[mixedup_emotions]

T mentioned a few sessions ago about me looking into a more advanced gestalt therapy that involves touch, called the synergy method.

At first, I thought T was trying to get rid of me...but he assured me that wasn't the case. But that because of the comfort and trust that we've built, it may be working against us. I know I am incredibly resistant in therapy.

He may have an intern coming in who is getting certified in this kind of therapy...and T wants me to consider it. I have HUGE issues with touch, so the idea terrifies me. T knows this, but he feels that it may really help me unblock some areas.

Well, the person who created this method wrote a book that was a do-it-yourself kind of book....with exercises that can be done alone or with another person.

I picked a few of the exercises that weren't too invasive and sent them to T, asking him if he would be my partner. He said, "Absolutely"....

....So, now I am holding myself to it.

I am terrified.

Wow, MUE, that is very brave!

thats very brave of you to take that giant leap of faith and trust. you should be very proud of yourself for that♥♥♥ please let us know how it goes. we have never heard of that type of counseling and so are very curious

[rainbow_rose]

Brave is the word i would use too.

[ECHOES]

mue, cheering your courageousness!! I think this sounds very interesting. I'm hoping you will let us know how it goes.

Wishing you success and healing

[adel34]

Hi MU,
As others have said, that is incredibly brave of you. It shows the trust you have in your current therapist, for you to even consider doing something so scary and new for you. It really seems like you two have a solid relationship, and that hopefully this new approach will help open new doors for you.
I know a bit about body psychotherapy. Do you mean Rubenfeld Synergy? Because I have heard of that, though I've never participated in it. What I know for sure about most (if not all ) body psychotherapy is that any touch is done with the clients permission and at their own pace. I hope this reassures you some.
By the way, what's the name of the book? I'm curious and I know others probably are too.
Good luck! Please keep us posted.

VERY brave, MUE. Good for you. Being brave is how we heal

I did some somatic stuff with T and another T that involved some touch with t...I'm comfortable touching him, we hold hands and hug...but it was different. When I got triggered or needed a break, I said so, and I would go sit in a chair on the other side of the room. That part of it was almost the most empowering...to be able to say "you know, I need a break from this" and to have that totally respected, and even praised.

I'll be really interested to hear how it goes.

[WePow]

Yep. You are brave for sure!

I echo Echo's view. It sounds very interesting. Let us know how it goes.

[unaluna]

I've always found it very comforting when T would wrap his arms around me from behind. He held me like that a couple of times on the kiddie chairs. But since the pool incident, it's become our go-to hug before we sit down. So last session, I tried to squirm out almost as soon as it started, and he says, no, not yet. I understand that might be triggering for some who may have been held against their will, but that was never really the issue with me; it's more about being unwanted and unnoticed, than being fearful of touch. So as I reflect on it, it was as if somebody finally noticed and cared that I was agitated, and was trying to calm me by holding me and staying strong behind me, and them NOT being helpless and unable to deal with me. Which is helping me to take better care of myself this weekend, cos I tell T , I just disappear every weekend until I return to him.

[elliemay]

cool, that sounds very brave.

If it's too much at first, have you considered massage therapy? It might not carry the "baggage" associated with "formal" therapy - as in this is a method to help you get over something.

Massage therapy can be awesome - and you don't have to start with a whole body massage either. Facials are fanfriggintastic. As are Scalp massages and foot rubs. There's even a back massage chair that you can opt for.

Might be an easier way to ease into it with less angst associated with it.

I mean, if you are already posting about it here I suspect you are going to carry some stuff there....

I was hesitant with massage at first, but afterwards, I feel pretty and relaxed. Who knew?

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks, everyone, for your responses and support! Sorry I haven't been able to respond sooner. I am borrowing a neighbor's internet connection at the moment, and it is so unreliable.

Yes, it is the Rubenfeld Synergy Method. It was created by Ilana Rubenfeld, and her book is called the Listening Hand. I've read it, but I haven't tried any of the exercises yet. I recall just reading one of the exercises and bawling my eyes out. Powerful.

I have tried massage. It took me meeting the massage T several times before I had a massage. And even then, it was fully clothed, head and neck only. Then, I was able to have my top off (under a sheet, of course) and have my head, neck, shoulders, back, knees and feet. It was incredibly painful (physically)....and unfortunately, massage was not helping to break through the locked muscles in my neck.

I am so anxious about the idea of doing this work with T. Going from no touch at all and sitting halfway across the room during each session - to actually experimenting with energy fields and touch (I am limiting it to hands and shoulder only) will be scary.....BUT, there is a level of safety and trust with T that we've built that I know will help me more than doing this with a friend or stranger. I don't have that fear that he will cross boundaries, which is SO huge for me - as this is not what I have typically experienced with people in my life. That alone is amazing to me.