[healed84]

This post from what a shrink thinks is about how Ts are humans too, and they need room to make mistakes and be seen as flawed and even a partner in the journey together. I found it to be a really good read!!

[Chopin99]

Thanks for this. Out of all the things I love about my T, the fact that she openly admits she's human and discloses her mistakes and fears as often as her successes is my favorite. I did not open up to her until she opened up and became real to me. I think I'll send this to her.

[Hope-Full]

I second what Chopin said - my T openly acknowledges her human-ness, and that's probably one of the things I like best about her. She's not perfect, she's made mistakes, she's pissed me off, and we've worked through it all, strengthening our relationship in the process.

I put previous Ts on a pedestal, and it was devastating when they showed their human side. I mean, they were infallible! Glad I know better now, and loved this article!

[skeksi]

This is EXACTLY what I needed to read this weekend. I was frustrated and disappointed with my T last week but didn't realize it until afterwards. I knew I should talk about it but had almost talked myself out of it. I will make sure to bring it up after all. Thank you!

[autotelica]

Humanness is important to me. I would not be able to work with someone who didn't admit mistakes. How do you reveal an imperfect self to someone who IS perfect?

I really liked this statement:

"This is true: A healthy therapist will not ever need you to stay small. They will be increasingly relieved by their incremental over-throw, happy to rescind the authority temporarily granted to them while old wounds healed. They will step down with dignity and acceptance of their own humanity and rejoice to see you claim your own authority when you are ready."

That's what I have seen in my T lately -- rejoicing in my claiming my own authority. He said from almost our very first session that his goal for me would be that I could find autonomy in my life.

Great article. Thanks for posting the link! I particularly like this part:

"One day, strengths will equalize, and a new relationship, one that makes room for two whole people with differentiated and individualized strengths and weaknesses will emerge. And a new kind of intimate collaboration, between participants of equal powers, can begin."

I'm approaching something like this recently with my t, but didn't have such eloquence to describe it with!

Originally Posted by artemis-within

Great article. Thanks for posting the link! I particularly like this part:

"One day, strengths will equalize, and a new relationship, one that makes room for two whole people with differentiated and individualized strengths and weaknesses will emerge. And a new kind of intimate collaboration, between participants of equal powers, can begin."

I'm approaching something like this recently with my t, but didn't have such eloquence to describe it with!

I agree. That is very nicely articulated. It is a great place to get to in therapy--"intimate collaboration".

[stopdog]

I don't see where any thought of a therapist not being human and very flawed comes into play - I never thought of them as super human or whatever - and having one of them admit how flawed they are is not as reassuring to me as it seems to others. I have not had the experience of thinking of one of them super dooper or even more than not completely inadequate and sometimes not even that low bar gets met. I suppose that could help balance out their day of admirers though to have me then show up.

[unaluna]

sd, where does impervious fit in? is it an attribute of their superduperness or of their inadequacy? my T is waitin on ya!

[stopdog]

My imperviosity or theirs?

[unaluna]

SD, your SuperDuperness needs no imperviosity! or eggs - I finally read the post!

[krisakira]

I have the opposite problem. I don't think highly enough of my therapist. I have trust issues, and need a lot of time to establish a respect and trust with a therapist. Sometimes I even think I know more about things than she does because i have been in therapy for a few years now and know a lot of the therapy talk and lingo.

I remember when I'd said something early in my therapy to T about her always having the right thought or action & she replied you think I sit thinking good thoughts all day, I certainly don't. I said "what stupid people get on your nerves too?", T replied "well yes I think we all struggle with that" lol

[Wren_]

I liked this part best

Will it break open before we have developed the necessary language and trust to negotiate it? Will we survive it together?

it seems to speak about what keeps coming up on PC lately where people mention ruptures ... how important it is to have hopefully already developed what is necessary to negotiate and survive on both sides