T today

granite1 · May 30, 2012, 04:56 AM

i have T today.my T has no idea i went to be with the mother.i dont want to tell her at all because i know she will want to talk about it and i didnt want her to be angry at me for going.i know she doesnt think it a great idea and wants me to be able to say no to her.

i big part of me feels horrible because i just cant bring myself to tell her and it feels like i am keeping more secrets from her but i cant tell her.i hate me for not being able to tell her and me not being able to tell the mother NO .i know if i dont tell her it will eventually pass and i will be able to stuff it with all the other untalked about stuff and i will move on.

some day i hope i will be able to trust my T completely but i guess im not there yet.atleast i have PC you guys know all

BonnieJean · May 30, 2012, 05:57 AM

Thanks for letting us know what you are going thru and how you feel about it. It is hard to tell my t things when I anticipate a reaction and answer from her I don't want. Once I told her that's why I didnt want to tell her something-because of her reaction. We were able to work with that.

WikidPissah · May 30, 2012, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

some day i hope i will be able to trust my T completely but i guess im not there yet.atleast i have PC you guys know all

we need to form an "I don't trust T" club. I hope your appointment goes well!

tkdgirl · May 30, 2012, 06:33 AM

Good luck with your appoitnment granite. Don't feel obligated to tell your T if your not ready. I know once I didn't really want to share something with T and I told her this. I was surprised when she told me sharing might not be a good idea as the regret from sharing might make me more hostile towards T.

karebear1 · May 30, 2012, 10:42 AM

Hey granite- I think you could tell T. So what if she doesn't 'approve" of the decision you made. I think she'd be sooooo impressed with you for having the courage to tell her that you did something you knew she might be upset about. I think this is a good test for your T. They're always trying to tell us that we are testing them- so........ TEST HER!

Look- what's done is done. I think it took a TON of courage for you to go to the mothers and help her, even though it probably wasn't the best thing for you. If you had the courage to help the mother, then you have the courage to tell T. T will recognize that I think. And, if you tell her you went , by pre-empting it by saying that you think she might be upset by what you're gonna tell her, I think she'll be sensitive to your fear.

If you feel like you want to trust T, then trust her. It really is a conscientious decision on your part to either not trust T, or to trust her. Why not make that decision based on what you would really like to do?

Please let us know how your appointment goes. I'm interested in hearing how it all turns out.

May 30, 2012, 11:21 AM

I hope your appt goes well. Sending hugs & support your way

rainbow8 · May 30, 2012, 12:35 PM

I hope your session goes well, granite. You don't have to trust your T all at once. I think you've been doing a great job in therapy and will continue to do so, little by little.

If I did something that I knew my T wouldn't approve of, and told her, she wouldn't be angry, she'd be CURIOUS. She would accept that I had valid reasons for doing what I did. She wouldn't judge me. I'm sure your T would be the same, but you don't have to tell her anything that you don't want to.

pbutton · May 30, 2012, 12:38 PM

When I have done things that my T hasn't approved of, he's asked me why I did those things. It is important for me to remember that he's asking for the reasons that I did it, he's not angry with me for doing something wrong. I have a hard time not reacting like I am in trouble, because I am so angry at myself for doing something that I probably shouldn't have done.

granite1 · May 30, 2012, 01:37 PM

i think i will read my journal and see if i can remember what we were working on and continue that.i think it wouold be more usefull then talking about my little side trip to the mothers.

confuseduk · May 30, 2012, 02:06 PM

Hope your appointment goes well Granite, only tell T what you are comfortable with. one day I know she will earn your trust. Don't give up

SpiritRunner · May 30, 2012, 02:20 PM

thinking of you, granite.

rainbow8 · May 30, 2012, 05:40 PM

How was your session, granite? Did you see her on TV before or after?

I'm thinking of you!

rainbow_rose · May 30, 2012, 08:16 PM

thinking of you too

Bmee2 · May 30, 2012, 10:30 PM

Hi Granite1,
Since you do not plan to tell T about visiting your mother, why not write about it in your journal....why you do not want to share the information with T at this point in time. What your fears are? Why you did visit your mother. What is so wrong about seeing your mother? How did you feel while you were there with your mother? Why can't T help you practice saying no? Perhaps an in between step is to have phone calls?
What will it take for you to trust T more?
Write the answers to these questions in your journal. Later when you trust T more you can see where you have grown. Or you might discover a way of asking for what you need to trust T more.

mixedup_emotions · May 30, 2012, 11:19 PM

(((( HUGS ))))

Thinking of you, my dear friend....

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