[kaliope]

Thought Id get the new thread started before the old one got shut down.

Hugs to all.

[kaliope]

they shut it down at 1000

Originally Posted by kaliope

they shut it down at 1000

I was looking at the views. You are right. It is 1,000 posts in a single thread. That is when they shut it down. Since this one is really poplular, we need to keep it going. Thanks for getting it started again!

[kaliope]

no prob!

[rainbow8]

I haven't posted in this thread or the other one in a long time! I'm feeling pretty good emotionally lately, though this "growing up" stuff in therapy is on my mind almost all of the time! Physically is another story, though. We didn't have a real winter this year so my allergies are like springtime! I usually don't need shots or pills in winter but I'm been miserable lately. But the worst problem is heels spurs! It hurts to walk and stand so how can I get exercise, do yoga, or do anything? Now the podiatrist is making me orthotics if insurance covers them. I've already had a cortisone shot which didn't help, and prednisone for 1 week that helped somewhat. He won't give me anymore of that; it's not safe. As usual, I wrote a novel! Well, to make up for not posting here in about a year.

[nicoleb2]

Feeling crappy. I have to go to my t tomorrow and admit to her that i si'd again. It was an awful day and i really was just being as stupid as usual.
Depression is better than it was on friday, but still not good. Not in imminent danger of doing something really, really stupid today

[beauflow]

thanks for starting a new thread ((hugs))
other day was a
strange day... i tried best not to get too down about not doing something i really want (get a simple table, havent had a table in years, i was excited) but some how times got all messed up. the techinical ''today'' may get one. i tried best, still got a little upset and startd seeing signs, told myself to stop it.. another day. instead i got over internet a battery recharer with some batteris, something i have been wanting since i accidently left my first one in the home i upped and left about 3 yrs ago... amazing, fear of restarting... and i think this year i am getting strength to somewhat do it. geez.. havent talked with t about things, maybe should, is part of distress on life, fear of losing everything again

[mommyof2girls]

Feeling heartbroken....

[WePow]

My T wrote back last night. He was away from email. Actually that is good modeling for me. It shows me that I can also take a ME break from others and it is OK to do that :-) I did struggle yesterday, but I made it through.
I still have low energy, but that is OK. Being a whole person is exhausting!

[delicatefade26]

Im just not sure I can make it through this day-I want to stay in bed-I never feel good anymore...my anxiety is bad-I usually see T Mondays but have to wait til tomorrow..ugh

[agma]

As usual, it is Monday morning and I am dreading going to work. I have to go out to eat with coworkers on Wed and that is making me nervous for a couple of reasons...I have to be social and hide my true feelings of depression AND eating in front of others makes me very anxious. I usually skip lunch and just tell my coworkers I am not hungry when they ask if I want to eat with them. No t this week either so I am nervous about that. I am going to try to make it through the morning without SI'ing.

I can't believe we're now on the DRC Vol III! (((((hugs for all)))))

Eeeeee! Feeling pretty good I woke up real early but went back to sleep for a few hours. I'd promised myself a McDonalds today so I went and got one for dinner, went to the supermarket, and went and got something for dad's birthday - so quite a lot of pottering around town in the car, listening to the radio. My taste in music seems to have changed somewhat lately - listening to a lot of lively alternative/rock type stuff... Did therapy re-wire that, too?!

My T sent me a short email this morning that made me smile. I'm ambivalent about tomorrow - it'll be nice to see her, and I do look forward to therapy, but it's kinda scary at the moment and I just know I'm going to be all anxiety and

[Nelliecat]

Mmmmmmm.......... Mcdonalds

[PleaseHelp]

So hopefully brief catch up. I decided to take a break from DBT for a number of reasons. Getting a bit irritated with the "why did you quit DBT?" I didn't quit, I'm taking a break. And yes I talked to my T about it indepth before coming to that conclusion, along with my SO. He went with me to one of my T appointments to discuss a number of things. A new med was added to help with my mood swings.

I've made some "revelations" about some things. Which was a big thing for me to move into the "grey" of borderline thinking. Not sure I've ever done that before. I've been struggling with the whole marriage thing. My SO & I have been together 5 years. We live together, raise his girls together (when we have them), and pretty much are "married." He has 3 brothers: one is married, one just got married, and the other one is getting married & having a baby this summer. So I've been having a mix of feelings. My first "revelation": I was struggling with the fact that the girls are not mine and never will be. (I can't have children of my own, so this has always been a big thing for me) Then it came to me that children (or any other human beings) are not property. So technically they don't belong to anyone. And I'm actually lucky b/c they chose me. Chose me in the sense that they decided to call me mom and have me for their mom. To me that's pretty darn special. They could've decided to not like me and not call me mom and want nothing to do with me. 2nd revelation: marriage is more than a piece of paper. I love my SO and he loves me. We do everything that a family would do. So what if I don't have a piece of paper saying that legally we're bound to each other. I do still struggle with not having the same last name as the rest of my family.

