Question... Trigger...

I am safe. I'm not doing anything stupid.

This may not be a question for the boards?

My question is this: What is permissible to discuss in therapy about harming oneself (not that I would do anything) without T taking 'action'. Do T's have different comfort levels on the subject. I want to talk about it but at the same time I don't want to worry T. I want to hand that feeling over to her. I want to talk about it and get it out there.

And to reiterate I am safe.

If this question is not appropriate for the message board then I understand and I ask that you then delete this posting.

They are all different geez...but if you put it exactly this way:
it should be fine. There's a danger scale that they use. With my T it is plan, means and intent. I was one to always be planning it...but I didn't actually have the means or intent. I just was trying prepare a way out IF it got too bad. Tell her that if the urge ever got strong or imminent you would tell her. It is helpful to discuss the thoughts.

Geez, I think like Wiki said... there is talking about wishing you were dead, doubting if everyone would be better off if you were dead, and then there is planning, means and intent.

But make sure you and T are on the same page about it... when I had the wish I were dead...everyone would be better off discussion with my T he was fine with it...got out a pad of paper and made a pros and cons list of whether my life was worth living and it everyone would be better off... sort of made me mad at the time but thats how it was...

But then once I sent an email when I was feeling very low and he got worried.. the next session we talked about SU and whether I would tell him if I felt like I was going to do that. Stupid me said NO. He got aggitated...jumped out of his chair... kind of scared me... but my thinking was No because I'm not going to actually do it and if I was wouldn't that defeat the purpose... We had long talks about trusting him and him trusting me and he can't work with me if he thinks I wouldn't tell him when things got bad and blah blah blah... Just sharing so you can see that this conversation if had must be very serious and words chosen correctly and not with sarcasm and being flippant like I was... took a couple of sessions for us to get on the same page about everything.

My t asked me and I said, "not right at this moment". She asked if I would tell her when I was, and I said No, and kind of rolled my eyes. She said "of course you wouldn't". She knows me too well.

All t's are different. But your t, geez- your t knows you, and she just wants to help you. Tell her what you need so she can give it to you.

My T and my Pdoc have absolutely no issue with discussion of suicidal thoughts. It is when I show intent or planning that they move into action mode. They've worked with me a long time, so they have developed a bit of a sixth sense about where that cut off point is. They know I have certain specific types of thinking (I also hear voices when things get to that point--really strong signal) that kick in when I am no longer safe, and I'm pretty honest about telling them if I am not safe anymore. They trust that because I've been straight with them about it. My pdoc becomes very wary if I become secretive about my plans/intent which is a sure-fire way to land in the hospital because it is a sign I am really not thinking straight at all.

I can talk about SI, I can talk about my strong feelings about SU with out him freaking out. If he thinks that is more than just, I think the world or my family would be better off without we contract that I wouldn't do anything before our next appointment. So, really.. I think you are pretty safe to talk about all those feelings. Especially if you state the fact that you truly are safe.

My t and i can talk about it in depth.
It seems to depend on the therapist and their comfort level.

i need to talk about it when i am feeling su. otherwise i start to believe the thoughts and they can become sooo strong. i need to know that i have a release for those emotions and i need a clear headed voice (t's) to turn things around for me; especially when i am feeling su. my thinking becomes very skewed.
hard for me to tell what is real and what is just my thinking combined with the depression...

It is beneficial to talk about suicidal thoughts while emphasizing "I have thoughts but no plan of action". It feels so difficult when we have to feel on edge about what we're struggling with. Feeling like we have to "dance this line" of saying what we really feel, without fear of being put in the hospital. The way I've navigated this with my T is to talk about just that. "I'm having a lot of depression and thoughts, but I'm not actually going to hurt myself and I want to know what we're able to talk about here, and what will clearly lead to hospitalization".

Good luck!

I think talking about the whole lot of it. Intentions/desires etc. words defuse the need.

Thank you all for posting your thoughts. Gives me some comfort on what I can talk about.

Earthmama your signature: "Sometimes pushing People away is the only way I can touch them." really struck me.

Is it like this is making space for yourself to exist?

I'm most comfortable at times being/getting close to someone because it ends with me pushing them away.

It really does seem to vary so much from T to T as others have said. Things like their understanding, experience and empathy really have an impact on how they respond. Maybe if you haven't mentioned it before you could talk about it from the perspective of asking your T if she has much experience and what she understand herself about SI? that way you might get an idea of where to go next; or she will ask you more herself about it

I think it's not considered "imminent danger" (thus kicking in the mandated reporter stuff) until you have a plan and the means to carry it out. I've talked about sui ideation quite a lot in therapy and it's never been a problem, but she always asked about any plans and means.