communications be by phone.

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

my T - no disclaimer. But everything I have read on this forum in the past few years makes me think it should be standard. Something like "my text doesn't reflect my vocal inflections and was not intended to harm you, worry you or cause more pain. Please call asap for clarification if you are triggered by something I wrote, and refrain from sending a heated message back. Email complications are much better when handled verbally."

Sorry his text caused you pain lost. I probably would have harped on that as well.

Thanks, Wikid. I actually like your disclaimer, it's written in a thoughtful way and shows concern for the client as opposed to the cold, clinical, c-m-a disclaimer T was fumbling to explain.

Originally Posted by sunrise

What do you think he would say in his disclaimer and what about that would offend you? Is it because it would be a reminder that the communication was professional and not personal?

My T's disclaimer reads: This is a private message. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender and then delete this message.

I am not offended by it. It just reminds me that email communications can sometimes go astray and nothing by email is ever really private. It's a risk we take for the convenience of communicating this way. I appreciate having that convenience! If I don't want to take this risk, I can insist all of our communications be by phone.

He wanted to prepare me so he told me what it would say. He asked me to please believe him. He said, this is not about me or what happened, but he has to do it anyway. It is hard for me to believe this is not about either, when he has practiced for many, many, many years with no disclosures.

He doesn't "have" to do anything. He "wants" to put a disclaimer because he feels he "needs" to protect himself. The way he described his disclaimer, I saw it as more of a self-protective measure, not for the benefit of the client.

Originally Posted by stopdog

Yes. My state has that requirement too.

Stopdog, thanks for your post in another thread about email signatures. It made perfect sense.

Lost, the same thing happened to me a few weeks ago, but about texts. After I'd sent a couple of texts one week, which isn't out of the ordinary for us, when I came in she said that she wanted to limit our texts only to scheduling because they are not confidential. She has an iPhone and so the text pops up on the home screen. If another client sees this on her desk or her husband while they're at home, this is violating my confidentiality. Like you, I was kind of bummed and hurt that she realized this because of me, but it does make sense... Now anything 'personal' she wants me to send to her email instead, on which, incidentally she has a super long disclaimer statement that used to bother me, but I recognize that this is for my protection as well as hers. Whenever someone is around me as I'm on my computer I make sure never to have open one of her emails to me or my emails to her.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

Originally Posted by lost in termination

He doesn't "have" to do anything. He "wants" to put a disclaimer because he feels he "needs" to protect himself. The way he described his disclaimer, I saw it as more of a self-protective measure, not for the benefit of the client.

This seems a little one-sided and lacking in a long-term perspective. T's need to protect their business interests and they should be "allowed" to do things that protect what they have built. Their interests count too. And in the long term, things that allow a T to stay in business and not be burnt out or sued out of existence are ultimately in all his clients' best interests.

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it is adverse to your interests. If being upset about something that happens in the course of therapy were the test for something adverse to client interests, then T's would be acting constantly against clients' interests. Rather, I think therapy teaches us to deal and accept the things that we find distressing and uncomfortable. Hopefully that is just one of those for you.

[QUOTE=ListenMoreTalkLess;2391584]This seems a little one-sided and lacking in a long-term perspective. T's need to protect their business interests and they should be "allowed" to do things that protect what they have built. Their interests count too. And in the long term, things that allow a T to stay in business and not be burnt out or sued out of existence are ultimately in all his clients' best interests.

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it is adverse to your interests. If being upset about something that happens in the course of therapy were the test for something adverse to client interests, then T's would be acting constantly against clients' interests. Rather, I think therapy teaches us to deal and accept the things that we find distressing and uncomfortable. Hopefully that is just one of those for you.[/QUOTE

LMTL, I can see where someone from the outside looking in might read my posts and have similar thoughts.
Personally, I don't care if T has a disclaimer. There were a few examples here and on another thread of a few T's who use it for confidentiality purposes. My T's example was not a confidentiality disclaimer. It was a when I confuse or hurt you ( inadvertently) because of a potential error(s) on my part, you cant hold me personally responsible.

I am a HUGE rule follower, very compliant client. T knows me and has compared my upbringing to that of a child growing up with a parent who was an apostolic preacher.

I am triggered by the conversation disclaimer because I once had a T terminate me without cause. He later said he was protecting himself. My current T and I both agree it was not from me. I have been in therapy for over 5 years trying to work through the harm caused by him.

[likelife]

[/QUOTE]

My T's example was not a confidentiality disclaimer. It was a when I confuse or hurt you ( inadvertently) because of a potential error(s) on my part, you cant hold me personally responsible.

[/quote]

This seems way different than a boilerplate confidentiality disclaimer. And also a little bizarre, as if writing a few (imo, meaningless) words is going to cover his *ss in a relationship sense, not a liability sense. Like, you can't get mad at me if I make a mistake. Isn't that one of the central points of therapy? To work through confused or hurt feelings that arise in the relationship?

Ugh, I don't like that at all.

Cripes never heard anything like it. Perhaps here in the uk things are different? Perhaps because my theraPist works privately. But never ever come into contact with disclaimers.

[bamapsych]

I went back and looked at the 4 emails I e exchanged with my T over the past 10 months. she does NOT have any kind of disclaimer attached at all. She tries to keep a professional relationship with me so im a bit surprised that her emails dont reflect that also. I do think that T's get all wrapped up in the legality/ethics sort of things alot of times. In my opinion, that reflects their own issues, probably some trust and intimacy issues... I agree with another poster how that clients are supposed to have unending trust in T, but the T usually has little/no trust in client. I see T's point of view too, but how many times do you hear of a T actually getting sued or involved in legal action? Im in school for a psychology degree myself and it takes years of hard work to be a T so they have alot at stake to risk, but my experiences with 2 different T's make me think they just want to protect themselves at all costs

Yes, we unfortunately have turned into a very litigious society which puts professionals in the position of needing to cross all their i's and dot all their t's to safeguard their livelihoods, their professions, their reputations, etc. I can't blame people for needing to do this. I don't think it is a reflection of paranoia; it's just the legal reality of the nature of their profession. They generally wish it didn't have to be that way, but they can't hang their professional safety on wishes.