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geez
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 03:14 PM
  #1
In therapy today I told T I thought about her and my old T while on vacation. I told her I almost purchased something for her and old T as I saw something I think they both would have liked. My T smiled and said "thank you for thinking of me and nice to think of your old T but I'm glad you didn't because I can't accept gifts". I told her I didn't get anything because I felt a little silly about it and realized it wasn't my adult self wanting to do that. She then asked me if it felt like the 6yr old girl and I told her yes and she thought it was sweet and thanked me again.

She then asked me if I thought I put a lot of importance on therapists in my life. I told her no I don't think so?

Anyone else have this question asked of them?
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 03:16 PM
  #2
No as T is aware that she will mean a lot to me because of the work we do.
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 03:42 PM
  #3
No. My answer would be I never have before...but with the current T (not ready to call him exT) I guess a lot of importance, I just didn't realize it until now.

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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 05:27 PM
  #4
Unfortunately my Ts don't have to ask. They know how much importance I put on them.
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 05:31 PM
  #5
That one I have seen has asked if I missed her after a long break that included her vacation and my cancelling a few appointments. I had not. She has announced that I am attached but she has not asked about importance.
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 08:02 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
That one I have seen has asked if I missed her after a long break that included her vacation and my cancelling a few appointments. I had not. She has announced that I am attached but she has not asked about importance.
I am definitely attached to new T on some level (not as much as I was with old T). But I guess on some level I do place a high level of importance? But what is wrong in that? Perhaps it's just to make sure I have others IRL I suppose.. she did mention something about me talking to others outside of therapy.
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 08:17 PM
  #7
i have told exT how important she was to me (which ended up in abrupt termination )... my new T also knows what she means to me and that i'm attached to her. she says its okay and that she won't leave me over it now i just got to trust her that she really isn't going to terminate me like exT
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 10:23 PM
  #8
My T knows how attached I am to him and how important he is to me. It's actually a pretty big part of our work, since most of my stuff relates to not trusting people and not letting them in my life.

He's never specifically asked about it, but we have discussed it. I've brought it up because it too me a while to get comfortable with my level of attachment. Actually, I wouldn't say I'm 100% there still, but I'm learning to relax into it.
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Default Jun 07, 2012 at 10:30 PM
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Originally Posted by geez View Post
I am definitely attached to new T on some level (not as much as I was with old T). But I guess on some level I do place a high level of importance? But what is wrong in that? Perhaps it's just to make sure I have others IRL I suppose.. she did mention something about me talking to others outside of therapy.
There is nothing wrong with it if it is working dor you.
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 06:36 AM
  #10
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There is nothing wrong with it if it is working dor you.
How do you know if being attached isn't working?
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 06:49 AM
  #11
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How do you know if being attached isn't working?
If it is hurting you in some way.
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 07:39 AM
  #12
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If it is hurting you in some way.
no, sometimes therapeutic love hurts and is healing at the same time.
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 07:50 AM
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no, sometimes therapeutic love hurts and is healing at the same time.
This is what I am wondering about. I know therapy isnt easy, if you do it right. My T is so dang blunt. She used that word at our first session to describe herself. At the time I thought that will prolly be a good thing. But now, well now I just dont know...
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 08:00 AM
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@SeaSalt 'course there is the possibility that you could have a ****** T! (well, or at least one that's not a good fit for you).

But yeah... how do you know for sure? I swear my ex-T was really good for me, but every one close to me says he wasn't really. Do i trust their opinions or my own? I think they blame him for the SA but it wasn't his fault! It's complicated.
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 08:15 AM
  #15
As I've stated prolly 400 times this morning I have a tendency to run. I really need to at least see her for a few more visits before deciding. One minute I wanna run, the next I wanna camp out in her office. I just remember having a gut feeling our first visit that she doesnt have a lot of experience with gay clients. She is trying to help me but isnt really being realistic IMO. I would love to run off to various cities meeting new women since we have no gay scene in my town. But that costs money. I am unmotivated and tired of the internet dating thing but long for a girlfriend.
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 08:21 AM
  #16
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Originally Posted by Lillylillie View Post
no, sometimes therapeutic love hurts and is healing at the same time.
I meant causing damage.
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Default Jun 08, 2012 at 08:43 AM
  #17
@stopdog but how do you define damage?
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