[granite1]

i just dont know how i'm going to do this at all.

[unaluna]

stop at starbucks on the way, they'll have you pooping butterflies. do you ever talk about us? ie PC. might be nice for a change of pace. My T takes you guys pretty seriously.

[Chopin99]

You are going to open your mouth and talk. I, for one, believe in you!!!

[rainbow8]

Good luck! I'm sure you'll do fine. Whatever you say or don't say will be good enough. I think you're building a secure relationship with your T and that's the most important part of therapy.

[geez]

I'm here and I'll be thinking of you!

[rosesarered]

You'll do great! :-)

[stopdog]

You can do it. You have done it before. Good luck.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by hankster

stop at starbucks on the way, they'll have you pooping butterflies. do you ever talk about us? ie PC. might be nice for a change of pace. My T takes you guys pretty seriously.

Wait - he doesn't try to get in our personal space though, right?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Wait - he doesn't try to get in our personal space though, right?

umm... like I ever let him out of mine? if you mean does he read here? no; just what I tell him. I did try to show him the video of the dog p'ing on the designer pillow way back when but it was too slow. we really do not do computers together much anymore.

[stopdog]

No, I did not mean did he come here. That would not bother me. I was just playing with you.
Granite - sorry about the detour. I think you will do fine tomorrow.

[unaluna]

sorry, I thought you might be but I wasn't sure. for a comedian I am not very good at getting jokes, i;ve noticed that about myself yeah sorry granite - you were gonna change your name, how about gratin? like the crispy gratin that got tiffany fired I know - say goodnight hank.

[Sunne]

Good luck granite.

[karebear1]

You'll be ok granite, just take a deep breath and go! I'll be in your front pocket if you need extra support!

Granite, I feel very connected to you, there are many people on here i feel a camraderie with, like we share the same song different dance. And I keep coming back to the 20 seconds .... Or something like that thread. You have a story and it needs to be told for you to heal. When I need to talk about things I reall don't want to talk about, I just walk in and blurt it out. Once it's out there it's easier. Oh, and I don't make eye contact... I just look down and say it... And then it's over, let the chips fall where they may...good luck, I'll be here for you.

[sittingatwatersedge]

if you think back to how much you said last time, I hope it will encourage you. You've come so far!!!

I will be keeping close to you today too.

I will pocket ride with you if you want, granite. Thinking of you. I hope it will go really well - you deserve that.

[granite1]

thanks guys i have so much i do want to say.i did tell her about my aunt las week but it really has brought back tons of stuff for me big time and that is what i am worried about sharing.i don't want it to make me feel worse than i do.

things i know and why i need to talk right now today
this is a good opportunity to start talking to her about some of the stuff that went on in my family she really has no idea.but i don't know how.do i just say,oh and BTW the mother use to beat the crap out of me,and i was SA by her best friends son for years. and kept locked in my room for weeks at a time because the mother would kill me if she saw me? so what you planning on having for dinner? There just doesn't seem to be any good way to get these words out at all

i am feeling like i want to SI all the time but am keeping a smile on my face because my husband cant handle it any more i think he is burned out,maybe if i tell her this she can help me.i don't know

these are just two things maybe later i can think of more.it is kind of hard.sorry for complaining ill be ok .if worse comes to worse ill just not talk to her right

[granite1]

Originally Posted by stopdog

No, I did not mean did he come here. That would not bother me. I was just playing with you.
Granite - sorry about the detour. I think you will do fine tomorrow.

it's all good stop i feel when i put a post out there it is for all and has a life of its own.besides a good distraction can be a great thing trust me on that

warning mushy stuff......



you make me smile, OK enough mushy for now

[unaluna]

poop those ugly caterpillars so they can turn into butterflies. After the big thunderstorm, then comes the rainbow.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by hankster

poop those ugly caterpillars so they can turn into butterflies. After the big thunderstorm, then comes the rainbow.

lol working on it

[pbutton]

Good luck today Granite. Let us know how it goes.

I also go to see T2 today. I'm pretty blah about the whole thing right now. Beats being nervous, I guess.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by granite1

this is a good opportunity to start talking to her about some of the stuff that went on in my family

the mother use to beat the crap out of me,and i was SA by her best friends son for years. and kept locked in my room for weeks at a time because the mother would kill me if she saw me

This ^ sounds like a great plan! I will also pocket ride with you.

[rainbow8]

I'll be a pocket rider too!!! Just blurt it all out to your T, granite! It's her job and she cares about what happened to you. It won't shock her. That's how we get better in therapy, by telling our T the worst things, and then she helps us heal from them.

[granite1]

i wish i believed that she could help me heal it all but it scares me .i don't know how she can.but stupid me cant even ask that.

sannah i did talk a lot about what went on with my aunt last week and she said that we could talk more about it this week.but i feel like it goes so much more then what i said .i have taken what has gone on and turned it in on myself feeling horrible and full of hate for everyone and acting out and having bad memories and all and that is the stuff i just cant seem to talk about now.but i guess in a way that is progress because 6 months ago i wouldnt even have been able to say hi never mind tell her what went on with my aunt.

but when i told her about my aunt she wasn't very helpfull she was more confusing then anything.i just couldn't understand what she was trying to say to my and i don't know why

[karebear1]

NOT STUPID!!!!!

Granite- are you looking for ideas or words to introduce what you want to talk about??

How about if you told her what you just said to Sannah? I think that's a perfect lead in to talking about your family on a deeper level. You know, like if she asks more about your aunt, can you just tell her "My aunt is just the tip of the iceberg. There's so much more that goes on than what I said last week. But , I'm afraid to talk about it because it brings back bad memories and makes feel so horrible that I begin to act out."