[mandehble]

I live in a small, crappy, northern town. Healthcare is a bit lacking here in general but real mental health professionals are even harder to come by. I recently discovered a T whom I think matches my needs perfectly...assuming that after the boatloads of research I have done, I actually AM right about what my problems are. The problem is that he is 7.5 hours away in Toronto and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere. He specializes in trauma and attachment related issues which I believe are the underlying problems that have caused me so much grief...and oddly enough, he's doing a workshop in MY city in October. I thought about going but maybe it would just be a tease...and the workshop isn't for people like me; It's for Ts. I'm afraid that if I went, I'd somehow be 'outed' and have some sort of meltdown. I don't know... It sucks that I need help but adequate help is not available in the middle of nowhere

[pbutton]

Wow, how did you stumble across a T so far away? Do you think it would be helpful to contact him to see if he has any recommendations for you?

What type of options do you have in your area?

[mandehble]

Well, there are like two in my area. One does more couples than anything else and the other used to be a cop which sort of freaks me out because my parents are cops and I have a lot of issues surrounding the policing community...
I found this one because I used to live in Toronto and I thought one day I'd move back and THEN get help...and I knew that there would be much more *ahem* PROFESSIONAL professionals there... really, I sort of have this super biased idea that no one who is really good at anything ends up living in my town.

[mandehble]

Also, I have no idea what I'd even say as an introduction. I'll pose that question in a later post when I've actually found someone

[unaluna]

yeah but if he's doing a workshop in your city, then that could be the place to meet your future T? Maybe you could write to him for referrals.

[mandehble]

Originally Posted by hankster

yeah but if he's doing a workshop in your city, then that could be the place to meet your future T. Maybe you could write to him for referrals.

write to him for referrals? Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. I'm quite new to this idea of getting help

[critterlady]

Some therapists have started doing distance therapy using Skype. Perhaps you could write to him and ask if he does that?

If not, you could ask him to recommend someone closer to you who also has experience in the areas you need. (The recommendation is called a referral.)

[unaluna]

are you in a resort town? why is he holding a workshop there? i'm assuming it's on trauma and attachment? I would email him and tell him you're looking for a T in that area, can he give you some names? by area, I mean, that town, but also trauma and attachment. you might wind up in his spam bucket but you can try.

[mandehble]

I'm not sure why he's holding a workshop here. I don't live in any sort of resort town. I live in a dirty steeltown. The University must have requested him or something. Oddly enough, he's doing one in Toronto, one in another northern town, and one here....maybe he has some ties to the North somehow.

I sincerely doubt anyone in my area has the expertise but It's worth a shot.

[unaluna]

university is a good place to look for T's, that's where mine are.

[pbutton]

Sometimes it is more about the connection to the therapist than what their specialty is. I have gained a lot from my T because I feel so comfortable with him.

Since the town you are in has a university, check with their guidance and counseling services department (most universities provide services to their own students). They may have a list of therapists in the area that might be more inclusive than what you have or be able to suggest where to look for more information.

[mandehble]

Originally Posted by pbutton

Sometimes it is more about the connection to the therapist than what their specialty is. I have gained a lot from my T because I feel so comfortable with him.

heh, yeah I've heard. Sorry, I just chuckled a bit because connection is actually a big problem for me. That's why I wanted to see someone who has done lots of research on avoidant attachment styles.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by mandehble

heh, yeah I've heard. Sorry, I just chuckled a bit because connection is actually a big problem for me. That's why I wanted to see someone who has done lots of research on avoidant attachment styles.

Now I am chuckling because I could definitely qualify to get the word AVOIDANT tattooed on my forehead.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by pbutton

Now I am chuckling because I could definitely qualify to get the word AVOIDANT tattooed on my forehead.

Me too. I think it is part of the reason that I am AGAIN in search of another T, but not the whole reason.

I think part of it is that in my small town, the standards of care have slipped and not caught up, over time, with what has evolved elsewhere.
I had a sinking feeling this was true, and then just by chance, I connected with someone during a walk yesterday. As it happens, she is a T and works in a large town on the west coast but spends her summers in my location and she reported that she chose not to practice in my location due to the standards of care, lack of supervision, and the way that the conservative/religious outlook in my place has cast a shadow on work with CSA, trauma, womens' issues and other matters. I hope I'm not offending any readers here but some places just aren't as amenable to some ways of seeing the world, even through therapy.

So the Skype option is really interesting to me. I think it would widen the net that I could cast. I think it might help me find someone who is as much like my old T as possible...someone who would be unlikely to settle here as i am!