[struggling2]

for those of you with emailing privileges....how long are your emails to your T? im afraid once i start writing im going to bombard her with a novel.

Mine are short but the feeling of my need for her felt as if it were too much.

[stopdog]

I do not consider it a privilege but mine are long (two - three pages) and I usually what I have written as an attached document. I do not send stuff all that often, not even monthly, but when I do they are several pages. I also do not always email but sometimes send as regular mail. The useful part for me is writing it down and sending it away. I do not do it for a return response from the woman. The point for me is not even really that she reads it.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by struggling2

for those of you with emailing privileges....how long are your emails to your T? im afraid once i start writing im going to bombard her with a novel.

well by now, you probably know that I'm all about expression and creation and I hear...novel, and I think why not?

Write a whole damned novel. You don't have to send it all. You could post it all here.

We could start a writers group!

I'm just saying that I think censoring yourself might not be as illuminating..the T could always ask you to trim back or skim right?

[Perna]

My T never commented on what I wrote her (novel or shorter), I had to bring it up. I say write whatever you want; she may/may not read it all, etc. It's the relationship when you are with T in session that counts.

[Nightlight]

If I write a lot then I print it out and hand it over during my appointment. It takes up time, but even if I was allowed to email that sort of stuff, I wouldn't want to send too much. When I've been allowed to email I've always limited it to stuff that would take no longer than 2-3 minutes to read, at the very longest.

I write to my online T and that costs me money everytime but I have found it very usefull and his replies are absolutely fantastic, he is a genius
I like doing the onling Therapy because I can always just go back to my emails and his and read over them again and again...Ocd I know lol

[autotelica]

I want my T to actually read and respond, since I don't send emails very often. Two or three lines, max. The exception is when I'm letting her edit correspondance meant for someone else (which is what my homework assignment was this week).

She doesn't charge me for emails. So I feel compelled to respect her time by making things short, easy, and relatively infrequent (no more than once a week). In return, I always get a prompt response back.

I say making your emails readable is probably more important than their length (though that's important too). Even when I've been at my wit's end, I've never spared attention to grammar and spelling. And I'm not even a stickler for those kinds of things usually. But again, I like being replied to and actually "heard". And I want to show my therapist that I respect her.

I don't email-I text-but the amount I text would probably add up to a few paragraphs in an email.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Mine are usually 2 or 3 paragraphs (maybe 6 sentence paragraphs). Sometimes, I need to express more, and I write more. I've only sent her a couple of really long emails, and on those, I always state at the beginning that I don't need a detailed reply, just an "I got it and we'll discuss in session" is all I need. Really short emails are usually just scheduling issues or sending T a requested status update.

My T has told me that she reads everything I write. She will often give me a fairly short reply. Most often it's that we'll discuss in session. Sometimes, she'll offer a comment on something I've written, but it's usually fairly short. T's replies are usually 4 sentences or less.

[healed84]

Mine are usually a paragraph or two.. I have only sent two e-mails since I found it was okay to e-mail. In general I keep in short, give the details, b/c really that is how our phone calls are. I tell him briefly what is going on, and he gives me some advice on how to get through it until our next appointment.

Mine vary in length, but he and I have rules regarding email... We email freely but if I have a long email...about specific things and I want him to respond in depth, then I pay him 10 bucks , up to 5 needed replies a week. So far so good. This is fair to him and his time and also a deterrent for me to decide what really is worth it.

[Chopin99]

Mine used to be at novel-level, but now I tend to keep it short...5-6 sentences. T is very brief in reply; however, I understand she can't do therapy via email so I don't expect much. I try to keep it about appointment changes or very important info (if I had a breakthrough between sessions).

[eclogite]

I have written some very long emails. Sometimes they're so long that it's easier to add them as an attachment. A couple times she's printed them out and highlighted things to talk about in session.

For me, the objectives in emailing are in order: 1) me to write something out, 2) for her to read it and know it, 3) a response. I've always told her I don't require a response, but she typically will reply. For the big stuff, I mostly just want a "hey, just wanted to let you know I read this."

I've talked to her about how much time she invests in email and whatnot. I've lent her a book I thought helpful, and sent her two TED talks that made a lot of sense to me with where I was at. I was surprised she watched one of the talks and asked her about that. She said she likes to read or see things that her clients find relevant to them, and that she doesn't mind the extra time it takes.

I also send her a lot of short one-liner emails (mostly for connection) that break up the pattern of long serious ones. She has said that those help a lot.

I think the key thing here is that I don't expect a reply within a certain timeframe, and am not going to get upset or offended if she doesn't have time to reply.

[sunrise]

My emails are infrequent, about 2-3 sentences, and usually about scheduling. Sometimes I'll send him a link or phone number about something we talked about in session that he wanted to know more about. Or I'll respond to something he sends me with a "thank you!" If there is something that is so important that I feel an impulse to email him about, then I save it because I know it is good material for our next session. I like the face to face interaction.

[TheWell]

Originally Posted by struggling2

for those of you with emailing privileges....how long are your emails to your T? im afraid once i start writing im going to bombard her with a novel.

I email my group T but it's usually only questions like what was the name of the book you recommended, I have something I need to talk about that I'm too chicken to bring up face to face etc. usually only a couple sentences. He's the one who started email.

With My one on one T I don't use email but I will call and leave voicemails and he calls me back if I'm freaking out. I've only done that maybe five times in the three years I've been seeing him.

[lostmyway21]

Depends on my moods struggling. I send two a day um the first was short the second was long yesterday. When I first started emailing him they were practically novels. Imagine getting that multiple times a day. I guess I always had a lot to say though. BUT then last week he went away and I sent him just one email a day 4-5 sentences long the whole time. It REALLY varies on my mood and how connected I feel to him. He was away so I felt distant.

[anilam]

I have "emailing privileges" but I absolutely hate doing therapy online- I need his office, my chair and pillow for IT to work

Originally Posted by struggling2

for those of you with emailing privileges....how long are your emails to your T? im afraid once i start writing im going to bombard her with a novel.

I write loads, about any and every thing. The ones when I am upset can be longer (the one about being assaulted was 2.5 pages), but still others are about books, or my day, or random thoughts that pop into my head...she reads them all, and responds to the ones she feels like. If she chooses not to reply via e-mail she tends to bring it up in session.

She says she does not mind my e-mails, and she likes getting them (for now, but acknowledges that may change in the future).

I am the only client who e-mails her in this way, mostly her email is only for scheduling. I think she allows it because I am resistingconnecting with her, and the emails get me more used to communicating/being connected to her, especially btwn sessions.

Originally Posted by TryinToGetBy

I don't email-I text-but the amount I text would probably add up to a few paragraphs in an email.

I would love to have text privileges but am glad I don't bc I would abuse it so badly my T would be ready to disconnect her cell service :-X

I did text once when I sent an email I no longer wished her to read, asking to to delete it asap...but she did not reply (she ended up calling me).