My headaches/migraines are getting worse again. For the last 4 months, I've been getting a headache once a week and a migraine probably 2x a month (they normally last 3-4 days). I manage to work through them, except for this last one. I didn't go to work for 3 days and had to get shots for the pain and to stop the vomiting. I still have the headache and I think its about ready to go to migraine stage again. I don't know what to do. None of the meds work, I can't be on the preventative migraine meds. My regular doc wants to send me to a neurologist, but I don't see how they're going to be able to help. I saw one 10 yrs ago, and he said "yes their is something wrong, but we have no idea what it is or how to help you." Maybe seeing a chiropractor would help. I just don't know.

So much for this being a short post. I have not been writing much as I feel that my "problems" are so trivial compared to others here. But writing about it does help.

to all that are struggling.

[doogie]

Never participated in this thread before, but here goes.

I have t tomorrow. I feel like it is 1 step forward and 2 steps back recently.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

I can't believe we're now on the DRC Vol III! (((((hugs for all)))))

Now up to post number 16!

[Nelliecat]

T tomorrow

[healed84]

Still bad... Yesterday, actually I woke up and was nervous, but went through the day and even went to a superbowl party and had fun for the most part. However, this morning I woke up not in a good place. I am so done with this up and down. Anxiety will be there for a day and not be there for another, or be there for the first part of the day, but then feel bad the rest of the day. I have T on Wed...

[beauflow]

I'm up to early... but today I am thinking too much on WTF am I doing...
I am having trouble with body image right now, and at a lost of what to do.
I am having trouble with where I am going in life, and sort of at a lost with fears with it.
One step at a time is all I can say; and go from there.
Up too early today, we aren't getting a table today, and I don't want to go the store by myself, pay for it, then pick it up a day or two later-- not how I am, plus IDK if they will do that.
I feel ill today, I guess I should not have drank (just a little) last night; my chest feels horrible; but yet I want a damn cig.
Keep telling myself it will be ok, and maybe i should take these things as signs- blah

All be well---

[Silent_tsol]

I guess since I've been attending for a while, I should check in. *raises hand* Here

Day from hell at work. I posted this on Facebook, saying I needed chocolate, and a friend from my training course wrote back 'Buy the chocolate! Think how much you'll save in the long-run instead of needing therapy and valium'...

Was seriously tempted to reply that I can't afford chocolate, because I'm already spending £120 a week on therapy! And that nobody will prescribe me valium anymore

A funny moment, but a sad reminder of how separate I have to keep all my 'lives'. I have always been very open about my mental health history, scars etc. This compartmentalization now is necessary, but difficult and sad...

Must sleep. Thank goodness today is over.

[nicoleb2]

Saw my t this morning, had been really anxious about it because I si'd this weekend instead of calling the on-call person. My t pretty much knew last week that I wouldn't call the on-call person while she was gone, and i didn't, but she wasn't upset, so it went way better than i expected.

My one and only friend is being really crappy right now because she thinks I need to spend more time on me and less doing things with/for my kids. I keep trying to get her to see that a lot of the things I do with them are things I enjoy.

She also disagrees with my taking meds for depression.

We are really not getting along right now, and I am worried that this will ruin our friendship

[delicatefade26]

My good friend contacted my T today because she is worried about me-and I have been struggling with bad thoughts...and I promised her I would be okay-but she emailed T just to let him know of her concern...so T emailed me back-I wrote him and then called him-he said I could call him tonight if I needed to talk-but that if it got too bad he wanted me to go to the hospital...I told him it would be okay...I see him tomorrow. I'm not going to go to school-I'm going to lay in bed until my session in the evening...the worst part about this is not being able to tell how bad I feel-my mom just thinks I dont feel well. I'm just oh so exhausted from life...

[FourRedheads]

Still finding my voice. Trying to post here more..it is really scary for me.

Thinking of going off the Zoloft. I'm worried about weight gain.

Today was a good day, but I am sure worn out. I am back to not sleeping again. That is for the birds!!