[crazycanbegood]

i feel so much stress with the hugs button. i read more than i post these days. i rarely do the thing but now that the official hugs button is there I feel compelled to hug button when i feel sympathetic. but must I hug button every time i feel sympathetic?? at some point the hug button will lose its true meaning, right? but then on the flip side, i shouldn't be stingy in my hug button giving as i have with my ? there is never too much love in the world, right? i don't know whom and how to hug button!

Speaking of hugging, the best hugs are T hugs...

Use the hugs whenever you feel. There is no "right/wrong" way to do it Sometimes with posts, I don't have a lot to say really, but I want the person to know I feel for them/with them. Instead of just sending the emotion, I can now click and send a hug that they will see every time they log in

The "thanks" button used to completely stress me out. Because I am grateful for pretty much all of the posts on PC...the ones where people reply to me when I ask a question or need support, the ones where people share their own experiences, the ones where people support each other. I felt like I either had to use it ALL the time or never. I worry a lot about people's feelings, and I was worried I was going to inadvertently hurt someones feelings if I did it "wrong".

Pretty much right when I got comfortable with it, the "hug" button popped up I have all the same feelings about it that I used to have about the "thanks" button. And the running counter under people's names (which I don't understand...are those hugs given to people or hugs we give?) REALLY bugs me.

I'm sure I'll find a way to navigate it that feels comfortable, eventually. I hope it doesn't take three years like the "thanks" button did!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by treehouse

And the running counter under people's names (which I don't understand...are those hugs given to people or hugs we give?) REALLY bugs me.

I have the same uncertainty about it. Is it hugs we give or are given? It makes me feel like it's a popularity contest (how many hugs have we been given?) or a way to tout our sympathy for others (I have given X number of hugs to people, I am so great.) I just feel squikky about it. Kind of wish it wasn't there... I don't mind so much being able to give people hugs with a button, but that there is a running counter under our names. They don't have that for "thanks", why "hugs"? Guess it will just take some getting used to.

I guess I just don't worry about these buttons. I occasionally use the "thanks" button, generally when I particularly agree with something important that someone has said, although I'm not consistent about it and I don't worry about whether I am or not quite frankly. I've never been one to give hugs on-line anyway. It just never seemed "like me". I know that doesn't mean I don't feel sympathy for someone; it's just not my thing, so I haven't particularly worried about it.

For me it is the words people say that are most important. The buttons are pretty inconsequential for me. I can't worry about whether someone will be offended if I don't hit a button. I have bigger fish to fry. And it isn't something I pay much attention to on my own posts. Again, it is the words that people take the time to think out and write out that really make a difference around here. That is what I choose to give 99% of my attention to.

[Perna]

I have the opposite problem; I've only hugged twice and see someone else has hugged twelve times already; competition to appear as a warm, hugger-type person?

People reading way too much into things.

Seriously, I couldn't care less of somebody thanks my posts and I've no interest in hugs.

I'll thank somebody who responds to my threads even if I don't agree with what they say. They took the time to respond so in that situation I'll often thank them.

Originally Posted by sunrise

I have the same uncertainty about it. Is it hugs we give or are given? It makes me feel like it's a popularity contest (how many hugs have we been given?) or a way to tout our sympathy for others (I have given X number of hugs to people, I am so great.) I just feel squikky about it. Kind of wish it wasn't there... I don't mind so much being able to give people hugs with a button, but that there is a running counter under our names. They don't have that for "thanks", why "hugs"? Guess it will just take some getting used to.

At first I didn't understand what you meant by the running counter, but then I saw it there next to everybody's name. I completely agree with you and everybody else in this thread that it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

Thanks for raising the concerns

Anne

I ignore the buttons.

[unaluna]

I wonder how much the medium influences what we write. Because I am using a phone and never see thanks, do I OP or respond in a way that would not elicit thanks or hugs? Or am I just naturally a cold ungrateful b i t c h?

