[Fixated]

Idk if people have seen my last few threads, but I recently came back to T from a 5 month break. I did something during the break and T very bluntly called me on it. We met for the second time, and I was able to admit that being wrong makes me feel worthless and unloved.

It was a big deal for me to admit, but T seemed to just gloss over it. She acknowledged that that was how I perceived things but said that everyone makes mistakes and that most of them don't feel unloved because of it..they just get over it. She kinda just left it at that, as if it's what everyone else does, so I should too.

I know the feeling of worthlessness in the face of imperfection is not 'normal' and that I need to work on it, but it is deeply rooted in a lot of the trauma and drama from my childhood. It feels like T is just saying deal with it instead of 'let me help you deal with it'.

Is this some therapy technique? To me it feels unhelpful. I just don't know if it is worth bringing up and arguing over.

[unaluna]

I would bring it up again, saying I need to revisit it. whenever I think something is a "T technique", it never is; i'm overthinking it and I need to bring it up. That would not have been the case with my FOO (family of origin) - they would indeed have been pulling some kind of con on me and not be wanting to discuss it further! But that should not be the case with T.

[stopdog]

Tell the therapist about it. Or ask if it is a technique and tell the therapist to stop it.

[sittingatwatersedge]

((((((((((fixated))))))))) you might be very candid with yr T.

"Oh, so that's how everyone else handles it? Well, I don't; that's one of the reasons why I'm here, T."

T1 looked a little startled the first time I told her that, but it turned out to be the one and only time I had to say it. good luck!!

From what you say, I'm uncertain that you've really made it apparent to your T that you are still struggling with this. If she doesn't know you are still struggling with this, her not working with you on it is because you haven't really told her it is something you need to revisit; that's not a therapy technique. That's just a lack of clear communication. I mean, did it come up once or twice and you both moved on to something else, or have you asked her to really revisit this issue with you?

I don't think it has to be an arguement. There really is no reason for it to be. Is it possible that you have interpretted her not discussing it as a judgement that you are not "normal" rather than that she simply said what she knows to be pretty realistic and thought you were done with the discussion because you stopped discussing it? Sounds like to you just need to ask to talk about it some more.