I had a flashback last night to my earliest memory of being afraid to look at someone. Thinking about myself then probs aged 3 ish I felt compassion for her. Now as an adult and the result of all my life events many abusive and traumatic I am a body controlled my an ego developed to protect my real self. But I don't want it now. It's to huge.

I think T's "healthiness" and lack off ego (yes we all have ego, talking extremes here) threatens me. Her lack off and not therefore protecting herself from mine feels very scary. I think because I can't fully get lost in mine I think. I don't know but I know it's not my "badness" my ego protects, it's my innocence.

What ways have others transcended their ego? Has it worked? What day too day changes did you make to aid this?

[kirbydog156]

For me, a daily meditation practice has been extremely helpful. I am learning that I am not my thoughts or feelings, but that I have thoughts and feelings and negative beliefs, and often they are distorted and inaccurate. Love the work of Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle, very eye-opening. To get to a point of being a witness to your thoughts rather than becoming overly-attached is an amazing awareness to develop. Your statement of your perception of your T protecting herself from your ego for instance; is that really true, or is it your perception of the truth?

Why would my ego think T is protecting herself? I see what your saying

[WikidPissah]

I haven't even figured out what my ego is...so you are way ahead of me. I am looking forward to reading the responses.