"where do you feel this in your body?"

I hate feeling like I am giving answers that are not genuine, but I do so hate to say "I don't know" so I just come up with something that isn't really true.

I think that comes close to what my T tried to explain. The idea of the body as contributing to a positive resource state (a calm place) that one can "go" to during the difficult trauma work. It sounds like you have done this really well, tigergirl.

Thank you. That's helps me understand how this can be helpful.

Has anyone else's T asked them about identifying a color that they associate with a safe, positive state?

Last night I was listening to a guided meditation for anxiety and it made a lot of use of colors in the visualization, and I liked that. There was one part about going underground through the dirt to discover sparkling gems of scarlet, emerald, turquoise, etc. and I really liked that too.

ok, i gave searching one more try and found the article here http://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/20...ess-reduction/

my T hasn't done that; but I talked to a hypnotist online one time last year and he asked that and at the time it helped a bit ... I like the idea of finding the hidden gems

Hey Sunrise,
I think there are a few things behind this question.
1) When working on grounding, being able to return to your body and feel connected to the world around you (ie when a client is asked to put their feet flat on the floor and take a deep breath), it helps if you can tap into the knowledge of what it feels like to be in your body. So recognizing what you feel in different states can help you connect if you dissociate or panic. Knowing how you feel physically can give you a way to reconnect. You want to be able to reconnect to that feeling of safety. And the best way to do it is if you already know how that feeling feels in your body.

2) While you have a good track record of being able to identify your emotions verbally, it is another skill in your coping book to be able to recognize them in your body. For example, for me, when I'm stressed out my shoulder/back get really tense. So one of the things when I get stressed out that I can do to help is work on stretching those muscles slowly. When I do that, it helps to tell my brain that I'm not as stressed, so then my thoughts slow down, and I'm able to problem solve about the issue that is stressing me out better. It is kind of like the thoughts, feelings, behaviors triangle, your body feels the feelings, and it reinforces to your mind that that is the appropriate emotion for that time. For example, when people have a panic attack, they can have symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, upset stomach. Those physical signs are what help their mind think that they might be dying. Anxiety linked to trauma can be similar.

As to trying to remember 7 different body parts, I would tell your T you are having trouble with that. I don't know the protocol you are working with, but I would think it would have suggestions for when this happens. As the average number of items a person can remember is 7 with a standard deviation of 3. So half the population isn't going to be able to remember 7. Maybe focusing on one or two is a solution.

I would talk to your T about how you feel he is brushing off your questions. It might be that this is a modality that he is new to so is having to defend something he may not understand all the ins and outs to is making him feel defensive (not an appropriate response, but something I could see happening).

I hope that you are helped by this protocol.

I'm trying to think what might help.

Maybe if you look for any discomfort in your body, then try to connect it to a part. I think it's easier to find the discomfort first.

Like for me, when I felt shame I felt very hot. I was flushed, and felt like I was having a hot flash. I could feel it was coming from my chest, then going to my head and face.

Shame is an easier one though. Something that doesn't have as an intense reaction might be harder to pinpoint. Maybe try and sit with it without judging yourself or the process. Which can be hard because it is rather strange, especially when someone is not all that connected with their emotions in the first place.

The 7 body parts sounds tedious! A little over the top IMO.

I occasionally get this question from my T also (where do you feel sad/happy/etc in your body?). I always told her "its not in your body, its a state of mind". But then she told me i have no mind/body connection and that most people do. To me it makes no sense... why would you feel emotions in your body? I don't even feel stress in my body. When I am enraged my body is perfectly relaxed.

So now whenever she asks me that question my reply is "in my prefrontal cortex"

Thank you, tigergirl. For those who didn't click, it is an article telling of the value of the body scan technique, and it has a link to a podcast with a guided meditation for the body scan. I do have a home-made CD where someone does a body scan. Maybe I will look for my CD and try it out again. (I used to play it in my car when stuck in rush hour traffic to fight boredom and help relax.) The article's rationale of why the body scan is helpful adds to my understanding of the importance of knowing what one is feeling in one's body, so thank you.

I love this a bunch.

Thank you, googley. Your explanations were great! They helped me see the value of learning to be able to identify where something is in one's body. I mentioned up-thread that when I am stressed, I hold the tension in my jaw and my TMJ disorder acts up. My TMJ comes from a botched dental procedure about 5 years ago and now I am stuck with it. I have learned to help manage the pain by spotting it early. Then I can head it off by doing relaxation exercises, etc. So I see what you say as kind of similar. I have not felt other emotions localized to specific body areas, such as fear, joy, hurt, anger, etc., the same way I feel stress, but maybe it would have some benefit if I could. So I will keep trying. As I said, I am game to try most anything in therapy, so if my T wants to do body parts again, I will try. (I did tell him I couldn't hold 7 body parts in mind at the same time, so I think he would try fewer. I think I could comfortably do 3.)

That explanation helps a lot. Since we were doing safety as the "feeling", then if I could recall how my body felt when safe, then theoretically I could help myself become safe. That is how it worked with the color too. When I recalled the color, I felt safe, grounded, well, etc. because the color was associated with the positive resource state. I guess if the color works so easily, I don't need the body aspect (at least in that protocol), but I would like to learn the body thing too. But perhaps I would work on that skill separately from the trauma protocol, using the body scan, for example, that tigergirl referenced.

Ha ha! I think they should respect if we feel things differently than they do, so if you feel it in your PFC, why not? As I wrote before, I tend to feel things more holistically rather than in only one body part. So if I'm feeling joy, it permeates my entire body, not just one arm or my stomach. It just radiates through everything, mind and body, and feels great! I might feel bad if I tried to contain it to one body part--like caging a wild bird. Maybe this is not an incorrect way to feel but just different from how my T feels things?

So I'm jumping on the band wagon a bit late but this topic interests me and I've only just seen it. I hope you don't mind everyone.

I have to admit Sunrise that I don't really understand what constitutes a safe place in the body, or that 7 part protocol thingy-ma-jig...I would find it hard to remember 7 things at once too and wouldn't like going around and around in circles repeating it.

But. Unlike it seems with most people, I have no issue with the question in the title of your post. In fact when my therapist asked/asks me that it feels really natural to take a pause and figure it out. It is really interesting to read all the replies because the main problem for me has always been that lots of books on depression talk about negative thoughts etc causing it....but although I do have a rather strong critical voice, it isn't necessarily what is causing me to be sad, it has always felt more like a body feeling that is underneath my cognitive mind. It has always felt like my negative thoughts are a consequence of the feelings in my body like my intellect is trying to figure out a reason why I feel awful - or 'give' me one.

I can understand that people may not like thinking about their bodies especially if they have been through a trauma related to it. I haven't so I don't see it that way because I am my body part during those times, I am not just thinking about it. I am 'in' my chest - if that makes any sense! It is like the body scan - which I really like because I pretend I'm a tiny person exploring my big toe or whatever. May be I am a bit strange?

On the colour topic. I have had some past colours that I have come to me and been a comfort when I was little - not so much anymore. But I do label my feelings or concepts in colours if they feel like they have a colour...not all do.

I think some ways of feeling/verbalising works for some and not for others and it is simply about figuring out what is best for you. If it doesn't feel right I don't think anyone should feel forced into thinking/feeling/experiencing that way. ....Not sure if any of this reply is overly helpful or just me being slightly indulgent talking about myself!