sorry.....

You were not wrong.

First, you have the right not to be treated like that. It was unfair, cruel, and wrong. You were right to react because of that.
Second, she has to learn that it's not OK to treat others like that. Under any circumstances. A parent has a responsibility to convey that to their children, regardless of age.

[granite1]

you daughter sounds so very angry at you and that must be so hard to deal with.i dont know what your responce to all that anger was or if it was right or wrong but i do know it must be hard to face and deal with that amount of anger and all from your daughter

believe it or not,the thing that angered us the most is when she screamed at her 8yo brother because he tried to defend us! we told her to shut up because she had NO right to speak to him like that EVER! and she screamed that she would talk to him anyway she wanted anytime she wanted. NO we DONT think so!!!

Originally Posted by granite1

you daughter sounds so very angry at you and that must be so hard to deal with.i dont know what your responce to all that anger was or if it was right or wrong but i do know it must be hard to face and deal with that amount of anger and all from your daughter

yes shes had bad anger issues most of her life as have we but we are trying to do something about it. she seems to think because we didnt give her what she needed growing up then its perfectly fine for her to take it out on us. we did the best we could with what we had to work with. if we were never taught how to be a parent then its not an easy thing to do perfectly

No. I don't think you were wrong.

[Sannah]

[Sannah]

TD, do you get triggered with your daughter's anger?

Originally Posted by Sannah

TD, do you get triggered with your daughter's anger?

omgosh YES!!!!! for years and years those of us who were out dealing with her and doing parenting were silent and took her abuse silently but we cant anymore

[rainbow_rose]

i didn't get to read your post but here are some hugs:

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

for years and years those of us who were out dealing with her and doing parenting were silent and took her abuse silently but we cant anymore

TD, children want their parents in charge desperately. It sounds like you were unable to be in charge and this is very scary for children. It means that they are in charge. Sounds like this is still playing out. You can do this. Please try to seperate your daughter's anger out from your abuser's anger. Please try to see how your fear is coming from the past and that it really isn't based in today. If you can sit with your daughter's anger it will begin to decrease. People get angry when they aren't being heard. If you can just hear her anger it will decrease her anger.