[autumnleaves]

TRIGGER

I was thinking. I'm wondering: say you had a problem where you wanted to be more open in the bedroom or open to trying new things. Could one go to a regular therapist or would you need to go to a sex therapist? Would it be inappropriate to go to regular therapy for that?

[pbutton]

My regular T and I have discussed sexual issues. He's constantly telling me that we talk about whatever I want to talk about. So I'd think your issues would fall under that umbrella.

[learning1]

I think they are supposed to be open to talking about that. One t I had brought it up. However, if I sensed they weren't as comfortable as they could be discussing it, I'd ask if it would be better to talk to another t about it.

[rainbow8]

My T has always been willing to talk about sexual issues with me. If your T doesn't feel qualified or whatever, he or she would refer you to someone else.

I talk about that kind of stuff with my t. (Actually nothing is off limits to talk about. At least, so far anyway!) It was a little hard for me at first to bring it up, but that was my discomfort, she took it in stride like everything else I bring up! (And believe me, I can be ALL over the place!)

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by autumnleaves

TRIGGER

I was thinking. I'm wondering: say you had a problem where you wanted to be more open in the bedroom or open to trying new things. Could one go to a regular therapist or would you need to go to a sex therapist? Would it be inappropriate to go to regular therapy for that?

that depends on how things are done..

examples

I know someone of the Indian culture and their background is they talk about sexual issues with their medical doctor.

I was visiting a relative and they were telling me as a couple they were having problems.. I suggested couples therapy at the mental health agency.. she called and found out that in her location its not the mental health agencies that deal with "bedroom issues" and they referred her to an agency similar to our planned parenthood.

here where I live and work a person who is having issues in the bedroom have many different options..the crisis center, planned parenthood, county mental health, lots of private and public mental and physical health treatment providers all that deal with all mental disorders, types of therapy....

my suggestion contact your medical doctor. they can tell you if you need to see as you call it a regular therapist, sex therapist or any other variety of treatment providers depending upon whats available in your location.

[shipping]

Yes, I talk about many sexual issues with my T, including my fantasies about her (when relevant). She is quite comfortable, especially now that she knows sexuality is very important to me and is part of my way of receiving the world.

[MAL10]

I can't ever imagine talking to my T about this - is it an issue your T has raised or have you brought the subject up? Its prob something i should talk about but would feel really akward!

[scilence]

It's funny you ask this questions autumnleaves... This is the main reason I am seeing my T. I have PTSD and being with my husband triggers it. When we met my husband and I drank... I don't have a problem having sex with my husband if I'm drinking... I get plastered and I don't have to worry about flashbacks at that moment... I quit when I found out I was pregnant and I started having problems being with my husband. I tried to hide it for awhile but it just didn't work. It's horrible having a husband who does anything in the world for you, you don't have to work, and is such an amazing father, and I can't be with him.
So, when my T asked how many times we have sex and I couldn't tell her the last time we did she didn't put me down for it. She actually keeps telling me I have to do therapy for my husband and 3 year old if I don't do it for myself. They deserve a wife and a mother. I know this but when she asks questions I can't talk especially about sex. It's bad enough I can't give her any details about the CSA but when she asked "how do you and your husband have sex? can you give me details?" I dang near chocked on my coffee and asked her if she was serious. I told her she needed to get the birds and the bees talk from someone else I couldn't do it.

[scilence]

Originally Posted by MAL10

I can't ever imagine talking to my T about this - is it an issue your T has raised or have you brought the subject up? Its prob something i should talk about but would feel really akward!

It is very akward!!!

[WikidPissah]

This is a topic I need to eventually get into myself, but I can't help thinking in the back of my mind that T is a perv. (something happened when I first started seeing him that was never addressed).

[Dreamy01]

I see a regular T and it's clear she is willing to discuss sexual issues with me and isn't in the least bit embarrassed - unlike myself!

Therapists from all walks of life are usually prepared for clients who want to raise sexual issues so it's not a problem unless obviously the T says they would prefer the client to see a specialist sex T. I can't personally imagine that happening too often.

[WePow]

I could talk with my T about it... but I also have thought about finding a T just for that issue. It is worth the work to research and find out what is best for your situation.

the first time i managed to talk about it with my t i had to put my notebook over my blushing face lol

[likewater]

Because i have ptsd from a lot of SA , i've talked to T's about sex. One in particular was very nice and like talking to a nurse just informative and not creepy. Still awkward but helped me a lot. Others i dont feel comfortable, i guess it depends on T and what is going on in my life as to what i work on. I took a vow of chastity until marriage at my church now and it makes things so
much simpler and easier for me. I'll just have a lot of troubke if bfriend marries me now but so far no danger of that.

[scilence]

Likewater, sometimes I wish I would have gotten help before I got married. That way I wouldn't be so fare to my husband and daughter. At the time, I thought I could handle it. I'm in the medical field, very independent, and too embarrassed to talk to anyone. Drinking and partying with my college friends took my mind off of it so I thought.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by autumnleaves

TRIGGER

I was thinking. I'm wondering: say you had a problem where you wanted to be more open in the bedroom or open to trying new things. Could one go to a regular therapist or would you need to go to a sex therapist? Would it be inappropriate to go to regular therapy for that?

You pose a very interesting question!

I have never really discussed sex with my same-gender therapist. I don't have a history of SA, but if I did I would think it would feel natural to discuss it with her. I am not in a relationship right now, but if I were and if I was having "bedroom" problems, I have no idea whether I would feel comfortable talking about it with her! Your question really makes me wonder about it. My first instinct is that I would probably have a hard time discussing it with her. Our therapy has really been centered around my attachment issues and PTSD issues, emotional intimacy issues, sense-of-self issues.. and I think if I were having sex-related problems, I would instinctively want to separate them from my current therapy and see a therapist who specialized in couples sex-therapy. But then again... after reading what others have written, maybe my desire to keep them separate would add to the problem.. or even be indicative of a problem??

There are two issues, really: a) is the T qualified to talk about sex, and b) is s/he comfortable with doing it. I would expect that most Ts are qualified to talk about it, because it's such a central thing for many people and can be connected to the emotional life to a large extent. As for being comfortable with it, that's more of a personality thing I guess - they should be used to it and comfortable with anything, but people are different. I still don't think it would be inappropriate to talk to your regular T about it; the worst that might happen would be, I think, that s/he'd say that s/he thought you might be better off talking to somebody else about it. And presumably refer you to somebody, too.

Then there's the issue of whether you are comfortable talking to your T about sex, but from your question it doesn't look as if that's the problem, as such. Of course that depends a lot on the person and your level of trust for them.