We are making up a care package to send to our T, who is still gone. She loves getting presents and surprises. So far we've put some of her favorite candy, a couple nail polishes (she loves outrageous colors), a box of pudding because she and one of the littles always ate pudding together, some of our collages, some socks because she likes crazy socks, a little dog because she loves dogs ( a stuffed dog, not real obviously).... can't think of anything else but we still have some room in the box. Can you think of anything else that would be fun or thoughtful?

[BashfulBear]

Oh, that sounds so lovely, Sarah!!!

Everything sounds just perfect so far! If you wanted to - and are crafty - perhaps you could make her a bracelet (like one of those cute friendship bracelets that are really popular and on-trend right now)? It'd be really special because you made it, and she'd think of you when she wore it!

[BashfulBear]

I think this is one of those times when I'm going to keep thinking of more ideas after I've posted.. hope you don't mind my disorganisation and multiple posting, Sarah!

You could also:
1) Put a CD together for her if she's a music lover.
2) Include a photo or two of you (I know you've mentioned collages though).
3) Include any little jokes or memories you have together - it might make her smile and remember 'home'.
4) Include a small paperback or magazine or two - something for her to read/look at during her 'down time'.
5) Purchase a pretty scented candle or two, if there's a particular scent you know she likes. Candles are pretty relaxing and comforting - I love my vanilla ones!

[peridot28]

The perfect gift would be a plane ticket back home, right? Am I right or am I right? I think the ticket home would actually be a gift for you, to have your therapist home.

I think everything you've listed is really great. Maybe a homemade card would be a nice addition. I bet she'd also like a picture of you, too. How about some inexpensive stationary from the dollar store so she can write to you?

These are great ideas. I know she has pictures of us on her phone, but I will also print out some of them too. And I love the other ideas too....especially the plane ticket!!!!!

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

Some things I put in care packages for my wife -- she often travels on business-- small size (airplane size 3 oz or smaller) of hand lotion, shampoo, conditioner, body wash. I like to get really luxury or organic brands, in the small size it doesn't cost as much. Also bath bombs or a single size salts, bath tea, or fizzles. And doodle toys for her hands. Little notebooks, sometimes I hand make them by taking a nice card, cutting it in half, inserting paper in the middle. I bind it by using a heart shaped hole punch and weaving matching yarn through the wholes. I also send small scented candles and matches, or lavender sachets for her to tuck under her pillow. She says that hotel rooms often smell funky.

[granite1]

how about some tea

Is she a reader? How about a great bookmark? There are some really cool ones out there that say and/or symbolize just what you want them to.

She wants me to send her BEANS. but theyre not legal to send there, customs will get them.beans, of all things!

That's kind of funny. Good ol' customs I guess; they tend to not like produce.

[sconnie892]

Sarah, I think your gift sounds wonderful. You've put a lot of thought into it I was going to say stamps, but those would not be useful if your t is overseas. My grandma used to send me stamps in college with the idea that I had to write her.

[KazzaX]

What about scented candles or something like that? Everyone love scented candles!

I am trying to figure out if i can send her a candy bar that has almonds in it. I dont know if nuts are allowed.
My google searches are not very clear.
Gonna get some of her favorite teas tomorrow.
She loves coconut too, trying to see if i can send that.
Last year i gave her an easter basket full of her favorite things an she was so excited. This year its been a little harder. Oh we are also drawing jer some pictures,& we already printed up three pictures of us together where we are acting like total dorks

[AngelWolf3]

It sounds like you are an artsy/craft person with the collages...Maybe you could make a plane ticket for her, with glitter, and such? IDK, that way you can have the fun of sending her a plane ticket home.
And customs won't allow BEANS?! that's silly! (although I have never traveled outside the US so I don't know!)

I don't have any great ideas, but it looks like you got some really good ones here already!!!!

Let us know what you decide to put!

[granite1]

produce is a tough one depending on Ware you are sending it ask your post office.i was able to send some seeds to Lithuania without to much problem.a candy bar isn't a problem just label it as snacks on the form.i have sent bunches of stuff over seas the trick is be vague on the form Lol.beans may be difficult though

[adel34]

That's such a nice idea! I'm sure she'll love it.
I like Bashful's idea about the CD and scented candle. Those are probably things I'd put.

[kiki86]

i don't have any good ideas but i just wanted to say that sounds lovely. and weirdly my T also has a thing about socks, it was one of the first things i noticed about him. maybe it's a T thing

These are awesome ideas.
I am definitely going to make her a pretty plane ticket!!

[InTherapy]

Am I the only one wondering about the ethics of this whole situation?

It's one thing to give your T a small meaningful token, but boxes of stuff?

Your T should be there to help you and take care of you... not the other way around. What therapeutic benefit does this have?

Have you guys talked about what this gift giving means to you, and what it means to her? What you think it symbolizes?

[kiki86]

I think InTherapy makes a good point. I have given my T one gift once, which was an embroidery i made while i was trying to "keep him in mind" during a stressful family visit but i know he would not accept the kind of gift basket you are talking about and definitely not several times a year!

[Mike_J]

you could send her a SASE

Self Addressed Stamped Envelope that way she could easily write you a note.

T and i have always given each other gifts. Because its fun. Because we are both thoughtful people. Because we both like to give people presents. Thats all it is.

My T is actually more like a mentor than anything.

So today i went to the store and picked up a few more things. Now i need a bigger box

[BashfulBear]

Originally Posted by InTherapy

Am I the only one wondering about the ethics of this whole situation?

It's one thing to give your T a small meaningful token, but boxes of stuff?

Your T should be there to help you and take care of you... not the other way around. What therapeutic benefit does this have?

Have you guys talked about what this gift giving means to you, and what it means to her? What you think it symbolizes?

Originally Posted by kiki86

I think InTherapy makes a good point. I have given my T one gift once, which was an embroidery i made while i was trying to "keep him in mind" during a stressful family visit but i know he would not accept the kind of gift basket you are talking about and definitely not several times a year!

I know she's already answered herself, and I really hope Sarah doesn't mind me saying this.. but it takes a very special T to bond with a client that has DID. So no, it's not going to be the kind of T relationship you or I are used to if we're being treated for depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD, etc. Therapists who are exceptionally good at helping people manage DID are in a whole different ballpark to what I'll refer to as 'typical' Ts. Thus in Sarah's instance, this situation is perfectly ethical and above-board. If the pair of them have found that exchanging thoughtful, meaningful gifts - whilst very far apart and lacking the kind of contact many of us have - helps them to stay connected and further solidify that crucial bond they need, then props to them.

You are very very correct thank you bashful bear

[kiki86]

fair enough! seems like a really nice relationship and of course you know how it works much better than i do!