[rainboots87]

Recently, I had been seeing T once and sometimes twice a week when possible for extra support. But lately the extra sessions have been "activating" for me as T put it and my attachment had gotten pretty intense. It caused me to think back to my other long-term T who I was really attached to and the dietitians I had gone through attachment with as well.

I think I've realized that with a greater frequency of sessions, I tend to get way more attached and struggle more. However, when I see someone less often- even only once every few weeks, I have a much more secure attachment and I actually tend to make better progress in that time. I also tend to rely less on the professionals and more on myself and my own potential with less frequent sessions. And it's actually helps my progress improve rather than having less frequent sessions because of already improved progress.

Yesterday, my current T said she has observed that higher frequency puts me into an "I'm so messed up" mindset and that I'm much more capable than I give myself credit for. She's also commented in the past that I give my providers so much credit and that I have such high belief in them (i.e., that they're perfect and know everything and their opinion holds such high weight) when I probably shouldn't so much.

What kind of effect does session frequency have for you and your progress?

I've never seen a T for more or less than 1 hour a week, so I have no basis for comparison. When things were really bad about a year ago, I would have given anything for twice a week sessions. I think they would have helped because I had so much to talk about, and that 50 mins goes by so darn fast. I would think to myself, "OK, bottle up the rest of it for the next 7 days....."

But I agree with you that more infrequent sessions encourage people to rely on themselves more. I think it all depends on where you're at in therapy and what you're working toward. If I EVER get all this stuff worked out, I'd like to taper off gradually with more and more infrequent sessions rather than quit cold-turkey.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

Recently, I had been seeing T once and sometimes twice a week when possible for extra support. But lately the extra sessions have been "activating" for me as T put it and my attachment had gotten pretty intense. It caused me to think back to my other long-term T who I was really attached to and the dietitians I had gone through attachment with as well.

I think I've realized that with a greater frequency of sessions, I tend to get way more attached and struggle more. However, when I see someone less often- even only once every few weeks, I have a much more secure attachment and I actually tend to make better progress in that time. I also tend to rely less on the professionals and more on myself and my own potential with less frequent sessions. And it's actually helps my progress improve rather than having less frequent sessions because of already improved progress.

Yesterday, my current T said she has observed that higher frequency puts me into an "I'm so messed up" mindset and that I'm much more capable than I give myself credit for. She's also commented in the past that I give my providers so much credit and that I have such high belief in them (i.e., that they're perfect and know everything and their opinion holds such high weight) when I probably shouldn't so much.

What kind of effect does session frequency have for you and your progress?

I`m glad that when I needed more frequent sessions, I was able to get them. I do think it helped foster attachment, but that`s what my therapist wanted. I tend to be less `needy` if I get all I think I need. I need to be the one who pushes her away, rather than her deciding that it`s somehow `bad` for me to depend on her.

She did once tell me that she`d know I`m getting better when I didn`t have time for her :-)

[lostmyway21]

I go twice a week and it deifintly has an affect on my attachment issues. It's an insecure attachment, I rely on him and need him a lot more. I don't really know how to rely on myself.

[Gently1]

Once every two weeks for 1.5 hrs, except now there is some 'momentum' and once a week is what is working.

[rainbow_rose]

the more often i see her, the faster my progress ... but if I'm not careful, i can be overwhelmed by progressing faster than I can handle...

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

I go twice a week and it deifintly has an affect on my attachment issues. It's an insecure attachment, I rely on him and need him a lot more. I don't really know how to rely on myself.

I didn`t either. Anytime my T said things about me learning to nurture myself, etc, it would throw me into an inner panic. I had no idea what she was talking about.

But after a long period of secure attachment, little by little I have developed self-reliance, and it feels good. I think it was crucial, though, that I learned by experiencing how it felt to have a therapist I was attached to, who cared for me.

At first I thought hey maybe this is my problem! But then I realized I only saw the T I was super attached to once a week. But still what you are saying makes a lot of sense to me. Lately I have been seeing therapists more than once a week and it does make me feel more dependent. Although I think I really may need it this week! Lol

[likelife]

I started seeing my T twice a week during a crisis period, and it helped me to feel more stable. But after that, I had a difficult time letting go of twice a week. Most recently, I went twice a week every other week, and once a week in between. Like you, rainboots, it was definitely "activating" for me. I decided to take a 6-week break to regroup. I'm a little surprised that, while I miss my T, I don't feel devastated in the way I thought I might.

[MASIMO]

I see my t once a week for 60-90 minutes. And We email a few times between sessions and sometimes a call or two. All depending on my mental state. Id love to see him twice a week but couldn't afford it and it really would be just to be with him cause I love him. Would make me Too dependent.

[critterlady]

I see T twice a week, at least most weeks. I've only been seeing him for a little over 4 months and I need and like the frequency to help me through the death of my mother, on top of all the things I originally came to see him about. Plus, I struggle with attachment and seeing him twice/week is helping with that. It won't go on like that for very long, but as long as I'm benefiting from it, I plan to continue.

i see my therapist 2-3 times a week (on skype right now while she's gone away)- normally 2x a week in person-- we talk for 2-4 hours at a time. but it doesn't feel like enough (she says the same thing) because we have at least 25 inside people who are always waiting in line to talk to her. so no one ever gets much time with her even though we try really hard to take turns.

