[shoez]

one day i just wana hold onto her leg and never let go.

this is such a silly post but yeah.

thats how I feel sometimes.

Im having major issues, I have these "premonitions" that shes gonna leave me any minute and im gonna get a break up speech every next session?
I always feel im preparing for abandonment.

anybody ever feel this way? is this just a common irrational fear? are there signs or flags that tell u when T might leave u?

I realistically dont think she will leave me but sometimes I feel like I miss sessions or something or like im not fully there each time so much, she might get sick of me

yeah, but it's not his leg I want to hold on to. hahahahaha. Okay. Sorry.

I was getting nervous for a while that he would tell me we were done because I was not making any progress toward talking about the major stuff I need. I get afraid that he will lose patience with having having to repeat himself endlessly. He tells me he won't, but everyone leaves me at some point.

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

yeah, but it's not his leg I want to hold on to. hahahahaha. Okay. Sorry.

Hee hee - love this

yes, i have been afraid many many times . t is always there, same place. same t. it still didn't help me. him saying it is what helps. saying he wants to help. that he isn't retiring and if i get to make another appt that really helps too. that is proof he will be there next time.

sending safe hugs

I totally understand.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by shoez

one day i just wana hold onto her leg and never let go.

this is such a silly post but yeah.

thats how I feel sometimes.

Im having major issues, I have these "premonitions" that shes gonna leave me any minute and im gonna get a break up speech every next session?
I always feel im preparing for abandonment.

anybody ever feel this way? is this just a common irrational fear? are there signs or flags that tell u when T might leave u?

I realistically dont think she will leave me but sometimes I feel like I miss sessions or something or like im not fully there each time so much, she might get sick of me

Yes, I feel this way at times. Many times in the past, and I have been able to tell her when this is happening. Then we can figure out where it starts and what it's about. I have a tendency to zoom in on one tiny bit of a session - a few words, a look, etc. - and draw conclusions from that while blocking out the rest; it's about my own fears and not on the reality of the relationship.
Which is kind of embarrassing, but SOOO relieving to see.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by shoez

I have these "premonitions" that shes gonna leave me any minute

When I feel things like that I take them to extremes and act them out in my head to make myself laugh. Can you just see T suddenly standing up and saying, "I must go, now!" and wildly looking around her like she's suddenly come to/lost her senses? Talk about one's mouth dropping open in shock, that would be me. "It's okay, T, come on now, sit down again, you'll be okay, you're safe with me" :-)

I remind myself my feelings are coming from inside me, not from outside, anything that is actually happening. I do a lot of things "opposite" so when I feel like I'm going to be left, I do the exercise where I imagine the other side, that I'm wanting to leave and projecting it on the other person.

Then I think about what is making me so scared that I can't even experience my own feelings straightforward and I apologize to myself for that and look at whatever it is that is scaring me as best I can. That will usually get rid of any projections.

Thinking someone else is going to do something. . . that's a cop out of sorts, we can't begin to know what other people are thinking, feeling, going to do, it's our own selves we're having problems with and we're adding another layer in there (thinking it's about someone else) which just makes things harder for us. It's like bad or repetitive dreams, when you stop and look to see what they're about, pay attention to yourself, you don't need them to help you anymore and they go away. Anytime I start thinking about someone else, especially in therapy, I instantly realize I'm trying to avoid myself in some way and flip it around so I'm hunting for whatever it is I'm trying to avoid and willing to treat it like an expensive truffle; stinky/strong tasting but worth it to find I'll make a good truffle hunting pig yet!

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

There aren't a ton of ideas from general psychology that I found very useful IRL, but one of them is the notion of a self fulfilling prophesy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-fulfilling_prophecy

I have witnessed this in my own life, especially in relationships with others. My own classic example is thinking a friend of mine is mad at me, so I withdraw and act chilly towards them, then they get mad at me for that!

It is very clear that our beliefs about others influence our social relationships. If we are aware of our feelings, as you are, we have a better chance of stopping these negative influences.

[kiki86]

I feel like that too. i told my T once that i wanted to shrink down and live in his shirt pocket. he laughed. but i definitely want to grab onto his leg to stop him from leaving. he's being transferred to another service at the end of july and i'm getting a new T

[Towanda]

[quote=My kids are cool;2412121]yeah, but it's not his leg I want to hold on to. hahahahaha. Okay. Sorry.

OK, I nearly choked on my coffee! Thanks for my laugh of the day