[Alishia88]

I read in a book about therapy, that a therapist that doesn´t ask a lot of questions the first sessions is a red flag. Is that true?
Mine only asked a lot of questions in the first session (that was about 20 minutes) and not so much ever since. Is this unprofessional?
Sorry, just trying to figure out the professionality of this T...

[WikidPissah]

It depends on the type of therapy they do and their training. Some t's just listen, and they want us to just talk. Other t's think that when we are quiet they get to lecture. And other's ask questions. (there are also some that mix it up).

My t mostly asks questions because I am a very poor communicator. I picked him because that's what I need. I have had very competent T's that didn't ask questions. They weren't bad t's, just not right for me.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

It depends on the type of therapy they do and their training. Some t's just listen, and they want us to just talk. Other t's think that when we are quiet they get to lecture. And other's ask questions. (there are also some that mix it up).

I would agree with this. I also think that T's are able to go from talking, listening, questioning and lecturing to another strategy if they see that what they are currently doing is being counterproductive or just isn't working.

Sometimes a lot of questions shuts people down and other times it opens them up. What a T should do is learn when to use questioning and when not to. Same with the other techniques. Perhaps in large part a good T is determined by their ability to be flexible in how they work with a particular client.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I read in a book about therapy, that a therapist that doesn´t ask a lot of questions the first sessions is a red flag. Is that true?
Mine only asked a lot of questions in the first session (that was about 20 minutes) and not so much ever since. Is this unprofessional?
Sorry, just trying to figure out the professionality of this T...

Therapists have a variety of ways of getting what they need in order to start therapy. Some have you fill out a bunch of paperwork that asks in-depth questions. Others spend most of the first session doing it like an interview to find out what brought you to therapy. And what you read is true - that it's typical for a therapist to spend the first few sessions asking questions as they get to know you, figure out what kind of support system you've got, figure out where you are on your journey.. and what kinds of things are troubling you. How much they ask can depend on how the client is. If they ask a question about a client's family of origin, one client might pour out all kinds of information without further prompting, whereas another client might give one word answers, requiring the therapist to have to probe as much as the client can tolerate. The reason for all of this is so the therapist can formulate an idea about what the client needs.. about how to approach therapy. If a therapist doesn't go through this process, then I'd guess they are just blindly wandering with the client.

Another thing that can take place at the beginning is discussion of boundaries. Some therapists want to go over all that up front - tell you explicitly how everything works, what they expect, what you can expect, what kinds of rules they have for cancelling apts or calling after hours, etc. Other therapists might wait until boundary problems arise before they say anything.

Your job is to go with your instincts about whether this therapist is a good fit. Six sessions in, you probably have a pretty good idea.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I read in a book about therapy, that a therapist that doesn´t ask a lot of questions the first sessions is a red flag. Is that true?
Mine only asked a lot of questions in the first session (that was about 20 minutes) and not so much ever since. Is this unprofessional?
Sorry, just trying to figure out the professionality of this T...

if you were here in NY in the USA no this would not be unprofessional. here some do ask alot of questions, and some dont. Around here where I live and work the therapists base the first appointment on each clients own needs.. some clients dont need an orientation type first session of getting to know each other and others do. Im the type of client that walked in to my first session with my therapist and stated this is what Im having a problem with.. but I do know others that need to go slower and need their treatment providers to know their past history before getting into the present issues at hand.

each treatment provider does things differently for many different reasons. to find out how your treatment provider runs her sessions and why you will need to ask them. there's nothing wrong with you asking the treatment provider questions.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I read in a book about therapy, that a therapist that doesn´t ask a lot of questions the first sessions is a red flag. Is that true?
Mine only asked a lot of questions in the first session (that was about 20 minutes) and not so much ever since. Is this unprofessional?
Sorry, just trying to figure out the professionality of this T...

No, I don't think it's unprofessional, just this T's style. My T likes to let the client lead but did ask more questions at the first appointment, just like yours. If you are concerned about your T's professionalism, there are other things to look for, such as did they give you the right forms to sign at your first appointment--the forms that spell out the confidentiality policy, when they would ever break that (intent to harm self or others), what number you should call in a crisis, etc. Then look at things like demeanor (does the T leer at you, make jokes at your expense, etc.), does the T phone ahead if they have to cancel an appointment with you, is the T consistent in billing practice, etc.

If you are looking for reasons to discontinue with your new T, you don't need much beyond a gut feeling that it is not a good fit. Good luck.

did they give you the right forms to sign at your first appointment

I think this varies between Ts as well. None of the ones I've seen has made me sign any kind of form, and none of them has been in the least unprofessional.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by Apteryx

I think this varies between Ts as well. None of the ones I've seen has made me sign any kind of form, and none of them has been in the least unprofessional.

I agree. My T is super professional but I didn't sign anything. He did an interview first session and then we went right into therapy. No boundary discussions, we tackled them as they came up.

[sconnie892]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I read in a book about therapy, that a therapist that doesn´t ask a lot of questions the first sessions is a red flag. Is that true?
Mine only asked a lot of questions in the first session (that was about 20 minutes) and not so much ever since. Is this unprofessional?
Sorry, just trying to figure out the professionality of this T...

Like others said, I think it really depends on the t.
I completed some forms before my first session. T also asked a lot of questions the first two session, but after that the questions were less and t wanted me to talk more.

Could you ask the t about his/her approach?

[pbutton]

I just went to my first session w/a new T. He asked a lot of questions as he went through my paperwork. I thought it was nice but figured it was one of the nice things about being new. My current T just sits and waits for me to throw a topic out on the table. I am not very skilled at doing that.