[healed84]

I feel like it is the other way around for me.. maybe I am the only backwards person, lol. I see T once a week, when things were really tough recently I had seen him a couple of times twice a week with a phone call once a week. Because I see him once a week, I think it stops me from thinking, stalking his fb, calling him. I think this because I can say to myself, I see T once a week.. so next week he will be in his office at our appointed time ready to talk. I have been a bit anxious know that T will be out of the office next week and I am pretty sure won't be able to contact him at all, and then won't see him until the end of the following week. That makes me feel the need to stalk his fb, look at his practice's website, google him. I just need to know he is there. Even if he isn't going to be in his office waiting to see me next week. Does that make any sense at all?

I had trouble opening up when I was going every other week. It seemed like it would take me a long time to start talking about anything serious every time. Seeing him weekly, it's easier for me to open up and just kind of jump in and start talking at the beginning of the session.

[sconnie892]

I generally see t every two weeks. There are sometimes when I would have liked to see t every week - usually when we've had a session that works on deep issues. But, I usually like the two weeks because it gives me adequate time to process the previous session and work on any homework t's given me.

The only time I see my T more than once a week is if I'm in a really awful crisis. In those cases it is usually him who requests more frequent sessions so he can closely monitor my condition. Once the crisis has past, we go back to our usual schedule.

[Honeybun]

I see my T1 3x per week (sometimes 4 when in crisis). I also see T2 1x every 2 weeks.

Moving to 3x per week was a huge help for me as I have attachment, trust and safety issues. I did start therapy at 1x per week, but over the years, as the work has deepened I need the extra time or I freak out between sessions. Yes, the attachment to my T is very strong and I am extremely dependent on him, but it's part of the process of the therapy.

once a week right now...
i have been twice a week when in crisis.
i have gone once every three months.
i have not gone for about a year
i have gone once a month.
kinda whatever i needed within his schedule
i am totally all over the place depending on what is happening.

t has been okay with all this as far as i know
no email or text
i can always call. t tells me this a lot

[sunrise]

I have a strong, secure attachment to my T. Going more or less frequently won't change that. It's nice not to have to worry about the attachment. It just forms a backdrop for our work. When I first started therapy, I went once a week for 50 minutes. When I changed to every 2 weeks, it was really hard at first to maintain the connection. T suggested we have 90 minute sessions and that really helped. There have been times we were at 90 minutes every 3-4 weeks. Right now we are back to every 2 weeks and have been doing 50 minute sessions. But for this week's session, I booked 90 minutes as I felt I needed more. It just all depends on where I am at, what the issues are in my life at the time, etc.

I don't feel dependent on my T, so that doesn't figure in to the interval I choose. Even when I have a long interval, I don't feel I am going it alone. I feel my therapist is right there with me, even when we don't meet. (I have internalized my T.)

[EllieBear]

The only way I've been able to make any progress in therapy is with more frequent sessions (2-3 times per week). I can't maintain any kind of connection to anyone or anything without it, not my therapist, not myself, not my children or friends or anyone. When I was going once a week, I would stay in my own little world all week, go into therapy completely numb, barely remembering who my therapist was because I was so disconnected from her, and it would take the whole session to get me out of "shut down" mode in order to be able to do any work. And then the session would be over. I'd leave all over the place, walk out the door, disconnect, and go right back into my survival mode...which meant disconnecting. The cycle kept repeating for years. I finally decided I wanted to be able to "live" my life not just "survive", so I now I go more frequently and for me that is definitely the right decision!

[rainboots87]

Thanks for everyone's input. I've definitely had times where I need the twice a week sessions, but I think in the long run, I'm better off with once a week or even only once every two weeks. When more in my crises, more frequent helps keep me from calling so much, but when things are calmer, I make more progress with time to do it on my own (and not get worked up in T). My attachment is definitely more secure with less frequent, though still regular sessions.

[WikidPissah]

this is an interesting thread. I struggle with attachment too...but the problem is I don't attach. I usually do 1x a week, but occasionally I go 2x. I am trying harder to "rely" on him, but I can't seem to let myself do it. When I feel like he is in my head too much during the week I schedule a break so I can feel more in control.

[Perna]

I've seen my T twice a week as well as once a week for twice as long. The once a week, twice as long was more helpful to me, I think, as the time to work in was greater versus getting started on something and it getting stirred up so that I had to "carry it over" to the next session.

[Gently1]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

Thanks for everyone's input. I've definitely had times where I need the twice a week sessions, but I think in the long run, I'm better off with once a week or even only once every two weeks. When more in my crises, more frequent helps keep me from calling so much, but when things are calmer, I make more progress with time to do it on my own (and not get worked up in T). My attachment is definitely more secure with less frequent, though still regular sessions.

Thanks for the question! rainboots and all...
This has helped me as I am more than I expected as I am well into the spectrum of not letting many close, and more so with my therapist in physical+ and emotional+++ contexts.

I am opening myself up to trust as I have been going once a week mostly due to the need to keep balance, while every two weeks was a way for me to keep an emotional distance.
From so many posts I did gain some insight as to my 'control' 'safety' 'showing weakness' and 'comfort' zones.
Attachment may very well be what I bring up today. It does not seem to be a bad thing as I become more secure.

G

[stopdog]

I see two different ones once a week each usually. Although I do not discuss anything about the other with either of them, it seems to help. Both are semi- retired or at least work non regular times, so twice a week with either of them is a bit tricky. I did see the one twice in one week once for a specific situation, but I have only done it once.