[CantExplain]

Just something that came to me...

When someone suffers from hypothermia, they are cold and irritable. They might also be hungry and thirsty.

But you must not expose the patient to direct heat and you must not give them anything to eat or drink. That pulls warm blood away from the brain and could kill the patient.

Instead, the best way is to expose them to normal body heat. It takes a long time to warm them up that way but it is the safest course.

I think something very similar happens in therapy. The patient is desperate for love and affirmation, but the therapist seems cold and unresponsive. Mere listening politely doesn't seem anything like enough! But it works in time. And to do more might be very dangerous.

[stopdog]

Unless the client does not have hypothermia.

Lol, stopdog!

This is interesting though, I've previously read a couple articles on 'emotional thawing' and how it is painful, like when one has frostbite and begins to warm up...

[WikidPissah]

Interesting. I had hypothermia a few years ago. I went out on a mile long jetty in the dead of winter during an ice storm wearing a thermal hoodie. You don't actually feel cold after a certain point, just really crappy and kind of numb.

I needed warm IV fluids and lots of blankets then. Wonder exactly what I need now?

Edit: Remembering this, the rescuers did apply heat packs to my neck and groin.

[granite1]

cant that is definately an interesting analogy

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

I would say that my hyperthermia has definitely not been linear. But the times that I am most desperate for affirmation are the times that I perceive T to be most cold. Nicely working paradox

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Just something that came to me...

When someone suffers from hypothermia, they are cold and irritable. They might also be hungry and thirsty.

But you must not expose the patient to direct heat and you must not give them anything to eat or drink. That pulls warm blood away from the brain and could kill the patient.

Instead, the best way is to expose them to normal body heat. It takes a long time to warm them up that way but it is the safest course.

I think something very similar happens in therapy. The patient is desperate for love and affirmation, but the therapist seems cold and unresponsive. Mere listening politely doesn't seem anything like enough! But it works in time. And to do more might be very dangerous.

I read somewhere that a good psychotherapist knows what is "wrong" with a patient within 2 or 3 sessions. At that point the T could tell them what their problems are and what they have to do to fix them in one session.

But .... you know what the client would do. Deny, deny, deny. I don't think we can see and accept truths about ourselves until we're ready. The pain would be too great, so we don't see these things until we're strong enough to accept them.

So CE I like your analogy. It has to be a gradual process and we need to go at our own pace.

And in the meantime, we're begging the T for food and drink and throwing fits when we don't get them.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by TheBunnyWithin

I read somewhere that a good psychotherapist knows what is "wrong" with a patient within 2 or 3 sessions.

I must ask my T about that. But on past experience, she would deny it.

Nevertheless, the next bit is true. Telling the patient what's wrong with them does no good at all. They have to work it out for themselves or they would never believe it.

Can't explain. Yes I think that's pretty spot on. I read a book about therapy and the Borderline patient where said something similar.

[critterlady]

My T is not at all cold and unresponsive. He's warm and caring and routinely responds to me

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by critterlady

My T is not at all cold and unresponsive. He's warm and caring and routinely responds to me

I'm glad you can see that!

For the first couple of years I couldn't see the warmth at all.