[mcl6136]

All,

I realize that I'm in a significant amount of pain....hurt.

You see, Tuesdays are ...or I should say ....were, my therapy day.

I gained through therapy, *****ed about therapy, freaked out as a result of therapy, hated therapy and ended therapy with two different providers in less than a year.

Tuesday was my T day for a long time, and the last two T experiences BOMBED.

So Tuesdays are really hard for me now. I "terminated" therapy and have not found a new therapist. And I'm not making much progress...so, the deal is that Tuesdays are hard.

I'm not specifically asking for input of any kind...no real question, just wondering if anyone gets me on this one.

I feel better by Thursday but Tuesday is really tough. I have been trying to schedule something fun, and last night I went out with friends. But I must say, I miss the pressure valve that therapy...even bad therapy...can be.

I hope that some day I can reclaim my Tuesdays...and I won't have this horrible feeling to wade through.

[Perna]

I think i get it. It use to be hard for me like that sometimes when my T was away.

Have you tried a whole week thing; tried to get Tuesday back into your week, a normal day, instead of trying to wrestle with just that one day? I use to play with Sundays and Mondays while I worked; you know how you unconsciously treat Monday as horrible before you even wake practically, because it's the back-to-work day and you are sure it is going to be crowded with problems and uncomfortable and you almost expect to look out and find it raining when you wake?

Maybe you can identify some of the thoughts that make that day different from the others and change/eradicate those and normalize the day some.

My husband and I just had our trash pickup days changed after 6+ years of knowing Monday and Thursday were "trash" days and now, it's Wednesday and Saturday. Think of something you associate with another day and move it? Decide to write in your journal every Thursday morning for 10 minutes, first thing, about your therapy experiences? Spread out the pain and switch other normal experiences to Tuesday?

[mcl6136]

You're so right...I have placed Tuesdays outside my normal experience...told myself this, and worked it into a froth!

Whew....Just posting about this helps!

I know that this is an intermediate step on the way to a better therapy experience. I also know that I want to go back to therapy but I am "stuck" here....

Oh dear.....

[stopdog]

I get it. It is odd for me - even when I am the one who has cancelled, to get through the afternoon on the day I usually go. I try to make sure I have something else scheduled during the time I usually go. It gets a little better for me after the appointment time has passed, but can take up to two days to not feel odd.

[mcl6136]

Exactly..I can actually feel myself returning to normal, being centered and calm and not distractable.

Odd is the perfect word here for me.

Gah!

[stopdog]

Odd is the only word I can think of that fits for me, or possible it makes me feel off as well as odd. Granted, I have a stunted vocabulary around therapy stuff in general. It is annoying and frustrating to me because it is not like I think anything fun or good or even useful happens 99% of the time, so why do I feel off/odd when I do not go?

[skeksi]

I understand! I am a Tuesday girl as well. When I am on vacay, or T is, it's decidedly odd to have a Tuesday pass as a "normal" day. Learning a different routine is always disconcerting!

I understand. My old t dumped me over four years ago, but thursdays still dont feel quite right.

[Perna]

I think time could have something to do with it too; if you find another T, maybe go on a different day? Then the Tuesday association wouldn't have any reason to stick around.

I would make fun of it, "Oh, boy, it's T-day (Tues-day) again!" or refuse the association because Tuesday starts with "Tu" so you "should" be feeling what you feel on Thursday, the Th/Therapy day.

[mcl6136]

When I find my new T, Tuesdays are going to be off limits.

today, I feel a lot more like "looking" for that better r/s than I did before, and I think I'm making (slow) progress.

I'm still so pissed about the bad experiences, and know that my new T r/s will have to deal with the fallout from them...drat!