[rainbow_rose]

And the running counter under people's names (which I don't understand...are those hugs given to people or hugs we give?) REALLY bugs me.

bugs me too. why is the counter necessary?

[ECHOES]

I'm thinking that a member not comfortable with the Hugs counter display could PM DocJohn and ask if it could be optional, as the member title is.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by treehouse

And the running counter under people's names (which I don't understand...are those hugs given to people or hugs we give?) REALLY bugs me.

I think the statistics displayed with every post are inappropriate. It's not a race, right? Are we to judge a poster by the number of paost they have made in the past? I hope not!

Sometimes I use the buttons, sometimes I don't. I rather just type a reply thanking someone or even just hugging someone if I don't really know what to say in a situation.

[ECHOES]

Here are responses by DocJohn, in this thread: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...64#post2143664

While I understand change is hard, at this time we're going to stay with the hug button counter on people's profiles. I appreciate (and knew) that some members aren't going to much like it.

But giving or getting hugs -- like giving or getting thanks -- is not nor has it ever been a competition. If some people choose to view it that way, that's a real shame, as it completely misses the point.

It's about sharing our generosity and selfless care with others. The badge is there to reinforce this positive behavior.

Best,
DocJohn

... and ...

According to the "Statistics" tab on your member profile page, the number of hugs you've given to others is 1, which is displayed on your badge.

Best,
DocJohn

[rainbow8]

I'm not sure if I like the new hugs button or not, but what is wrong with using the hugs icon-- like we have been doing until now? Is it because not everyone has that on their computer?

[sunrise]

Thanks for the link, ECHOES. Some very funny posts in that thread! I added my opinion to the thread as I think it can be helpful for the administrators to get feedback from site members.

I like the new hugs button, it's a nice way to show support when you feel for someone or sympathise but aren't sure what to write. I'm not really much of a 'hugger' in real life - I'm so awkward sometimes! - But, it's a really nice sentiment and it seems to work nicely here on the forum. Sometimes I've written posts that are just pretty much '' because I've not known what else to write but haven't wanted to ignore the post, but then I don't like to really post unless I can say something more... 'Thanks' isn't always appropriate - usually I just use this if I really agree with someone, find something inspiring, or if someone is replying to me.

Another button I'd like would be a 'Cheer' button. That could have its uses. But then, when would it stop with all the adding buttons?

The hug counter, though? Yeah... I'm not sure about that either, it does make it competitive for some people, which I don't like, because (I imagine) some people may now be going round hugging EVERYONE for EVERY post, and I think that it could make the whole thing seem a little insincere. (And also, soz, but it's also quite an ugly graphic.)

[PreacherHeckler]

"The badge is there to reinforce this positive behavior."

Okayyy... we get reinforced for pushing a button? Are we human beings or rats?

[TayQuincy]

I think it infantilizes the forum and cheapens the hugs that are given. Now they are manufactured in bulk with a click!

I don't mind it but I think the badge stands out a little.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by PreacherHeckler

"The badge is there to reinforce this positive behavior."

Okayyy... we get reinforced for pushing a button? Are we human beings or rats?

so much word. I don't even like the hug emotes and names in brackets too much... when it is a substitute for some real words. Surely, there are times in real life when you can just hug a person and it says it all... but mostly, words are required.

So yeah, pushing a button instead of thinking of words to say.... not a feature I want to forum for people with emotional issue.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

(And also, soz, but it's also quite an ugly graphic.)

Yeah it's really giant, isn't it? Makes it super stand out. Might be better if it was more similar in design and size to the other badges. But maybe they made it bigger and bolder to increase its reinforcing ability.

[roads]

There's a thread in the Community Feedback forum. DocJohn explains.

I am so ridiculous. I am completely scared to hit the "hug" button once, because then I'm afraid that people who DON'T get hugged will feel bad. Somehow, I feel like if I hit it once, I'll be responsible for hugging the world! (totally and completely my own issue).

I know I'll get used to it and find a way to be comfortable with it..just like I have with the other changes in the site over the years...but for right now, it makes me want to not even be here!

Argh!