I am almost scared to post this, because I'm not sure if they're reading my posts or not. I considered making another screen name but I don't want to get in trouble with PC.

I talked with "someone" tonight. And we discussed my team. We were talking about how controlling my team leader is and how she has hired victims on every single occasion. All the other team members are people with issues. With their husbands, with their families, with their childhoods. They all are victims. We've even had a few who have stole drugs, etc. They all have issues.

I'm starting to get out of that victim stance right now and it's torture having to deal with the team leader. She will prep the rest of the team to say stuff to me that's just hurtful. She tries to continually beat me down and keep me under. I feel like someone is drowning me and the harder I fight to get out of the water the more people she brings in to hold me down. She's controlling and manipulative. And she scares me.

I am so scared of her. Of all of them, because they follow her.

The doctor is the only doctor who believes in DID in my area, so I have to stay with them, but I'm starting to question if it's worth it at all. If I'd rather have people calling me a liar.

[adel34]

Hi Lydia,
I'm so so sorry you're dealing with this. Are you sure your psychiatrist is really the only one who specializes in DID in your area? If you want PM me and I could try and look into that for you. Maybe there's someone else.
I'd love to see you get away from these people, especially the team leader! Is she a licensed psychologist or something? I think she should be reported eventually, though I know that would probably be too scary right now.
My only other thought is trying to find a therapist totally outside of this program or whatever this team is a part of, to give you a different perspective and someone who can totally support where you are right now which is coming out of being the victem. Maybe you and this other person could brainstorm about what to do with this awful group of people that call themselves helpers.
Let me know if I can do anything!

She sounds like that nurse in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Ugh. How intense horrible to have to deal with! Is there anyway to change treatment programs or get a different team leader?