tears and the t (trigger just in case)

I've only cried twice during T and it was just the "one tear rolling down the cheek" variety. I asked her once what she does when someone gets really upset so I'd know what to expect and she said sometimes she will talk the person through it or sometimes she will pray for the person (she didn't say whether out loud or silently). She said she can't comfort someone because it is better to feel the emotion...comforting stops the emotion.

I don't know...I actually think if she held my hand or put an arm around me, I'd feel more comfortable crying, but I can only do what she is comfortable with.

Crying is very healing. If you're in a crying situation and you don't cry, that shows that you are overruling your own feelings, crushing your subconscious instead of living in harmony with it. Or so the theory goes.

I sincerely hope this is not true. If she's not prepared to watch patients cry, she's in the wrong job.

I'm sorry Wikid - I didn't see your reply before, and didn't mean to ignore it. I'm not saying you're wrong, it's what I feel as well, and I've had other people say the same thing to me. I just have to find the courage and the energy to go through with it. (Sorry for hijacking the thread )

I cry more often than not. It's not a problem. It's a good place to cry.

Thank you! I think the first part is what my T probably believes. Maybe I do want her to reach out (and yet at the same time, I very much try to be as away from everyone when I'm upset). hmm maybe because I've always cried alone I'm looking for something different. I figure it should be different because there is someone in the room?

At times, I've just sobbed - but during those times I've been telling her about what was hurting so much. She handled it in various ways, depending on a lot of different things, but the important thing is that she was always engaged with me. She sure didn't just sit back and "watch."

Sometimes, when I opened my eyes, I saw tears in her eyes too. god that made me feel so therapeutically "held."

There have been other times that I haven't had words, but tears would fall silently. Without exception, if she didn't already know why they were falling, she would gently say "Crescent.. can you tell me what the tears are about?"

There was even one time that I just felt like crying, and she was so attuned to me that she asked me what the tears were about before they even fell.

I can't imagine how I would feel if she just looked at me.

I love this! I didn't take it as bossy, but as showing how much we at PC really care about each other? I'm so glad people posted pictures of themselves, I can just see wiki's wikid grin, stamping her foot and saying that's the last straw!
and thanks for this thread - it describes all possible ways of crying. i'm not an easy crier.

I am so jealous of all of you who are able to let go and cry in therapy. I trust my T with my life - he's warm, caring, gentle, empathetic - yet I am unable to cry in his presence. I freeze, get a huge lump in my throat, tremble, but the tears don't come. I don't know why - in six years with him we've covered so much trauma, hurt, horror, etc. It would have been so healing to be able to cry. My tears seem to be frozen and I don't know what the answer is.

that's exactly what I was doing. Why isn't there a stomp your foot smiley??

Just so you know, Wiki, I didn't see it as bossy at all

OK, I will admit this, but please don't tell anybody I said this: I want a T I can feel safe enough to cry in front of. And then I want to be able to cry, but I'm not quite sure wingless birds do that.

I think until you finally trust t enough to cry in front of them, you still have work to do on your therapeutic relationship. It took me a couple years before shedding a tear. It's hard but the Feeling is so freeing.

The idea of crying with the therapist in the room does not sound reassuring to me. I think I would just leave if I felt the urge to cry and thought I would not be able to control it. I have not ever had the feeling of being near tears with the therapist so, while not impossible, I do consider it improbable.