So, a while back I was throwing up constantly because of anxiety after giving T a 40 page story. The content was embarrassing and I was physically ill after giving it to her. Then got physically ill right before the appointments.

I felt frustrated for a while... She refused to go near the content of it. I felt like it was shameful... That's why she was 'avoiding'.

But this last session on Friday was near perfect. Even tho we touched none of the content... She interacted with "little me". (I have DID... But this 'little me' is actually ME, not an alter, but the ME that feels small and child-like, and scared, like an infant with insecure attachment) She cuddled me a lot and rocked me.

She drew me a picture and had me draw her one, so that little me had something to take home. It was a heart with clouds and rainbows (a symbol of healing for me).

Little me doesn't have words for what happened. Little me is scared to be there, afraid she is going to hurt me or not respond at all. But she spent time rocking me and talking to me. Telling me that she loved each part of me. Even the part of me that I keep labeling as 'bad' for wanting 'bad things' from her.

It felt so safe. It felt so safe and I felt so wrapped up at the end. She took care of me and protected me. She kept little me safe like she promised she would. It's the first time in a long time I came home and didn't have a complete emotional melt down.

T did so good with little me. I love her so much.

Aw, that's wonderful!!! I'm so glad your T was so nurturing and so sweet to you/ little you. That just sounds terrific. The times that our T has rocked the littles and cuddled them have DEFINITELY been the most healing times ever. Makes such a big difference. I'm so glad that you felt so safe, and so wrapped up at the end. I'm so happy for you that you came away feeling safe, cared for, and protected. Thats just so good to hear. I hope that you have many more sessions like that!! thanks for sharing-- your post brought a smile to my face.

[Wysteria]

Awesome!!!

Big Hugs for you and kudos for your T!!

WB

[rainbow_rose]

stormyangels, I'm so glad that your therapist was able to give you what you needed and that you felt safe. I'll bet that's an amazing feeling.

Thank you for sharing your positive therapy experience. Those are always wonderful to see.

[PTSDlovemycats]

You are lucky to have such a warm, wonderful, caring T. -Just like you are I bet!

[WePow]

This is so wonderful to read!!!! I am so happy for you that T was able to provide the little you with what you needed the most. That is very awesome~!

Yes. It was great I hope that it continues. Of course, now that session is tomorrow (I go Tues/Fri) I'm anxious, again. Feeling so vulnerable and it went so wonderfully, I'm waiting for it to crumble, because I seem to always find something to be disappointed about, or to find something that identifies that I really AM "bad" or "in trouble".

Sigh.

Here's hoping T is well prepared.

[bamapsych]

Originally Posted by stormyangels

So, a while back I was throwing up constantly because of anxiety after giving T a 40 page story. The content was embarrassing and I was physically ill after giving it to her. Then got physically ill right before the appointments.

I felt frustrated for a while... She refused to go near the content of it. I felt like it was shameful... That's why she was 'avoiding'.

But this last session on Friday was near perfect. Even tho we touched none of the content... She interacted with "little me". (I have DID... But this 'little me' is actually ME, not an alter, but the ME that feels small and child-like, and scared, like an infant with insecure attachment) She cuddled me a lot and rocked me.

She drew me a picture and had me draw her one, so that little me had something to take home. It was a heart with clouds and rainbows (a symbol of healing for me).

Little me doesn't have words for what happened. Little me is scared to be there, afraid she is going to hurt me or not respond at all. But she spent time rocking me and talking to me. Telling me that she loved each part of me. Even the part of me that I keep labeling as 'bad' for wanting 'bad things' from her.

It felt so safe. It felt so safe and I felt so wrapped up at the end. She took care of me and protected me. She kept little me safe like she promised she would. It's the first time in a long time I came home and didn't have a complete emotional melt down.

T did so good with little me. I love her so much.

Oh how I wish my T would do this for me. I wanted exT to let me sit in her lap and hold me and let me cry. That ended in sudden termination unfortunately