You really got a hold on me...

"well and how does this relate to our childhoods? hankster: then: no hugs, no stuffies; now: wants hugs, wants stuffies.
stopdog: then: bad hugs; now: no stuffies, wants to fend off. makes sense to me. different ways to heal different wounds."

Perhaps. I am not against it for others. Clutch away and be happy.

I had some stuffed animals I slept with as a small child.

no toys in bed for me, no toys allowed in my bedroom, they belonged in the basement. but that was my point, I was starved of cuddles my whole life until this T, and I was too weird and too needy to get them in a regular r/s.

Hankster I am glad you have the t that works well for you. And the no toys in the bedroom sounds very sad.

I usually hold a couch pillow (one T had pillows with fringe--even better! ) but my current T doesn't have any so I play with my purse or pick at my nails. My hands always need to be doing something.

I have a T bear but I brought him home. Now I play with my phone in my hand. I take the case on and off.

I sometimes side-hug a pillow. Once or twice I've held it on my lap.

I fidget, which is strange because I don't do it anywhere else. I always pick up coffee right before, and am either playing with the cup, or with my hair ties.

I don't bring anything, my purse sits next to me in the chair. If I am feeling exceptionally fidgety or maybe trying vulnerable I pick up my cell phone and and play around with it (not use it, but just play with it in my hands). T doesn't have any pillows in his office, I am thinking if he did I may pick one up and hold it in my lap.

I asked T once why he did not have a stuffed animal in his office for clients and he said it is because holding a stuffed animal causes people to regress. I usually sit with one arm on the arm of the couch, other in my lap - I tend to "talk" alot with my hands - gesture often, so they're always moving. Once in awhile, my purse is in my lap if I feel the need to hide.

It's interesting that you asked this question today. T's office was freezing and he offered me a throw from his wife's office. I wrapped up in it, and felt incredibly safe and comforted while we talked. Wish I could use it every week. I had a dream once that he brought me a quilt that I wrapped up in including covering my head - he mentioned it today. Interesting session.....

Hah, what I bolded there is about identical to what I replied with, hello to a fellow hand-talker

If I hold something, it's usually my fingers/fingernails/hands, but I try to be aware of when I am fidgeting with them and quit. I really like pillows too, but for my back, not to hold.

Me too!!!!! Major OCD here!

I am lucky, I can manage to sit on the couch in T's office. I always look it over before I sit down to make sure it isn't visably dirty.

I bring my notebook, bag, and water bottle for my transition objects. I am also on the robust side, and keep the notebook open and upright during sessions to kind of shield me....I also fiddle with it when I don't want T so look at me, I figure if I am not looking at her she can't see me.....

I got a new purse today and will bring it with me to the next few sessions. Something tells me I'm going to need a bit of comfort.

Interesting...if I recall correctly, SA isn't a part of what brought you to T. (Sorry if I'm wrong about that.) I notice for myself that the minute things get scary in T--regardless of subject matter--I pretty much twist up like a pretzel on the couch. And I eventually realized that it's about protecting my crotchal (thanks Hank!) area. So I've thought for a while that anything that makes me feel vulnerable somehow gets confused with sexual trauma I experienced. (There's other stuff fhat makes me think that too, but it's definitely TMI.) But maybe genitals are always just a most vulnerable part for lots of us? Or maybe it's my similar history of maternal neglect that didn't help me learn how to care for myself?

Either way, thanks Hankster...interesting stuff, as always!

oh, I think I stole crotchal from Canadian comedian Nikki Payne. Check you tube for her Spanx monologue, hilarious. or any of her bits, really. warning, she's totally foul-mouthed, yet somehow sweetly adorable.

I play with a pen constantly! I have broken countless pocket clip thingies off of pens sitting in that office.